How To Lose a Girl in 10 Days
by CarsGirlsandMusic
Summary: Spencer tries to get Ashley to dump her, while Ashley tries to make Spencer fall in love with her. They both get caught up in a silly challenge. Will they get what they want in the end?
1. How To: Talk your way out of a ticket

**Hey everyone! I'm back with the Rom-com as promised! Updates might not be as prompt as with** ** _'A race to freedom'_** **due to the festive season and traveling, but I will try my best to have the fic complete by at least New Year! Enjoy reading and please review – I appreciate critique and compliments equally!**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To: Talk your way out of a ticket**

 _Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!_ "Shit!"

I took deep, calming breaths, hoping no profanities would escape my mouth once the officer knocked on the window of my black Jeep Wrangler. I was _so_ busted. That STOP sign really came out of nowhere, and frankly, so did the traffic cop. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think of something, _anything_ , to talk my way out of this. I couldn't afford another ticket. My license was on the brink of being revoked.

"Good afternoon ma'am." He was quite the gentleman, leaning down, flashing a bright white smile after courteously flashing his badge. _Really? Was that supposed to make me feel better?_

"Uhm…" _Think, Carlin, think!_

"May I see your license and registration please?"

"Uhm..." I reached over to the glove compartment and nervously pulled out what he was looking for. If he was going to verify the details… _Oh, God, I'm in_ so _much trouble._

He took my license and gave it a quick once-over. "Please wait in your vehicle, Miss Carlin, I'll be right back."

He started to step away, and finally, _finally_ , my vocal chords stunned me – well, both of us, really – in its presence. "Please, officer, I honestly did not see that Stop-sign. It never used to be there, I take this road every day." I threw in a pout.

He did stop. And seemed very entertained by my begging. Typical guy. _Douchebag_. "Oh? Are you sure about that, Miss Carlin? Because from where I'm standing," he turned and squinted in the direction of the glorious sign a couple of feet away, "that sign looks pretty worn down and quite grown into the roots there."

Was he really being sarcastic now? Could he _not_ see the predicament I was in? I stared at the sign anyway, blushing at the absurdity of my statement. That sign looked like it grew up there.

"Okay, so… I didn't see _you_?" Well, _that_ was a blatant truth.

He had the audacity to laugh! "If you didn't see me, then I presume you skip the sign every day?" His voice was playful.

I couldn't decide which was worse – being caught out in a stupid lie, or this officer trying to flirt with Captain Lesbian. "No, not at all. It's just… " I swear my guardian angel just shoved an imaginary teleprompter right in front of my eyes. _It's about time!_

"I'm pregnant and I feel fat and ugly and I've got my appointment which I'm late for and my boyfriend's going to dump me as soon as he finds out and my parents are going to kick me out and the world just hates me right now!" None of that was true, but I rested my head against my steering wheel anyway, just to add to the drama. I surprised myself by squeezing out tears. _What the hell?_

"Let me assure you, you're not fat, ma'am," the officer reassured me gently. _Oh, if only you could see the abs hiding underneath this shirt!_

"Thank you, but it's not going to change the fact that I am," I continued sobbing. I suddenly wondered why I never took up acting.

There was a moment of silence and I watched him from the corner of my eye as he contemplated what to do. My heart started racing in anticipation. "Look, Miss Carlin, I'm going to let you go with a warning – I'd hate for you to miss your appointment. But you be careful now on the road, for you and your baby. "

I almost laughed. _Almost_.

I wiped the tears from my blotchy face. "Really?"

He nodded. "But only this once. Next time I'm going to have to write you up."

I could only offer a faint smile in fear of my shit-eating grin showing face. This had been way too easy. "Thank you so much, officer…"

"Jones. Officer Jones. And for what it's worth, Miss Carlin, your boyfriend would be an idiot for dumping you." His bright teeth would put the streetlights to shame. I almost got blinded.

"You're a real gentleman." What? I had to give him _something_.

"You have a good day now, Miss Carlin."

I watched in my rearview mirror as he strolled back to his squad car, got in, and drove away.

My heart was pounding against my chest – and for more reasons than just having talked my way out of this. Excitement took over the slight shock of what I've just done, and I realized I'd just found my next article.

Yes, I, Spencer Carlin, was a writer for IN-NY, a very popular women's magazine in New York. It was not my dream job, but it was a foot in the door of becoming a travel journalist. Until then, I was the resident How-To writer.

My articles were entertaining, and people loved it. I generally used real-life experiences, but kept it to the humoristic side. My boss went crazy for it. And that was part of the problem… The reason I couldn't write what I wanted was because everybody loved these damn How-To's too much. I just couldn't help it – I was handed these situations on a silver platter!

* * *

I nearly jumped as an open magazine landed on my desk, unannounced.

"You keep this up, Carlin, and I'll give you what you want very soon."

I looked up at Paula, who leaned against the edge of my desk, and gave an appreciative smile. At least she was trying. But I knew when she said "keep it up", it meant, _keep doing it forever_.

"I especially love the first step," she leaned in to read from the magazine, " _Casually start picking your nose as the officer approaches. He's apt to let you go with a warning so he won't have to touch anything of yours._ It's brilliant, Carlin."

I continued smiling. I just hoped she didn't think I actually _did_ all these things. _Eeeeew_.

"I'm very curious to know which one you actually used to get out of that ticket. Was it; _To cry and say you had a terrible birthday_? Or did you fake an accent so he thought you weren't from around here?"

I shook my head, laughing. Paula really seemed to have enjoyed that article.

"Wait, don't tell me! Did you say scissors when he said papers? Did you just drive off, Spencer Carlin?" I couldn't tell whether she was excited or disappointed.

"No, Paula, I'd never do that," I chuckled. I watched her pick up the magazine and scan over the How-To article again. And then it clicked.

Paula looked at me, her expression something between stunned and admiration. "Oh no, you didn't!"

I knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Pregnant? Really? Did he even _look_ at you?"

I laughed with her as I recalled my little incident with the traffic officer over a week ago. "I think the tears scared him away. It was all I could think of, honestly."

Paula chuckled and finally pushed herself away from my desk. As much as I enjoyed talking to her sometimes, it was also unnerving. Paula's sudden mood swings were very well known at the office.

"Well, let me leave you to it then, I'm looking forward to your next article, Carlin. Meeting's in an hour, then you can tell us all about it."

I swallowed hard, watching as she left my cubicle. I haven't even come up with anything new yet.


	2. How To: Talk your way into a job

**Ashley**

 **How To: Talk your way into a job**

I spotted an open parking, or at least, a gap big enough for me to _make_ it a parking, and maneuvered my customized matte black Harley carefully into the spot right in front of the doors of The Label. It was definitely going to be a good day if it started out like this. There were never any parking available in the busy commercial streets of New York – not even spots like the one I just found.

I sighed happily, and removed my equally matte black helmet, revealing my shoulder length curly brown hair with a red streak through the fringe. I noticed heads turning. I always got that kind of reaction when people realized it was a girl on the bike. A hot girl. I knew I was hot. And I wasn't shy to admit it.

"Ashley Davies, always great to see you first thing in the morning. It brightens up my days considerably."

I couldn't help but snort, almost walking right into Carmen Mendez. "Why, thank you Carmen. I'll be here all week." I tried to walk around the tall suited-up woman, but she was deliberately trying to bloat about something. I spotted a women's magazine in her hands, and chuckled at the cover page headings.

"Have you resorted to How-To articles in girly magazines now, Mendez?" I scanned the headings again. "What, do you need to learn how to talk your way out of tickets? Can you actually _drive_?"

Not even my ill-received teasing faltered her mood. She smiled slyly and glanced down at the magazine in her hands. "Actually, Carmen and I have an appointment at IN-NY – the fastest growing women's magazine in the country. You know, get some exposure out there for our female artists in this little _girly_ magazine."

I knew then that something was up. Whenever the two Carmens were together, they were either busy with mischief, or working on something big and trying to hide it. I believed the latter.

"Davies," Carmen Matheson announced, striding out the front doors of The Label.

I cringed inwardly. They were so much the same they might as well have been sisters. Dressed in women's suits, high heels and sprayed with perfume you could smell a mile away, they even talked the same.

"Matheson," I breathed out, trying not to inhale the scent of her toilet spray.

"Ready?" Mendez addressed Matheson. I watched revoltingly as they fell into step next to each other and left me gasping for fresh air.

"Yeah, you have a nice day too, ladies!" I yelled, irate. _Great, now I smell like shit._

* * *

My supposed-to-be great morning turned even more somber as I dropped my messenger bag and helmet on my desk. Aiden was on my heels, pulling a face.

"God, what's that _smell_?" Trust the gay guy to make you feel even more self-conscious.

"That smell?" I whirled around to face him. "It's the smell of Mendez and Matheson up to no good. What are they doing over at IN-NY magazine?"

Aiden plopped down on a sofa in the corner of my office and pulled out his own copy of the magazine. I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Rumor is that they're going to sign Josie Hemmingway. And you know she's quite big. So they're doing everything they can to make this deal well worth it for her. I think to collaborate with IN-NY is actually a good idea. They should do it for all our artists, everybody needs the exposure."

I grabbed onto a chair, fuming. "Josie Hemmingway? Are you fucking serious?" _I_ was the one who met up with Josie, and recommended she come and see me to produce her next album. How dared they!

"Come on, Ash," Aiden tried to reason, "you know she's all about soppy love songs. We don't do that shit – _your_ words, remember?"

I hurled a paper cube holder at him. " _I'm_ the one who told Josie to come to the label, Aiden! This was my gig! I had really great ideas for her fucking soppy _love_ songs!" I started pacing, trying to remember my activities between the weekend and now. I've been at work every day, how did I miss Josie coming in? Why didn't she ask for me?

Part of me was disappointed in her, despite the fact that everybody here was so greedy and I knew anyone would've jumped at the chance to produce for her.

But we had something special. Or at least I thought so. When we met up it wasn't even my intention to try and convince her to drop her current label. It just happened. I was good that way.

"Slow down, Ash, you're going to give yourself a migraine." Aiden sat up and tossed the magazine aside. "Look, talk to Arthur then. Tell him that _you_ got Josie to come in, and share your ideas with them."

If it wasn't for the fact that he spent more time on his face than I did on mine, I would've decked Aiden right now. " _Share_ my ideas? With the _Carmen_ clan? Are you high on all that hideous hairspray you're using, Aid?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "All I'm saying is, maybe you can all work together and produce something magical. We all work for the same company, Ash."

 _Magical?!_

That did it. "Get out! Get out, _now_!" I marched over to him but Aiden knew me well enough to know when he'd pushed too hard.

"I'll send Sean over with some Aspirin."

" _Out!_ "

I slammed the door shut behind him and tried to take deep, calming breaths. It didn't help that my office were practically glass panels and everybody could still see me. I looked up to see a handful of girls staring at me, half of them ogling and the other half shocked. I haven't realized that I'd taken off my jacket and black wife beater, staring back at them half naked. I always kept clean shirts at work.

It didn't bother me, I could pull off half naked anywhere. Bras was as good as bikini's, wasn't it?

But today was just not the day.

I sauntered over to the tall glass panels and shut the blinds, releasing a long breath I didn't know I've been holding in.

My resolve for having a good day disappeared completely. I didn't know why I felt so on the edge lately. Work had been good, I had a whole handful of artists that I've been working with, and it kept me busy until late hours. But it didn't feel like enough. The hip-hop and indie-rock that I've been doing for years was suddenly not it for me anymore. I wanted to do something big. I wanted people to feel what they were listening to. And unfortunately, it very seldom happened with anything but soppy love songs. I had such a strong feeling about doing something great with Josie. With my own experience of music making, and years of producing – even though it was different genres – gave me an edge that no-one else at the studio had.

I sighed and laid down on the same couch Aiden had occupied just minutes ago. Closing my eyes, my mind drifted back to Saturday night at the bar, where I'd met Josie…

 _"Josie! Josie Hemmingway!"_

 _When she looked over at me, I could see she knew I wasn't the usual groupie or over eager fan jumping up and down for an autograph. In fact, I was still sitting on my bar stool, casually sipping on a beer while my eyes roamed her body._

 _She smiled and swung towards me on her own bar stool, her hand grabbing her drink as she did so._

 _"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name?"_

 _I had to laugh; she pulled the same smooth moves I did. "Ashley Davies." I reached out for her hand and kissed it softly._

 _"You're not a typical fan… are you with a record label?"_

 _I blushed at being so obvious. But I wasn't there to scope out talent, I just really enjoyed Josie's music, despite it being wrist-slitting love songs._

 _She nodded at my silent admission and offered a sweet smile. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me!"_

 _"I'm not here for work. Your music is good, though."_

 _Her brows raised. "Why do I find that hard to believe?"_

 _I was taken aback. And impressed. Josie Hemmingway wasn't a typical artist who didn't know what they wanted, or the ones so overbearing that you'd want to run away from them. She was right in the middle. Down-to-earth. And very attractive with her long red hair and light blue eyes. She was dressed in a white summer dress, already cleaned up and refreshed after her performance under the harsh stage lights. There were no bodyguards hanging around or even so much as a manager clouding her._

 _"I'm really not. I don't even have a card on me," I defended myself._

 _She brazenly checked me out. I didn't dare to wear dresses when riding my bike, so I was clad in a tight pair of jeans and black halter top, showing off my tanned back and shoulders. The boots were not that flattering, but I didn't care. Safety came first when it came to bike riding._

 _"You've got a bike?" she asked, nodding towards my helmet on the seat next to me._

 _"I do. You ride?"_

 _She smiled and slid off her bar stool. "Your place or mine?"_

We spent the night at my place. We talked about music, played guitar together, and made out like crazy. But that was that. The next morning Josie said she'd pop into The Label if I was interested. I was ecstatic of course. I'd forgotten what it was like to share my passion with someone and be rewarded for it in such a big way.

But I haven't seen her since… unlike apparently the rest of the record label...


	3. How To: Hate your job

**Spencer**

 **How To : Hate your job**

"What did Paula want?"

This time I appreciated the interruption. I glanced up at Chelsea as she flicked her messenger bag off her shoulder onto her own desk.

"She liked the article. Oh, and we've got a meeting in an hour." I turned my attention back to my computer screen, staring at the blank page. I haven't been able to come up with a new article yet, and I had less than two weeks to get it submitted.

"Meeting? I thought it was Wednesday today," Chelsea frowned.

"It _is_ Wednesday…" I corrected her. Realization dawned on the both of us that our weekly meeting had been rescheduled to one day earlier. It wasn't a problem, except that we were missing a person.

"Where's Madison?"

I frowned. I haven't seen our friend all morning, and usually she was the first to arrive at work, being all sporty and in fact, our health and fitness writer. Madison was the definition of fit – if you were to look it up in a dictionary. But lately, her head was the complete opposite. As strong as her body was, her heart and mind just wasn't. I was aware that she'd been dumped by a girl she'd been seeing for a couple of days. Madison never took rejection well.

"I don't think she's in yet… do you think she's sulking?" I was worried on her behalf. Paula didn't take absenteeism well – not on meeting days.

Chelsea smirked and I had my answer. "Of course she's sulking. She'd completely fallen for this chick."

I jumped up from my desk chair, knowing I could run the two blocks to Madison's apartment and have her at work in time for the meeting. No way I was going to let her ruin herself like this.

Chelsea knew immediately what I was up to. She stuffed a green sweater into my hands. "Here; a sample. Make her wear it, it will bring out her eyes, and she'll feel better instantly."

I admired my best friend. We'd come a long way since high school, both interested in writing but with completely different views on it. Where I'd been longing to write about things that mattered, to more than just women, Chelsea loved fashion. Combine that with writing and it gave our magazine an edge that outclassed all other women's magazines around the country. Chelsea didn't just write about fashion, she was the quintessence of fashion. I really believed that Paula knew what she was doing when she started hiring. I was grateful to have my best friend as a colleague.

"Thanks Chels, I'll see you in a few!"

* * *

Madison was a complete mess. I stepped inside her apartment without invitation, and took a quick glance around. All the curtains were drawn. Her bed was unmade – my guess was that she just got up, dishes were piling up, and clothes were scattered everywhere. All very unlike Madison Duarte, but _so_ Madison Duarte when she got her heart broken. Which was very often lately. I frowned at that thought.

"I'm going back to bed, there's no reason for me to be out there," Madison sobbed, jumping back onto her bed as I followed her into her room.

I strolled over to the curtains and pulled them open. "Come on, Mads, the sun's out, it's such a beautiful day!"

She refused to budge, and I sat down on the edge of her bed with a sigh. "We have staff meeting in forty minutes, I won't let you lose your job too." I pulled out the sweater and held it out to her.

Chelsea knew exactly what Madison liked.

"Aaaw, this is for me?" Madison asked, a tiny smile creeping onto her puffy face. "It's cashmere!"

"And it will bring out the color of your eyes. Now come on, let's get you ready for this amazing day," I urged her on.

"Oh, Spence," Madison leaned forward and I pulled her into a hug. I could feel her tears wetting my shoulder.

"Come on, Mads, you need to be strong… You only dated the girl a week." I was never good with dating advice.

My words only encouraged her tears. "Six days," she corrected me. "It was the best six days of my life."

* * *

It took us half an hour to get out of Madison's apartment and back to work. Chelsea waited in the lobby and rushed up to us with coffee the moment we stepped through the front doors of IN-NY. She was so good with this. I felt inadequate to give the proper advice or even how to make Madison feel better.

My dating history wasn't any better than Madison's. I hardly dated these days. The last girl I'd gone out with cheated on me after only two days. Before her, I was in a short relationship, but due to career advances, Katherine moved to Toronto. She was an architect. Who liked snow. Apparently. And before Katherine, there was a myriad of one night stands and girls who just never really made me feel like wanting to spend a lifetime with them. I was difficult that way, I know.

"… I just don't understand why? It always starts out so well but then ends in disaster! Why?"

Madison's wailing pulled me out of my reverie and I felt even worse. I didn't know what to say to her.

"Oh, sweetie, give it time, maybe she wasn't the one," Chelsea consoled her.

"I really thought she was," Madison sobbed. Her tears hadn't stopped since I set foot into her apartment. "I mean, the first time Michelle and I had sex, it was life altering. I cried."

Cried? _What?!_

"You cried?" Chelsea asked, clearly as astonished as I was. Now I know I was no pro in the dating industry, but _that_ didn't sound healthy.

"You mean, you had like one tear rolling down your cheek, right?" I tried to justify this.

Madison lead the way to the elevators, still engrossed in her heartbreak. "No, I cried. It was just so intense and I was really emotional. I mean, I even told her that I loved her."

I nearly choked on my coffee. She told her girlfriend of six days that she loved her? What was going on in Madison's head? "After how many days?"

"Four. It's how I felt, okay?" Madison defended herself.

I was dumbstruck. A quick glance over at Chelsea confirmed that I wasn't the only one who thought this was a bit crazy. Madison was doing everything to drive that poor girl away! I dared to probe a little, knowing whatever she was going to say would be cringe worthy and had probably made matters worse. "Okay… so what did she say?"

Madison's expression changed to dreamy. "Oh, she didn't have to say anything at all." And then she was sad again. "I just… I don't understand why she started avoiding me then. She was constantly busy and not answering my phone calls."

"Maybe she is just busy. You know, Spence had the same problem with Katherine. It wasn't that they didn't love each other anymore, they just spent time focusing on their careers," Chelsea tried.

Madison seemed to believe that, but I was somewhat offended. Chelsea didn't have to announce my personal life to the entire staff compliment in the elevator. Plus, it was kind of a lie. Katherine did want to get away from me. She took the offer to Toronto without even considering me or our promises of a future together. I felt a pang in my heart, wondering where I'd gone wrong in the dating pool. I knew I was good looking. So was it my personality?

"Anyway, I know why she left me… it's because I'm fat," Madison concluded.

It was the second time I almost choked on my coffee. Chelsea did too. We both confirmed in unison out loud that Madison wasn't fat. If anything, she needed some meat on her bones. Sometimes I really worried about her with her diets and health plans and even taking the gym thing a tad bit too far.

* * *

Paula had this crazy obsession that we all had to consume bottled water while in her meetings. Her argument was that it cleansed us and opened our minds to ideas. Yeah, my boss was weird that way.

"Apologies for rescheduling our meeting dear writers, but I've got ladies from The Label here tomorrow and I'm proud to announce that we are in the negotiating stage to start featuring up and coming female artists in our magazine."

That was great news. I wondered who Paula would assign to do these interviews and articles. It sounded a lot more interesting than my How-To column, and even though I really wanted to travel and get more serious issues out in the magazine, a change in the meantime would be good.

My attention was back to Paula after everybody had stopped cheering and clapping.

"Okay, let's start with you, Tara. What have you got for our next run?" Paula asked.

I hated when she put us in the spotlight like that. It made me feel like I did something wrong.

Tara, a petite blonde from Texas, smiled and started rambling about Botox injections and who knows what else. I could never understand how Paula adored this girl with her Texan twang. It was difficult to listen to, especially when she got excited.

"Madison, what have you got?" Paula inquired.

My heart went out to her. I don't think Madison had been able to focus on anything but her breakup with Michelle. The way she wallowed you'd think they'd been married for years.

"Uhm…" Madison was at a loss for words.

"She got dumped," Chelsea interjected.

Paula pulled a concerned face. I'd almost believe that she cared, but I knew she didn't really. "Oh no, Madison, that is terrible news. But I must say, you are looking good today. The sweater really brings out your eyes."

Madison gave a faint smile. I knew that she loved Paula's compliments, despite being fake. "Well, I haven't eaten since we split up."

Paula smiled her light bulb smile. I knew this wasn't going to go down well. "Good for you, Madison! I want you to write about it, how you turned this around positively to lose weight."

I would be insulted. In fact, I was ready to interrupt, but Madison frowned, not having taken Paula's insensitive comment to heart. "I can't write about my personal life."

Paula nodded, then looked around at the rest of the staff. Particularly Tara. "Okay, that's understandable. Who will write about Madison's personal life for our next issue?"

I cringed as Tara agreed. She would rip Madison apart. I had to do something, and quick. And then it hit me… I could use Madison's experience as my next How-To column! That way, Madison wouldn't be exposed, and I'd have something for our next issue. How difficult could it be?

I spoke up quickly, not wanting Paula to accept Tara's offer. "Actually… Paula, can I write about it? I mean, not write an article, but rather, a How-To. You know, using what Madison has been doing wrong as inspiration. We all make mistakes to drive our partners away at some point, some just get over it, right?"

Paula was impressed, and pleased. "Spencer… I love that idea! How to… lose someone in ten days!"

I was confused. "Why ten days?"

"We go to print in twelve days, I want your draft in ten. Oh, and Spencer, you need to date someone to do this. I want to see your notes, and I want something real."

 _Oh no, oh no, oh no, she can't be serious!_ I did _not_ do the dating thing anymore! I took a deep breath and was about to retort, but Paula had moved on to the next writer, indicating that she was not accepting any more discussion from my column.

 _Shit!_

I was panicked, but Chelsea and Madison just smiled at me; Madison grateful that I saved her ass, and Chelsea because she's been trying to get me into the dating scene again for the past six months.

* * *

I tried to hang around the lobby and Paula when her ladies from The Label arrived the next day. I really needed to get myself out of the How-To column and into something more meaningful. I was even prepared to do both.

"Ladies… welcome," Paula ushered them away from the reception desk. "Thank you for making time in your busy schedules to come and see us; IN-NY is very grateful for this opportunity!"

I only caught their names and had to make a dash for it as Paula eyed me suspiciously. Making my way up the stairs to the first floor, I realized that I'd forgotten my ID card at reception. I was in luck as Paula stopped me as they came up and I'd already turned around.

"Carmen Mendez, Carmen Matheson, this is Spencer Carlin. She is our How-To girl, and an excellent writer, I tell you. Right now she is working on a column called _"How to lose someone in ten days"._ She will date someone for the time period, and use all the things people do wrong to drive the person away!"

Both Carmens smiled, and one spoke up with a sly smile. "I must say, Spencer, I really enjoy your column, and this one sounds viciously exciting!"

I hated the fact that women in suits read my articles, let alone our magazine. It made me feel inferior to their successes – something I was still dreaming to achieve. They were both hot, though. I'd date a woman in a suit any day.

Paula smiled proudly. "Well, ladies, let's go to my office and let Spencer find her candidate for her article!"

I nearly hurled at the thought.

* * *

 **A/N : My intention is to post a Spencer and Ashley chapter with every upload, as there is a certain pattern which you'll figure out pretty soon. But rest assured that the Ashley chapter will be up shortly! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	4. How To: Love your job

**A/N : Thank you for the wonderful reviews! Here's the Ashley-counterpart as promised! Things are about to get exciting! Happy reading :)**

* * *

 **Ashley**

 **How To : Love your job**

"Ashley? What a surprise! What are you doing here?"

I smiled inwardly at the awkwardness on the Carmen twins' faces. They definitely weren't expecting me to gatecrash their meeting with Arthur. A meeting _I_ should have had with him. Though I still haven't seen Josie around yet, I was still upset, but determined to get my gig back. No-one messed with Ashley Davies. And I was about to instill that little fact to Mendez and Matheson. Who still wore perfume _so_ suffocating, I had to swallow huge amounts of wine to avoid breathing in their scent.

"Arthur, Mendez, Matheson…" I stood up from my chair, intent on showing Arthur the respect he deserved. "I'm here for the meeting."

He was a man of values and set in old ways of doing things, so he pulled me in and gave me a peck on the cheek. I could tell that he was surprised by my presence, but Arthur never believed in bickering or fighting. Instead, he gestured for me to sit down at their pre-booked table.

 _Ashley: 1; M &M twins: 0_

Carmen Mendez shot me a dangerous glance, and all I could do was smirk at her. I loved to get them worked up!

"Ashley, " Arthur asked gently, "you mind telling me why you're here tonight?"

I took a deep breath, trying to find wording that wouldn't sound too childish. "Arthur, I met up with Josie Hemmingway the weekend before she came to The Label. We shared some ideas – which she loved – by the way, and she told me she'd swing by so she could decide whether to move over to us. But someone scooped her before I even saw her!"

Arthur nodded. "I understand, Ashley, but from my perspective, please understand that for someone like Josie Hemmingway, we had to choose who's best suited to produce her kind of music."

"And that person is me, Arthur. I really want to handle this gig," I sighed in frustration. Didn't they get it?

Arthur finally took a seat and motioned to the Carmens to follow suit. "Ashley, I don't doubt your abilities to produce brilliant albums at my label. You're the best out there. But the best out there for _girly love songs_ , are these two beautiful ladies. You know that Josie Hemmingway would be a tremendous breakthrough and a huge account for us. Especially since we're adding magazine advertising into the mix."

"I agree, sir. Hence my belief that I should be working with Josie. No offense, Carmens."

 _Three, two, one…_ I smiled widely as the Carmens pulled faces. They hated when I called them that, particularly in front of Arthur. What? When the universe hands it to you… _Oh M &M, if only you knew how many names I've picked out for you… and it doesn't stop at names…_

To my dismay, Arthur shook his head. "Ashley, I don't know. You've never worked on love songs, and your clients are hardly female! You can be quite feisty at times, which I'm not sure if that would be a good thing with temperamental female artists."

 _I will show you feisty, Arthur!_ I was close to show him that he was right about me, but the anticipation on the nutty version of M &M's faces reminded me to stay cool and not let them win. _Take deep breaths… he didn't mean to insult you._

"But maybe it will be, Arthur. I've got something new to offer on the table – _exactly_ for those same reasons. I can make Josie Hemmingway fall in love with her own love songs." I knew I could – she almost did.

M&M snorted simultaneously. One of them seriously had to be switched at birth. They were _so_ telepathic I was sure they enjoyed each other's boyfriends in bed.

"The point is not to make Josie fall in love with her own songs – she wrote them, after all," Carmen Matheson spoke up. "We want the audience to fall in love with Josie's songs, and her. Which is something you'd know if you understood women. But you don't."

They all laughed at my expense. I joined in, not wanting to show Carmen how much I'd like to leave her out in the sun to melt.

"You can't be offended by _that_ , Ashley," Arthur chuckled, "hardly anyone understands them."

This time I did laugh heartily. _Take_ that _, you little chocolate coated nutcase._

"Women, when they are in love, desire to hear music and lyrics that speak to their hearts. Even guys sometimes want that. This is what we are trying to get out there. It has to _speak_ to the audience. Not shout it at them – which is what _your_ productions does." Carmen Mendez was seriously asking to be slapped. In the face. With a chair.

My quick response hid the anger that was quickly building up towards these two perfume-induced suits who thought they knew everything about love songs. They have never written a song in their lives, let alone properly played any instruments. There was a difference between making music all your life, and taking up music in college to grab at a career that made decent money. And while I was there for the sheer passion, sadly, M&M was only there for the money.

"Look, I know you're all wondering why I'm trying my hand at this while we have more than capable people to get Josie the recognition she deserves. But you're forgetting that you are looking at a woman that loves women. If there's anybody who can tap into those emotions, into the listeners' emotions – because, you know, I could potentially fall in love with them – it would be someone like me. It _would_ be me. I can sell myself, and Josie and her music, to any woman, _any_ time."

"Are you implying you could make a woman fall in love with Josie Hemmingway and her music, Ashley, or with you?" Carmen Matheson challenged me.

Oh, she would _so_ regret that. I could get women. It was more than I could say for her. " _Both_."

Arthur laughed, as if he had known me my entire life. "That's a bit presumptuous, Ashley, don't you think?"

"I'm not presumptuous, Arthur. I'm quite confident about this." Did they really think I spent every night alone in my apartment, sipping on wine and talking to hundreds of cats?

Carmen Matheson sneered. "Yeah, _right_. I'd like you to prove that."

Carmen Mendez nodded, and then her eyes drifted across the busy bar, right outside our blocked off VIP section. I wondered what she was getting at. "I know you're not aware of this, since you don't read _girly_ magazines, but IN-NY magazine are hosting a gala evening on behalf of The Label and Josie Hemmingway as an introduction to the new feature to their magazine. It's in two weeks, give or take a few days. Could you possibly make a girl fall in love with you by then?"

"And with a song of Josie's that _you_ produced. We can play it and see what reactions we get from it," Carmen Matheson added.

Carmen Mendez took my silence as a further challenge. "Any woman, _any_ time?" She referred back to my selling confidence.

 _Challenge accepted, Toilet Spray_. "Any single, available, gay woman, I can guarantee you, it's a _yes_."

Mendez smiled slyly. "I'm not trying to trick you into anything, Ashley. In fact, let's choose someone from the bar, right here. You have gaydar, don't you?"

It was obvious that she was mocking me, but I held my composure. I saw the smiles on Arthur's face as he listened and knew he was enjoying this. So I still had a chance.

"Yes I do," I confirmed, turning around in my seat to scan across the room. There were quite an abundance of ladies tonight. Some were very pretty, and pretty straight, and some were a little bit more… tacky. Unfortunately when judging women at bars or clubs, it was like judging a book by its cover. Dress code was invented for a reason. I cringed when my eyes landed on an obvious group of gay women. They all looked a bit butch. Too butch – like they could hurt me. Physically.

"So, who gets to choose?" Arthur quipped.

Carmen Mendez smiled. "I will – Ashley, you just need to confirm if you think they are in fact, into ladies."

I was quite sure Carmen Mendez's gaydar worked perfectly fine. I knew she's hit it off with girls _and_ guys plenty of times. _Eeeeew_.

Her eyes scanned across the room but it was evident that she'd already chosen a girl. I followed her gaze, and my heart started beating a tad bit faster when my eyes landed on a beautiful blonde ordering drinks. If Carmen chose her, she was _definitely_ either very good, or _very_ stupid. No way that blonde could be into women, single, or even looking. Though the bar was known for single patrons looking to hook up…

"Her," Mendez announced. I stared at who she pointed towards, and my heart stopped for a second. It _was_ the blonde.

I was suddenly nervous and unsure. "How do you know that she's single or even gay?"

Carmen smiled knowingly. "Trust me, I know."

"Then it's a deal. I make blondie over there fall in love with me by the time IN-NY hosts the gala, and have produced a mind-blowing Josie Hemmingway love song, I then get to produce Josie's album. And handle her account." I had lots of doubts, about the girl, not my ability to produce, but there was no way I would give the Carmens or even Arthur the satisfaction.

"We've got a deal, Ashley. I'll give you what you want, if you hold up your end of the deal. I will be the final judge whether the girl has fallen in love with you, and obviously your ability to produce a suitable love song. You've got ten days," Arthur concluded.

We raised our glasses to that, and I felt like I needed a lot more than the wine to try and win over that beautiful blonde's heart.

 _What the hell, let's do this! Man, I love my job!_

* * *

With a slight buzz in my head – obviously from the excessive wine consumption – and a heartbeat trying to race Formula 1, I wandered through the crowd of patrons, trying to figure out how I would approach the blonde goddess I'd have to soon kiss, make out with, probably sleep with, ask her on dates, and make her fall in love with me. All that in ten days. The sooner I started, the better. I wasn't worried about clinching the first night – after all, _everybody_ fell for the Ashley Davies charm. But I never did sleepovers, I didn't cook for women, I didn't remember their names, I just didn't _do_ the whole dating thing. Passionate one night flings were enough to cure my insatiable needs. Normally only until the next night, but with so many women planted on the universe just for that, I never had any problems.

My feet had dragged me all the way over to the mysterious woman who had special abilities to make my mouth go dry, my heart pound against my chest, and leaving me somewhat speechless. All I could squeak out was a quiet "Hi."

Yes, you heard correctly, I squeaked.

She seemed _as_ shy. I wasn't sure if that was _me_ causing it, or just her nature. "Hey."

 _Name! Remember your name!_

I didn't understand where my words have gone. Or even the charm. She just made it worse by smiling. When those beautiful blue eyes looked up at me, shyly, and her mouth curved up, I lost function of my knees. In fact, my lower legs went numb. Not enough to topple, but I wouldn't be able to walk for a minute or two. For a brief moment, I wondered if those M&M nutcases have spiked my drink.

She spoke first. I thought my awkwardness was gone, but her low – yet gentle – voice incapacitated the rest of my body. "Spencer Carlin." She kept smiling.

 _Keep it cool, Davies, keep it cool!_ "Ashley Davies."

"Cute." Her smile reached her eyes.

"Uhm… thank you." I was dumbfounded. Did she find _me_ cute? Ashley Davies… cute?

She seemed to be a mind reader as well. "I meant your name."

I smirked, hoping my _own_ smile would send some tingles through _her_ body. "Thank you for both, then."

Spencer appeared to believe in only one or two word sentences. I was hoping that I was the cause of that. If she was only capable of one word sentences overall, that would be a problem… except in bed. But I couldn't possibly make someone fall in love with me if we couldn't hold conversations.

Maybe Carmen knew this girl…

"Unattached?"

If I wasn't, I'd make myself unattached very quickly. "Currently." Two could play this game.

She smiled, the shyness gone. "Likewise."

I found that hard to believe. Someone as beautiful as _her_? Maybe she could really only speak in one word sentences… "Surprising…"

"Psycho?"

I had to laugh. What was she getting at? I was getting impatient. And hungry. "Rarely. Interested?"

She pretended to think it over. "Perhaps…"

That was it. Game over. "Hungry?"

Her smile was intoxicating. "Starving."

I grabbed her hand, ready to start this bet. "Then we'll be leaving."


	5. Author's Note

**Greetings fellow readers and writers! Sorry to disappoint - this is not a chapter update! Just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas!**

 **Writing has been difficult as we've been hit by scorching heatwaves with temperatures reaching 47 degrees (roughly 116F) - I can't even switch on my laptop during daytime as it overheats despite cooling fans. So... apologies for the slow updates but I promise to have some chapters up after Christmas!**

 **Enjoy!**


	6. How To: Be the bait

**A/N: Update as promised! Hope you've all had a splendid Christmas! We received an amazing gift - rain! It cooled down substantially, hence the update!**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'll comment on reviews after this update.**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To : Be the bait**

"Now?"

"Yes."

I glanced at Ashley skeptically. It wasn't like me to just disappear with people that I've just met. Literally. But she was hot. Hot didn't even do it justice. Dressed in black leathers, and boots that went with it, a white shirt, covered by her black leather jacket, Ashley was the cover picture of something like Women on Bikes. No, scrap that – she deserved the centerfold. She could make teenage boys, let alone girls, get excited while still fully dressed!

"Okay… one second – let me just tell my friends." I may have drifted off a bit too long before I answered. Ashley had noticed and smiled. I ordered her to stay right where she was, so I could run off and tell Chelsea and Madison the good news. I had found a candidate. A _smoking hot_ candidate.

I pushed through the endless crowds of people until I spotted my two best friends. "Hey, so uh, Chels, here's my car keys, please don't drink and drive. Leave it here and grab a cab if you guys need to. I'm off – met a potential date. She's – "

I barely finished my sentence. I felt her presence behind me before I even knew it was her. Both Chelsea and Madison's eyes went wide as they stared at the gorgeous brunette behind me.

I turned slowly and smiled up at her. It felt odd that she was slightly taller than me. A nice oddity.

"Just making sure you're not running away." Her low, raspy voice gave me goosebumps.

I had to plan this out carefully. This girl was easily someone I could fall for. And although I wouldn't mind, I had more important things to concentrate on. I had to make this article count – I needed to. Paula owed me something different – and if it couldn't be what I wanted, then I'd settle for the new addition to our magazine – the _Rising Stars_ section. Anything but How-To articles. I was done with them.

"Oh, she's not going anywhere, don't you worry," Chelsea reassured Ashley on behalf of me.

"Ready?" Ashley asked, extending her hand to me. I grabbed on tightly, and felt a tingle, then butterflies.

 _Butterflies?_

I didn't even know those existed!

"Where are we going?" I had to ask, just in case, you know, she could be a serial killer or some sort of psycho.

I wanted Chelsea to hear – just in case – but Ashley wouldn't have any of it. "You'll see."

We made it outside moments later, and I couldn't help but take a gulp of fresh air. I always found the stuffy bars and clubs somewhat unnerving.

"Are you okay?" the captivating brunette asked, concern written all over her face.

I smiled, wondering if she'd still be so sweet after I started going psycho on her. "I'm good, just enjoying the fresh air."

Her voice was filled with excitement and her face lit up – almost like a Christmas tree. "Oh yeah? Then you'll really like my ride. It's all the fresh air you can get!"

I stopped in my tracks when she walked towards a Harley. She'd misread my enthusiasm – I was actually scared of motorbikes! Plus, I was wearing a summer dress. With heels. How was that going to work?

Ashley swung her one leg over the seat and I couldn't help but contemplate on exactly how sexy that looked. She put on a matte black helmet and then handed me a dorky-looking one. "And you… get the goofy-looking helmet." She flaunted the fact that _she_ looked incredibly hot right now.

I chuckled. "Nah, this won't look goofy on me." I pulled it over my head.

By the smile on Ashley's face I knew I looked funny. She leaned forward and tied the strap underneath my chin, her touch gentle. "It looks cute," she concluded.

The ride wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. In fact, despite maneuvering scarily through the traffic, Ashley was actually a pretty good – _cautious_ – driver. My arms were folded around her waist, hands clenched tightly together. Every time she stopped at a red light, I got a whiff of her hair and neck, and wondered what shampoo she was using. She smelled fresh. And somewhat masculine. Like CK One.

* * *

We parked outside a tiny seafood restaurant. I wondered if Ashley didn't know Red Lobster, or if she was one of those food-lover types who knew all the small little places hidden on street corners or in between factories. I preferred the latter, but only time would tell.

"You can let go now," Ashley chuckled after removing her helmet.

"Oh." I blushed and unclenched my fingers, feeling stiff from holding on so tightly.

Ashley helped me off the motorbike and took the helmet from me. "You're not too fond of bikes, are you?"

Color me surprised. "How did you know?"

She just smiled and led the way to the door and held it open for me. _Quite the gentlewoman!_ "Table for two please," she requested to the maitre d'.

After we were seated, Ashley gave a teasing smile. "You held on for dear life back there. Were you trying to feel me up or are you just generally scared of motorbikes?"

I ignored her comment and shrugged. I was just scared, period. I just felt that people were not protected enough and that something so open shouldn't be made to go so fast. That, and I could barely ride a bicycle. Balance was never my strong point, okay?

"They just scare me. And speed."

Ashley smiled knowingly. I was about to ask why it seemed like she knew what I was talking about, when she stopped me.

"You get more than one type of motorbike, Spencer. Harleys are for cruising – at least the one I have. It's not about speed for me, it's about the freedom. Didn't you feel free back there?"

I had to laugh. "Was me trying to squeeze all the air out of you any indication of how _free_ I felt?"

Ashley laughed with me. It was like music to my ears. It was something I could never get tired of.

"Come _on_ , admit it, you had fun. You got your fresh air, didn't you?"

I had to agree with her there. I really did enjoy the fresh air.

Our meal was incredible. I discovered that the lobster was way better than any franchise's, and the service was superior. I felt at home, yet, well looked after. It was a pity Madison was into health and fitness, she could've written a killer review for this place.

"So, what do you think?" Ashley interrupted my thoughts. She cleaned her hands with a wet wipe and took a sip of her water.

I couldn't help my cheekiness. "Of you or the food?"

"Both."

 _Very brave, Ashley Davies._

"The food is incredible – this place is incredible." I paused to take a look around, enjoying the scenery around me. Finally, my eyes landed back on her. "Of you… well, still undecided. Maybe you can answer some questions for me?"

Ashley seemed to think about it for a moment. "Sure, if that would help you decide how awesome I really am, then ask away."

I decided to go easy on her despite wanting to throw something at her. "What do you do for a living?"

Her sudden proud smile told me she really enjoyed what she did. "I'm a music producer for The Label. I work mostly with hip-hop and rock genres, but right now I'm trying to get my foot in the door with female pop artists."

I smirked. Female pop artists only had one thing in mind. Their heartbreaks, and making money off of it. "Saving the world one love song at a time?"

Ashley laughed. "Something like that. And you? What's your story?"

I was intrigued by her choice of words. "Well… I uh, I write for IN-NY magazine." I was very hesitant to reveal exactly what I was writing. First of all, it was embarrassing to admit to this self-absorbed, hot, brunette music producer that I wrote articles to tell people how not to screw up things like I normally did. Secondly, I cringed to be associated with IN-NY sometimes. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy working there, I just really believed that I was destined to do something bigger. Better. Something that mattered. Not write about the latest fashion trends and How-To wear it.

The fact that Ashley knew exactly what magazine I was talking about was both disappointing and somewhat surprising. I didn't pin her the type. "Fastest growing women's magazine in the country. I'm impressed. Saving the world one shopaholic at a time, huh?"

We both laughed, but I felt slightly insulted. She was making fun of me. "Well, just to let you in on a little secret… I have a masters in journalism from NYU, my boss loves me, and pretty soon I'll be able to write about whatever I want."

Ashley continued with her teasing. "Like what? Makeup?" She laughed at her own joke and lightly rubbed over my knuckles.

I finally relaxed a little when I realized she wasn't belittling me – she was flirting! This was a good sign! I just had to get through our dinner and somehow convince her that it would be a good idea to go back to her place… I needed to clinch this. And for someone who hadn't gone on dates in months, I was nervous. I didn't even know what I was doing half the time!

"One last question…" I dared, looking at her with my pleading blue eyes.

Her smile was soft and very distracting as she stared at me. "I'm waiting?"

"True or false…" I noticed the sparks in her eyes. "All's fair in love and war."

She would never know the true meaning behind that question until it was way too late. Late as in two weeks later when this entire experience would be published in the _fastest growing women's magazine in the country_ – as Ashley put it. I was looking forward to the challenge – Ashley seemed way too cocky and self-confident to _not_ want to go through with this.

"True," she smiled a nose-crinkling smile, unknowingly giving me the permission I wanted.

* * *

Ashley's loft was immaculate. It was carefully, _minimally_ decorated, giving it a sense of endless space. My eyes drifted across the lounge area, taking in some decent portraits on the walls, a pool table and bar decorated with Yankees memorabilia situated in a corner close to sliding doors leading to a balcony, musical instruments everywhere, and finally, a gigantic flat screen TV surrounded by very plush-looking sofas. This minimalistic look really suited the hot brunette behind me.

"Make yourself at home. Can I offer you anything to drink? Cold beer?"

I wasn't the biggest fan, but I accepted.

"Can I use your bathroom?" I had to check in with Chelsea and let her know where I was.

Ashley made her way to her kitchen, leaving me in the lounge. "Sure! Up the stairs, through the master bedroom."

I made my way up, careful to take note of every bit of detail in her loft. I had some serious planning to do.

Ashley's bedroom was as spotless as the rest of the place. It was huge, sporting a king-sized bed with purple covers and black pillows scattered everywhere. The room also had sliding doors to the balcony. She really had a nice place.

I finally reached the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I pulled out my phone from my clutch, and eagerly dialed Chelsea's number.

 _"So… what's the verdict?"_ I heard giggling and then Madison's voice in the background. At least they got home safe, though I wasn't too sure if they were all that sober.

"She's definitely the perfect candidate. Sexy, _very_ cocky, and – "

 _"Into you?"_ Chelsea interrupted me.

I snorted. "Whatever Chels."

 _"So, are you going to sleep with her?"_

 _What?!_

"Are you _crazy_?" I was shocked. Well, not really, the thought had crossed my mind – Ashley was hot, after all – but I had the article to focus on. I couldn't screw this up. Our first night had to leave her wanting more, otherwise it would never work.

 _"Come on, Spence. I saw the way she was looking at you. And the way you were looking at her! She left you speechless!"_

I chuckled and fought the urge to snoop around Ashley's stuff. Everything was in its place. It seemed that Ashley liked her dark colors. Even her towels were black and purple. I couldn't resist anymore and carefully opened a bathroom cabinet, scanning the contents. CK cologne, black shaver, black toothbrush, migraine tablets, makeup, everything was dark. And placed perfectly. A little too perfect. I smiled evilly, wondering if Ashley suffered from OCD. I could definitely use that to my advantage!

"Even if I want to, I can't, Chels. I really have to make her want me more than that." I paused for a second, realizing what I'd just said. "Oh, God, what did I get myself into? I can't do this!" I started panicking. This was going to be a disaster.

 _"Spencer, calm the hell down! Look, take a deep breath, and go talk to her. Just take it slow!"_

I took a deep breath and immediately felt better. Chelsea knew me too well. "Just take it slow, okay, got it. I've got to go, Chels."

 _"Call me later!"_


	7. How To: Reel in bait

**Ashley**

 **How To : Reel in bait**

I couldn't believe how easy this was. Spencer Carlin was definitely the most effortless date I've ever had. And I've had _plenty_ in my lifetime. It was even _her_ who suggested we come back to my place. Not that I was complaining – she was a goddess. Those blue eyes of hers could reel in anyone against their will. I don't know why Arthur insisted I take ten days – heck, this girl could be mine in five!

I strolled over to my sound system and browsed through some playlists. I needed something soft, smooth, soppy… _Oh, God, a soppy love song_ … Was that how these things worked nowadays? I wouldn't know – normally girls would just come over, we'd go to my bed, and they'd leave a couple of hours later. Tonight wouldn't be that much different, except that I couldn't let Spencer leave without wanting to come back.

I finally found some _Colbie Caillat_ , reduced the volume to give the room some more ambient background sound, and decided to light some candles. Had to set a romantic mood, _right_?

I wondered what she was doing up there in the bathroom. And what was up with girls always wanting to go the minute they step into someone's place? I've seen her with disheveled hair getting off the bike already. What could be worse? It's not like her makeup was running or smudged. The only reasonable explanation was that she was on her phone – with the friends I've seen back at the bar. Probably comparing notes or checking in. I guess I couldn't blame her, it was good to let her friends know she was safe.

 _"Back up, back up, take another chance, Don't you mess up, mess up, I don't wanna lose you…"_

 _Fuck!_

Ironically, the soppy love song lyrics from _Colbie Caillat_ just made me realize that I'd gone about this whole thing with Spencer the wrong way. The love songs would scare her away. So would sleeping with her on the first night – it might end up just being a one-night stand. She needed to leave here wanting more! More of _me_. I could do this, couldn't I? Ashley Davies could be more than just a one night fling!

I backtracked and put out the candle flames, and changed the music to something more upbeat. _One Republic will have to do…_ Love songs were not for one night flings, they were for the commitment type. We were still getting there…

"Nice tunes."

Spencer was at the bottom of the stairs, smiling at me, her blue eyes soft and warming. I watched her step closer and took one of the open beers I'd left on the bar counter. I was quite surprised that she drank beer. Girls like Spencer were more into wine. I hated wine. I could drink it, tolerate it, but it wasn't my drink by choice. _Way too girly_.

I returned the smile and stepped over, grabbing my own beer. "Thanks."

Of course there would be expectations – I was a music producer. Weren't we supposed to have good taste in music?

"So uhm, nice place you've got here," Spencer started with the small talk. "Do you use them?" She nodded towards my guitars lined up on the wall next to the bar.

I chuckled. "You don't use instruments, you _play_ them. And yes, I do."

Her brows raised at my correction. "Will you _play_ me something?"

"Maybe another time," I shrugged, feeling quite pleased at the realization that there was a lot of ways I could get her to keep coming back. I raised my bottle and clinked the neck against her beer bottle. "Cheers."

She blushed and made her way over to a sofa. I followed suit but sat down across from her on the coffee table. I knew what she wanted. I could see it on her face. She frowned and patted the spot next to her, trying to lure me to sit down next to her.

I wanted to, believe me, I _really_ wanted to. I could feel my body temperature rise with every look she gave me, and the alcohol just made it worse. This girl would be the death of me.

"Come sit next to me," she said sweetly.

I considered my options. Getting comfortable on the couch would be our demise. If she joined me on the coffee table – granted, it wasn't really a place to sit down on, though some moves would work great on it, if you catch my drift – we'd be less likely to give in to temptation.

I patted the coffee table. "You come sit here," I challenged her.

Spencer laughed and gave in. I felt my heart race a little when she sat down, her arm brushing against my jacket. We were both quiet for a minute. The silence wasn't uncomfortable.

Then she surprised me. Her hands were on my face before I even knew what was happening, cupping my cheeks, pulling me in close until her soft lips crashed onto mine.

I couldn't help but let out a soft moan as her hand reached behind my head and pulled me in even closer. Warning bells went off in my head but I ignored them as I returned her kiss. But we had to come up for air sometime… and that's when I realized we were already going too far.

 _Ashley Davies, you wimp!_

"Hey now, let's not go too fast," I caught myself saying softly. _What the fuck?_

I was scaring myself. Acting like this was against my belief!

Spencer pulled back completely and looked at me, surprise and understanding dancing in her eyes.

Her blue eyes reeled me in, and I found my lips on hers once more. This time, I didn't stop. I stood up, pulling her with me, not disconnecting our lip-lock, and pulled her against my body. Her hands found my face again, then my neck, my hair…

I'd be lying if I said this was not hot. Spencer was hot. All I could think about was feeling her against me. My hands roamed down her back, raising goosebumps as my fingers moved up and drew patterns on her bare shoulders.

She finally pulled away. "You're right, we're moving too fast."

I was dumbfounded. _What?!_

I knew she was right, but as I stared down at her beautiful face, listening to her low voice, I couldn't help but want to kiss her again. Amongst other things.

And to my delight, she agreed to my silent plead. I gently pushed her down onto the sofa, and straddled her legs. She pulled my jacket down my shoulders and I helped her remove it completely.

It took her a second to realize she was staring at my body. It gave _me_ goosebumps.

Our lips collided once more, the intensity of it rising each time we reconnected. It was as if I couldn't get enough of her. Her soft moans and whimpers fueled my want for her, and I couldn't help but let my hands wander all over her, touching her delicate, golden brown skin, feeling the muscle in her upper arms, brushing playfully against her breasts – still protected underneath her dress and bra, all the way down to her hips, her legs, and back up again. I removed her hands from my neck and held them in mine, pushing her back against the sofa, all the while keeping my lips against hers, my tongue dueling hers. She tasted of mint and beer. And Spencer Carlin. I didn't want to forget that, ever.

Her cheeks were rosy by the time I pulled back for air again. She panted heavily, and I could see nothing but lust in her eyes.

Which is why I stopped.

"I think we better stop," I breathed out, my eyes holding hers.

She could only nod in agreement, still trying to catch her breath.

I gave myself an internal high-five for getting the pretty blonde so worked up. At least I still had my charm. Unlike my dignity, which walked out the door the moment I said _stop_.

* * *

I watched her from my balcony, strolling towards the cab I'd called for her. I really hoped that I was doing the right thing, letting her walk away. I'd never live it down if I lost the bet, let alone at least sleeping with the hot blonde.

"Night Spencer Carlin!"

I smiled and waved at her as she turned around to look up at me. _God, those blue eyes…_

She returned the smile, and I could see the dreamy state she was in. That was a good sign, wasn't it?

She lipped _Call Me_ and held up her hand to her ear. Yes, it was definitely a good sign.

"Oh, you are already falling madly in love with me," I whispered more to myself than anybody else.

Spencer Carlin was hooked.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you reel them in...


	8. How To: Flip the switch

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews and follows/favs! I enjoy reading them and appreciate input/thoughts!**

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* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To: Flip the switch**

I stared up at Ashley, pasting a dreamy smile on my face. "Night Ashley."

I blew a kiss at her and signaled for her to call me. Turning back towards the cab, the dreamy smile turned into something more devious. I knew that the brunette player wanted more. _Much_ more. _I'm gonna make you wish you were straight._

Closing the door, I gave the driver my address and sunk back into the seat, replaying the events of the night in my head. I knew I was still smiling, and probably blushing, when my thoughts halted at our heated kissing session.

Withholding had definitely worked. It seemed to have been a tug-of-war game for both of us.

But what mattered was that it worked. She'd successfully taken the bait…

* * *

I was happy to see Madison at work the next day. Early as usual. And with a big smile on her face. It meant that she had gotten over Michelle, or her hangover was just _so_ bad that she had no idea what she was doing. I was preparing for the worst.

"So, I want to hear all about it!"

I could only laugh. I hadn't phoned or texted either Madison or Chelsea after I got home last night, too worked up after the heated kissing session with Ashley. I would have been fine to give them a quick lowdown on how the night went, but preferred to keep the intimate moments we shared to myself for just a little longer. I doubted we'd have any of those again soon. I had a feeling Ashley was going to hate me after just a couple of days. Yes, I'd barely closed an eye, endless ideas running through my mind of how I could push the pompous but _oh so sexy_ brunette away.

"Let's just say – "

"Delivery for Spencer Carlin?"

I looked up to see five delivery guys from a local florist marching into the huge open-planned office, making their way towards me after someone pointed them in the right direction. Gasps and whispers could be heard all over the office. I blushed profusely as I stared at the dozens of delicate red roses being hauled my way.

Chelsea, who was right behind the delivery crew, smiled and grabbed a card from the first dozen, her eyes wide as it scanned over the message. _"I want to lay you down in a bed of roses?"_ she half read, half questioned, looking up at me.

"She's a music producer – of course she's going to quote lyrics to every girl she meets." I couldn't believe how corny Ashley was being.

Chelsea chuckled. "So does this mean she's hooked? Did you guys – "

I couldn't help but smirk, thinking about the very devious stint I'd pulled; leaving my clutch in Ashley's bathroom, staged so it looked like it was knocked down onto the floor. I knew Ashley would notice it the minute her OCD tendencies kicked in. It would force her to phone me. It would force her to see me again. And I just so happened to have the baseball tickets I'd scored off of Madison in my clutch. It wasn't planned that way, but after seeing all the Yankees paraphernalia in Ashley's bar, it was a given. She was as much a baseball fan as I was.

"It means… she must have found the Yankees tickets," I acknowledged, the gears in my head spinning. This was good. Maybe I was born to be a How-To writer. Or to stage things. Or both.

" _You_ took the tickets?" Madison gave me an incredulous look.

I nodded, brushing off the look she gave me. Madison hated the sport, and always gave her tickets to me. "You owe me anyway, for saving your ass with this article."

The buzz of my office phone interrupted our banter, and I smiled gratefully at Chelsea who signed the delivery documentation on behalf of me.

"Spencer Carlin – "

 _"Hey beautiful girl."_

Despite being arrogant and overly self-confident, I couldn't help but be somewhat drawn in by Ashley Davies' charm. And her raspy voice.

 _Snap out of it, Carlin._

"So, I've got quite a huge display of red roses here in my office this morning…" I wasn't going to thank her quite yet.

But of course, Ashley, being so cocky, just continued. " _You're welcome. Look, I had a really wonderful time last night."_ She paused for a second. _"I have your bag, it got knocked to the floor in my bathroom."_

Things were really going my way right now. I was waiting anxiously to hear what else she'd found. "I realized that – I must've forgotten about it."

 _"You probably need it back, I mean, your credit cards, your ID, and the Yankees tickets for tomorrow's game…"_

I laughed, mouthing to Chelsea and Madison, who was listening intensely to the one-sided conversation, that Ashley had found the tickets.

"Well… I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm going to the game with someone else."

Chelsea kicked my chair and Madison pulled a face.

I knew what I was doing, though. Or I thought I did. I just wanted to tease Ashley a little, see how much she _really_ wanted to go. With me.

That was a weird thought. I haven't thought about myself with someone in almost a year. I ignored the slight pang I felt in my chest and turned my attention back to the incredibly sexy voice of a certain music producer. I couldn't help but wonder what Ashley was wearing to work. What her office or studio looked like.

 _"Not anymore. Did you think that this was all an accident – forgetting your clutch and me seeing the tickets? I don't think so – I think subconsciously you just couldn't wait to ask me to that game."_

And the sexy thoughts disappeared as I listened to the self-righteous woman on the other end of the line… It reminded me that I had a job to do and taking Ashley to that game was part of it.

"Alright… meet me at the main entrance at 3PM tomorrow. Don't be late!"

 _"Ashley Davies is never late."_

 _Hmm_ … I wondered how I could use _that_ little tidbit to my advantage…

* * *

I was nervous. I'd changed my outfit about a dozen times, and couldn't find anything remotely appealing to wear to the game. I wanted to be comfortable, yet look alluring enough that Ashley would still want to be with me after the game - after I'd pulled some stints to try and, well, piss her off. I'd never done something like that on purpose. By accident – millions of times in my lifetime. But I wasn't the kind of person to willingly upset other people. So this was going to be quite the challenge. There was only one thing I could think of that would help me pull this off. I just had to remind myself that this was my ticket to get away from the How-To's. And that Ashley was way too smug and had to come back down to earth a little. Just a smidge… I kind of liked her angelic features…

"This is number sixty – just to round them off."

Her voice startled me. I spun around and my jaw dropped as I took in the beauty of Ashley Davies. She could make flannel pajamas look sexy.

Dressed in pretty much the same as myself – a Yankees jersey, tight-fitting jeans, and chucks, she looked amazing. And in her hand, extended towards me, was a single, red rose.

She smiled as my eyes finally met hers. "You look cute," she chuckled.

 _Well_ … I refrained from rambling on how hot _she_ looked.

"You look cute yourself," I finally settled. Taking the rose, I raised my brows. "You only sent fifty-nine?"

Ashley frowned playfully. "You didn't count them?"

I grinned. "I'm a writer, not an Accountant."

I was rewarded with a hearty laugh. "Touché."

 _God, I love her laugh…_

"Shall we?" Ashley grabbed my hand and pointed towards the line of people queuing into the stadium. I couldn't help but feel warm inside at her touch.

"Let's go watch the Yanks kick some Tigers' ass," I agreed, allowing myself to be led to the line.

* * *

It's been an intense game. It was already dark out, and people were on the edge of their seats. I wasn't sure whether the goosebumps I had came from the very slight chill of the night, Ashley's arm brushing against mine, or the build-up to the bottom of the last inning. It was a tie, and with Detroit Tigers unable to put a score on the board with the top of inning, it was up to our team to save the day.

The Tigers were all already out on the field, warming up in their positions. I remembered playing softball back in high school and college – if my brother, Glen, hadn't stolen all the sporting talent in our family, I'd probably have loved to become a professional athlete instead of a writer. But here I was… about to flip the switch on the gorgeous brunette music producer right next to me, and creatively writing about the crazy experience with the skills of the masters degree I have obtained from NYU. It was the life, people!

"Ash?" I figured using her name in its shortened version would sound more.. _endearing_. We had been smooching all day, after all.

She seemed taken aback, but glanced over at me. "Yeah?"

The crowd went wild as the first batsman for the New York Yankees came up. All we needed was one run.

My voice and thoughts were drowned out by the excitement. "I'm really thirsty."

I wasn't sure if she'd heard me through the bustle around us. I haven't even noticed that I was up on my feet, along with the rest of the Yankees supporters in the stadium.

"Can you get me a Coke? Please?"

"Of course, sweetie, right after this we can get you something," Ashley replied, her eyes glued to the batter on the field. The pitcher for the Tigers was getting ready for his first pitch.

It killed me to do this. "No, I can't – I really need something now, my throat is raw," I whined.

Ashley stared at me, her mouth agape.

I almost felt bad. "It's okay, I'll go get it," I shrugged, pushing past her.

But those beautiful strong hands were on my arms before I could get anywhere.

"No, you stay and watch, I'll go get it!" she shouted through the noise of the excited crowds. I could see she wasn't happy, and that it took a lot of internal convincing to leave at the most crucial point of the game to go get me a soda.

"With lots of ice please," I added as she left. Whether she heard that or not, I wasn't too sure.

When Ashley finally returned after about fifteen minutes, there have been no progress on the scoreboard. We have lost two batsmen and chances were very small that the game would end on nine innings. However, we've filled two of the three bases, and if our last batsman could just hit the ball slightly out of reach…

Ashley was ecstatic to be back with my soda without having missed too much of the game.

I was slightly disappointed – by the time we got home my stint would be long forgotten. I had to up my game. I took a sip of the soda and pulled a face.

Ashley noticed immediately and looked at me quizzically.

I leaned towards her and pointed to the soda cup. "It's not diet."

I dared to look at her expressions and almost chuckled. Ashley looked cute when she was flustered and frustrated. She groaned, and pausing to watch a pitch being missed, and waiting to hear the umpire yell _strike_ , she finally ran off to the concession stands again.

I couldn't help but giggle and take huge gulps of the ice cold Coke, perfectly fine for me to sip on during the heated moments of an attempt of a nine-inning game with a possible win for the Yankees.

And seconds later, we did get that win, within the standard nine innings. James Leery had executed a beautiful grand slam, marking the game as noteworthy to go down in history. I haven't seen a home run with fully loaded bases in years. Not to mention being a walk-off.

I found myself jumping up and down with the crowds around me. It was such a great moment. All I needed now was someone to hug. Someone in the form of Ashley Davies.

 _Ashley…_

She had just missed a crucial moment in baseball history.

She wasn't only going to be pissed. I had to prepare myself mentally to go and find a new candidate for my article straight after this game, because I had a feeling that my experimental fling with the hot brunette was going to be over. And for some reason I couldn't help but feel slightly sad about the thought of it…


	9. How To: Keep calm when the switch flips

**Ashley**

 **How To : Keep calm when the switch flips**

This day couldn't have gone any better. I was surprisingly in my element – something I haven't felt in a long time. I hadn't _dated_ someone in a long time. I wasn't really sure if this thing with Spencer constituted as dating _per se_ , but I guess it was as close as it could get. I mean, maybe if there wasn't so much at stake, I could've considered taking it further, but I just really needed to get the Josie Hemmingway deal so badly. I needed a new take on things, a new perspective, I needed things to change. The thing with the blonde was just an added bonus. Well, until she just interrupted my jumble of thoughts and hopes for a win for the Yankees with a pout.

"I'm really thirsty."

It took a second for the words to sink in. I mean, we were in the most heated moment of baseball history – the Yanks haven't won the Tigers on home turf in ages. Detroit was our biggest rival.

With the last bottom inning to go, the excitement in the air was electrifying. We were all on our feet, waiting for the first batsman to take the field. I could faintly make out several versions of _"Take me out to the ball game"_ being sung by thousands of spectators. And here was this beautiful blonde, staring at me as if I hadn't heard her. I really wished I _hadn't_.

"Can you get me a Coke? Please?"

I was somewhat stunned. _Now?_ Of all times, right _now_? "Of course, sweetie, right after this we can get you something," I finally replied, my eyes drifting back to the batter on the field. We were about to receive the first pitch.

"No, I can't – I really need something now, my throat is raw," she complained.

I frowned. This was different. Where had the sexy, poised Spencer disappeared to?

I watched her face for any indication that she might be joking. But she was very serious. "It's okay, I'll go get it," she shrugged, pushing past me.

I immediately felt like an idiot. Of _course_ she'd be thirsty – between kissing and cheering for hours, who wouldn't be? I just couldn't understand why _now_. But I set aside my slight frustration and grabbed her arms. I wouldn't let her get her own drinks! Not while everybody was out in the stands and it was dark out, leaving the concession areas eerie. Who knew what kind of loners lurked there.

"No, you stay and watch, I'll go get it!" I gave in, hoping I could make it back in time before anything major happened. We still had time. There was time, I tried to console myself.

"With lots of ice please," I heard her add as I took off.

When I finally made it to the concessions, all I could smell was peanuts and popcorn. Any other time it would've been nice to take it all in, but right now I was in a hurry.

"One large Coke please, with ice," I placed the order, my eyes drifting to the overhead screen, displaying a live feed of what was happening on the field. I cringed as I realized we had lost one batsman. _Fuck!_ Things didn't look too good.

"Here you go ma'am," the young attendant announced, sliding the cup across the counter.

I threw some money onto the counter, not really caring about the change, and sprinted back to our seats, the Coke high above my head as I dodged the excited spectators jumping around.

When I reached Spencer, my heart fluttered as she gave me a grateful smile. It fluttered even more when I realized we were still in the game. Still only one batsman out. Two bases loaded. We only needed one run. _One_. This was incredibly exciting. It was the first time I'd watched a live game with a date. Correction – first time I watched a _game_ with a _date_. These things didn't happen often! Dating was overrated!

From the corner of my eye I watched her take a sip, expecting her to smile, but instead, her face turned into a scowl. _Fuck, what now?_

Spencer leaned towards me and shyly pointed to the cup. "It's not diet!"

I found it hard to contain my irritation. _Really_? She couldn't just drink the normal Coke? For the sake of the most important game – _live_ game – right in front of us? I was frustrated. Things were getting heated out on the field. There was a strike, and I swallowed hard, torn between staying and keeping Spencer happy. _Think Josie Hemmingway contract!_

With a heavy sigh, I felt my feet move and I soon found myself back at the concession stands. Eyes glued to the same screen. My heart was thumping hard against my chest as James Leery stepped onto the field. Last batsman. Bases fully loaded. I could see the excited crowds in the background. I could hear them. Feel them. This was it, the moment of truth. A truth that really sucked. While standing within the confines of the stadium walls, I was missing the greatest game of the century. How more ironic could that be? Was this payback because I was using Spencer to get the job with Josie Hemmingway? Probably.

My own voice sounded foreign as I jumped up and down after James Leery hit a home run. A grand slam. A walk-off! And here I was… Inside, missing it.

I grunted, grabbing the diet Coke. Oh how I wished it was laden with alcohol right now…

* * *

I met Spencer just outside the stadium, where we had met up earlier upon arrival. She seemed slightly upset.

 _Upset?!_ She had no reason to be upset – if anyone had to be upset, it should be me! My inner rantings were abruptly put on hold as I stared at her pout. She must have seen the angry look on my face.

"I'm sorry you missed it," she apologized quietly.

I wanted to yell at her. Wring her neck. And leave her at the stadium and forget about her. But I stopped myself. Spencer wasn't going to stick around if I went off on her now. Maybe she just _really_ needed that diet Coke _that_ badly. I really needed that Josie Hemmingway contract _that_ badly.

This was difficult. How could such a perfect day turn into such a disaster so quickly? _Suck it up Davies. Think about Hemmingway._

It took a lot of effort, but I managed a soft smile. "It's okay, don't stress about it. Maybe next time?" I grabbed her hands and squeezed them tightly, trying to reassure her that I _wanted_ a next time. The tiny notion seemed to have worked. Her face lit up and finally a smile curved her mouth.

I couldn't understand how this was the same Spencer who acted all childlike during the game. The woman standing in front of me was heartbreakingly gorgeous. _Stay focused, Davies!_

"Will I see you again?" she asked hopefully.

I chuckled. "Of course! You're not getting rid of me _that_ easily!" I hoped I didn't come across as desperate. Ashley Davies didn't do desperate. Not even for the job.

Spencer was back to herself by the time we flagged down a cab for her. "I'll call you," she smiled, planting a soft kiss on my lips as I held the passenger door open for her.

"You better, Spencer Carlin."

* * *

 _"So how come when I reach out my fingers, it seems like more than distance between us…"_

Arthur skipped the sample track. "Terrible. Redo."

I watched him pace up and down in the boardroom across the hall from his spacious office. It had not been a good day so far. He'd been trashing all our sample tracks that we'd worked on the previous week. The Carmens had been on the receiving end so far. I was still waiting for my turn to be scolded.

 _"I'll build a city that dreams for two. And if you lose yourself… I will find you…"_

"Appalling! People, what is going on here? Am I not paying you enough to do – "

Beth, his secretary, knocked on the door and stuck in her head. "I'm sorry sir, but there's a phone call for Miss Davies."

I swallowed hard. Arthur was already not in a good mood. "Uhm, please take a message, Beth?"

She blushed. I'd noticed that she _always_ blushed around me. Hmm… "Miss Davies, it's Spencer."

 _Oh God_. This was _so_ embarrassing. The entire boardroom party stared at me. Including Arthur. His facial features turned from outraged to just slightly annoyed, and I realized that he obviously remembered our agreement. "Make it quick, Davies, I don't have all day."

I grabbed the phone on the table and held the earpiece to my ear before I pressed _Line 2_ to let the call through.

"Hello?" I answered cautiously.

 _"It's me, love!"_

What the _fuck?_ I nearly had a heart attack. Was that _Spencer Carlin_? "Listen, I'm in the middle of a meeting, can I call you back later?" I tried really hard to compose myself.

 _"I miss you honey,"_ she whispered seductively. _"Guess what I'm wearing…"_

I nearly choked as vivid images of a possibly semi naked, and then a _very_ naked Spencer swam across my mind. "You know what, I miss you too…" I lowered my voice, cringing from embarrassment. Everybody was staring at me. Arthur's annoyance turned up a notch.

 _"Are you busy tonight, babe?"_ My mind was stuck on things I wanted to do to her in my bed.

"Uh, no, I'm not. Why don't we catch a movie or something?" Every word coming out of my mouth was killing my reputation. M&M smiled at me, clearly enjoying my humiliation. Aiden and Sean had their heads hanging low, and I knew they were going to grind me afterwards. Arthur… well, Arthur looked completely livid.

 _"Really? Can I choose?"_ Spencer sounded overly excited. I wondered when was the last time that someone had taken her out on a date. It sounded like… _never_.

"Of course you can. But I've got to go now, okay? I'll call you later." I didn't want to sound rude, but the longer I stayed on the line, the longer it was going to take to recover from this completely awkward incident.

 _"Okay, love ya, bye!"_

Color me dumbstruck…

* * *

"I swear, Aid, the one minute she's all gorgeous and gosh, you don't even _want_ to know the things that run through my head. And then it's as if she flips a switch and turns into this clingy bimbo!"

I flopped down on the couch in my office, rubbing my temples furiously. The meeting had gone brutal after Spencer's phone call. Arthur had rejected every single sample I'd given him. Including my ideas that I had for the demo I had to do for Josie Hemmingway. I was convinced that he did it all just out of spite, in order to make me suffer for that cringe worthy phone call.

Aiden laughed at my expense. "Come on, Ash, it can't be _that_ bad. You've known her for what, like, three days?"

I let out a sigh. "Sometimes it feels like three days too many."

"You have to suck it up, babe. There's a lot at stake for you."

I sat up, staring at Aiden. "Don't you think I _know_ that?"

"Look, it's not forever, okay? Maybe she'll surprise you tonight."

That was what I was scared of. _Spencer_ and _surprises_ in the same sentence absolutely terrified me. "Where's Sean with my aspirin?" I suffered migraine attacks regularly, especially when I was stressed out.

"I'm here, boss," Sean announced, stepping into my office. He giggled as he handed me the tablets, and exchanged a loving glance with Aiden over my head. I knew they were hitting it off. They just didn't want me to know. I was curious to know who was the male in their relationship.

"Okay, get your asses out of here and go check out the notes I made on Josie's track," I urged my sound engineers out of the office. I couldn't deal with their lovey-dovey-ness right now. Not when things with Spencer was so weird.

* * *

I felt much better by the time I arrived at the movies. The migraine was gone, and so was the humiliation of the day. I couldn't help but stare as Spencer made her way over to me. Dressed in a blue halter dress, and her hair hanging loose over her shoulders, she was breathtaking. The blue in the dress brought out the color in her eyes. I was lost as I stared into her eyes as she approached me.

"Wow, Ash, you look amazing," she breathed out, surprising me. _I_ looked amazing? I was clad in my usual dark attire – boots, black worn jeans, white vest, and my leather jacket.

"So do _you_ , beautiful," I purred huskily, pulling her close to me. I couldn't help it. She was so incredibly hot. I cupped her cheeks and gave her a deep kiss, which, surprisingly, she returned.

I was astonished at how things could get so heated so quickly between us. Spencer Carlin just did things to me that I would never admit to anyone else.

"So," I finally pulled away. "Have you decided what you wanted to watch?" I stared up at the posters, squirming at the fact that there were only romantic comedies screening for the night. I was really hoping to catch _American Sniper_. Or _Need for Speed. Oh, well…_

"Oh my gosh, I just _loooove_ Misty, don't you?" Spencer exclaimed rather loudly.

I sank down in my seat a little, hoping she'd be keeping the talking to a minimum. Maybe this was why no-one ever took her on movie dates.

A nudge in my side and I realized Spencer was waiting for a reply. _Seriously?_ "I'm kind of a Colby fan," I whispered politely.

We ended up watching _Girltrash!_ I've seen some of the webisodes before, but it wasn't really my thing. Apparently Spencer truly enjoyed it.

 _"…But I like my fantasies… See, in fantasies you don't have to deal with the real person…"_

 _Hmm, touché, Misty_. I nearly chuckled out loud at the thought.

"What are you thinking about?" Spencer asked again, turning slightly so she could face me.

I was starting to panic a little as several ladies behind us hushed her. And when I said ladies, I meant the big, butchy kind. "I'm just trying to watch the movie," I whispered.

Spencer didn't even try to keep her voice down. "Yeah, but what's on your mind?"

"Shh!" That came from directly behind us.

"I like this movie," I tried again, hoping Spencer would give it a rest.

"Or… you really like _her_ , don't you?" she accused me. Loud.

 _"Keep quiet!" "Shut up!" "Keep your voices down!"_

 _Oh, God, please help me…_

"Who are you _talking_ about?" my own whispers were now gaining volume. I wondered briefly if Spencer was bipolar and maybe her medication had worn out.

" _Her_! _Colby_! I can see the way you're looking at her!"

This was getting really ridiculous. "Spence, are you being serious right now?"

 _"Hey, shut it!" "Keep your girl's trap shut!"_

 _Whoa, what?!_

I spun around in my seat, trying to find the source of that last comment. I could take a lot of things, but nobody spoke about my girl like that! But Spencer beat me to it. Apparently the girl right behind me had left the crude remark. She was one of those _ladies_ I have mentioned before…

"Hey, if _you_ don't shut up, my girlfriend will kick your ass, okay?"

 _Oh no Spencer, you didn't…_

I gulped as the girl got up, towering above us. "You want to take this outside?"

I didn't really have a choice, as all the other patrons were now irate, and we were caught up in an embarrassing scene. I _hated_ drama. I got up too, and tugged Spencer's arm. "Come on, Spence, let's get out of here." I wasn't planning on taking the girl on, I just really wanted to get out of yet another humiliating occurrence for the day.

We just stepped outside the cinema doors, when I realized our lady friend was waiting for us.

I stepped in front of Spencer, immediately feeling a yearning to protect her. "Listen, I apologize for interrupting the movie back there, but we're leaving, so you can go back and enjoy it."

"What's the point? Your girl with her big mouth already ruined it for me!" the girl exclaimed.

I took a step backwards, pushing Spencer further back. The girl was rather… huge. As in, muscled, and tall, and clenching her fists. "Don't you dare talk about her – "

"Ash, just let it go," Spencer whispered in my ear. "She'll kill you!"

That just fueled me more. I might be small, but I had some fighting skills. I silently thanked my parents for sending me to Karate classes when I was younger. What I failed to mention was that they also taught me never to get into fights.

"No, she owes you an apology, Spence." I turned around to give Spencer some reassurance.

Turning back towards the girl, I was about to ask politely that she apologize, but instead, she _impolitely_ knocked me down. I crashed back into Spencer, and for a brief moment, everything went blank…


	10. How To: Take care of a migraine

**A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Hope you all had a splendid New Year's celebration :)**

 **desiree rossouw1 – CH8: Yes, it is based on the movie, I'm trying to add a bit of my own flair to it, hoping I will succeed! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **Guest – CH8: Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **TheLastShip – CH1/9: Thank you! I really appreciate the reviews and I'm glad it's keeping you excited. As much as I want to get to the end of the story to satisfy everyone (and myself), I also want to prolong it for as long as I can – after all, we didn't know the thoughts going through the characters' heads during the movie, which I'm trying to plot into my version a little, just to keep it more interesting.**

 **Guest – CH9: Thank you, I hope that the new chapters will be as good and keep you coming back for more!**

 **Guest – CH1: I had a lot of mixed feelings regarding your review, and after sleeping on it (a whole couple of nights), I think it is now safe to say that I do not fully agree with your review/opinion. My guess is that you also followed up with the CH9 review straight after, claiming Ashley as a pushover and that I'm not a good writer. I'm not too sure why you would claim that I'm not a good writer as good writing constitutes of more than just the storyline – good writing also concerns spelling and grammar and for English being my second language, I honestly (despite a whole lot of errors even I picked up) don't think your statement is fair. The storyline is based off a movie, so there is already a set outline for the characters. Though the idea is to rewrite the set outline into something different, I still needed to keep some familiarity to give the readers the feeling that they're reading what they've seen on the movie. Or something like that. Again, based on what I'm doing, I don't think your statement is fair. The chapters you've read so far is the mere beginning where there are still character building – and it will be like that throughout the story. Maybe the next chapters (having kept in mind your concern about Ashley being a pushover) will explain some things about the character's willingness to being easily manipulated. Oh, and the favoritism part… I cannot argue with you there, Spencer is my favorite character for this particular story, and the genre. She was also deliberately the main character in my other fic. But if you** ** _do_** **decide to continue reading my fics (maybe to see if my writing improves), maybe there will be another story in the near future where my hero will be the much loved Ashley Davies. I always have one stronger character – it's my writing style.**

 **Guest – CH1: Unfortunately due to technical difficulties I cannot see your review on either the mobile app or website; though on the e-mail notification I received, the review was : !**

 **Though I have many (maybe witty, maybe sarcastic) comebacks for that, I'm assuming for all purposes that it was just a finger error. But thanks for reading anyway :)**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To : Take care of a migraine**

 _Oh no, no, no, no, no!_

I hadn't counted on the rather tall, muscled girl to follow us out of the cinema. In fact, she was already outside by the time we got through the double doors.

Ashley immediately stepped between myself and the larger girl, her over protectiveness making my knees go weak. I loved this side of Ashley.

"Listen, I apologize for interrupting the movie back there, but we're leaving, so you can go back and enjoy it," I heard Ashley tell the girl.

"What's the point? Your girl with her big mouth already ruined it for me!" the girl exclaimed.

Despite taking a step back, Ashley was furious. "Don't you _dare_ talk about her – "

My heart was pounding – it didn't look like either of them were going to bury this soon. I felt guilty for being the cause of all the drama.

"Ash, just let it go," I whispered when I saw the girl clenching her fists. "She'll kill you!"

"No, she owes you an apology, Spence." Ashley turned around to give me a small smile of assurance.

But when she turned back, the sly girl already had her fist out, and punched Ashley. Hard. _So_ hard that she fell back into me and knocked us both to the ground.

I was momentarily stunned, and couldn't move. The girl disappeared, thank goodness, and I focused on Ashley, who had blacked out.

"Ash?"

I pulled her into my lap, my hands shaking as I carefully tilted her head, trying to assess the damage.

Relief washed over me as Ashley's eyes fluttered open seconds later.

"Are you okay?" I asked shakily. I wasn't sure what to do; would it be safe to move her? Would it be safe for her to walk? "Should I take you to hospital?"

Ashley surprised me by giving a dreamy smile. "Nah, I'm good." She sat up and rubbed the spot on her eyebrow where that crazy girl had punched her. "Are _you_ okay?"

"Yeah, I – " It suddenly hit me. This was all my fault! "I'm so sorry."

I wasn't sure why she was still defending me. "No, don't you dare, you didn't throw that punch, Spencer!"

That wasn't going to make it any better. I was the _reason_ _behind_ it. I felt terrible for putting Ashley through all of this. I might have thought that she was arrogant and a tad bit too self-confident, but I was having a hard time trying to push her away. I was hardly succeeding – instead of her giving up on me, despite every trick I was trying to pull – she just seemed to want to spend more and more time with me. Like now.

"Let's go back to my place, I think you need a stiff drink, and I might need some ice."

* * *

By the time Ashley had convinced me to take a clean shot of Vodka, and I had Ashley medicated with her migraine tablets and her eye patched with ice, I felt much better. I couldn't really say the same for her – she appeared tired and tense as an obvious migraine had already settled.

I still felt terrible, but the alcohol had taken the edge off, and I was able to stay and look after the beautiful music producer who kept defending my honor. It was sweet of her.

"Can I get you anything?" I whispered after what seemed like hours, not wanting to startle her. We were both lying on our backs on her very comfortable bed, all the lights off. I wasn't intending to stay the night, but I just couldn't get myself to leave either. I wanted to make sure that she was going to be okay.

Ashley groaned _"no"_ and shifted the ice pack on her eye slightly. My head now perched up on one arm as I turned onto my side, I could see her perfectly with the hint of moonlight shining through the sliding doors. My stomach was doing flip-flops when I realized just how beautiful she really was. In the haste of getting her settled, I haven't even registered that I'd gotten her down into boxer shorts, and just a simple tank top. The moonlight was glistening off her smooth skin, making it easy for my eyes to trace over every curve, from her feet all the way up to her face. Ashley's stomach was taut, and it took everything in me to refrain from dragging my fingers over her firm abs. Her breasts were perfect – even underneath clothing. Her neck was just right for her. Exposed beautifully for me to leave my mark on her, but I fought myself from becoming borderline psychotic. Even her clenched jaw was beautiful, so was her nose, and slightly furrowed brows. Her eyes were now closed, having previously stared at the roof – probably fighting the headache – and her mouth was curved slightly. I was sure it was a tiny smile breaking through what I could only imagine was a painful throbbing.

A wistful sigh escaped me as I watched her breathing slowing down until it was evident Ashley was in a deep slumber. My eyes finally roamed over to her alarm clock, my heart dropping when I realized it was time for me to go. I knew I wasn't going to be able to function at work in a couple of hours. With hardly three hours of sleep available, and endless thoughts about the brunette keeping my senses heightened, it was going to be a long day…

* * *

"I don't think I'm succeeding with this article, Chels."

I waited for my best friend to spin around in her chair and wheel over to me to pep talk me out of my somber mood.

"What are you _talking_ about, Spence? Give me your notes," Chelsea demanded, moving even closer to my desk. If that was at all possible.

I reluctantly handed over my black notebook containing all the progress with Ashley Davies so far. It didn't feel like I'd accomplished much. For every stint I pulled to push her away, Ashley had surprised me by fighting to get even closer. I didn't understand it. How was it possible that the ridiculously hideous things Madison did to Michelle, wasn't working on Ashley? How much more instability was she going to take from me? From ruining that all-important Yanks game, to phoning her every night at 2AM to tell her how guilty I felt after eating tubs of ice cream, to stalking her SoundCloud account and creating my own, with both our names as my handle, and then favoriting all her songs, and finally, embarrassing her at work and ruining the movie _and_ getting her into trouble with that mean bully; and she _still_ wouldn't give up.

"I really thought after getting punched in the face she'd draw the line, but look at this." I grabbed my cell phone from my desk and scrolled to a text message Ashley had sent just mere minutes ago.

 **14:46PM – Ashley Davies: Stop feeling bad about last night. Thank you for looking after me. Care for a homemade dinner and couch tickets to the Yankees game at my place?**

I watched as Chelsea's brows raised and then she burst out in laughter. It was amusing to watch, but not funny at all.

"I think she's got a thing for you, Spence!"

I'd feared as much, but until Chelsea said it out loud, I had tried to push that thought away as far as I possibly could.

"And what is she talking about – you taking _care_ of her?" Chelsea added, rereading the text. I cringed under her stare.

A blush crept into my cheeks and I looked away. "Well, I felt bad after she got punched… so I stayed for a bit…"

Of course it wasn't enough for Chelsea. She wasn't going to drop this. "And?"

I sighed. "And nothing, okay? I iced her eye, and then stayed until she fell asleep, and left. _Nothing_ happened, Chels."

I sensed a heart-to-heart talk about to happen, so I leaned back in my chair and just waited for Chelsea to speak her mind. I was secretly relieved that Madison had gone out to work on her article, or I'd never hear the end of it.

"Spence, you know you're just doing this for an article, right? I mean, after this, you're not planning to take things further with Ashley, are you?"

I snorted. "Of course not! Chels, if she reads this article I will never hear from her again. Besides, Ashley Davies is a pompous player. I don't know why she's not fazed by this. It just doesn't make sense."

"Maybe you're doing it all wrong. You keep returning to be the nice, loving, Spencer every time you've done something to push her away. You need to stop that. Be more relentless. And stop being such a softy!"

I felt frustrated by her words. Chelsea was right, but it was so difficult. Especially with Ashley being so exhilarating and breathtaking and… hot. I even found her very self-centered ego hot. _Spencer Carlin, what have you gotten yourself into?_

"Look, go have dinner at her place tonight. But you need to up your game, Spence. Or Paula will have your ass, and you're going to end up hurting yourself. Do you need some pointers? I could always ask Madison what else she did –"

"No! Oh, God, not a _word_ about this to Madison, please Chelsea, I beg you!" Madison would just end up depressed again, and she'd just regained her confidence. Plus, I definitely didn't want to encourage them discussing this Ashley-thing, not while I was so unsure about it myself. _Just a couple more days, then everything can go back to normal._

"Pull out the big guns tonight, Spencer, or else…"


	11. How To: Prolong a migraine

**Ashley**

 **How To : Prolong a migraine**

"I like where you're going with this, Davies. I'm impressed – _stunned_ , actually. But keep it up. Give it some more thought and tweak a little, and you might just get Josie Hemmingway."

I let out the breath I'd forgotten I was holding in, and felt a victorious smile creep up my face. I knew when Arthur was calm and without the M&M twins joint at his hip, that he would take time to listen to my sound sample, really _listen_ to it, before trashing my work.

I wasn't sure where the new bout of inspiration had come from – I was exhausted, sore, and felt extremely irate. But at the same time, something was tugging at my heart strings, and I really hoped it wasn't a certain some _one_. I couldn't wait to ditch the blonde. That's why, despite feeling low like I did, I worked hard this morning to get a sample to Arthur. Maybe he would agree that the whole agreement regarding Spencer Carlin was silly, and that we could drop it. I didn't need a woman by my side to prove that I could produce love songs.

"So I take it that things with the lady is going well then? Given this inspiring sample of work?"

And just like that, my foul mood was back. "Look, Arthur, I think you're underestimating my competence to produce any kind of music here. I've been one of your most successful producers to date, and you've got to admit that the background and skills that I have is unlike any of your other producers. I don't get why you're stuck on believing that I can't produce love songs."

Arthur shook his head with a smile. I really didn't get it. Didn't he _just_ say that he was impressed? I'd scrapped the entire song that we'd sampled earlier in the week, this entire new composition was done by myself, this _morning_. Normally it took days to do something like that – even with something less meaningful like angry rapping and flat metal. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I didn't put everything into my other work, it was just, I had to prove myself with this contract, and I had to prove _to_ myself, that I could do it. That was why I was pushing so hard. I was doing it for myself.

"I don't think you understand entirely, Ashley. You are a brilliant producer, believe me, I am very well aware of that. The _best_ , even, but let's not blow up that ego too much now. I just don't think you can relay love without knowing what love is."

Would it be awfully rude if I swore at my boss? Or go work for the opposition? How _dared_ he imply that I didn't know what love was?

Arthur knew me too well. After years of working together, and of course, knowing my father personally, he'd known me since I was in diapers. But that didn't mean…

"Ashley, we _both_ know that you're not the commitment type. When was the last time you spent time with a girl, other than flirting with or bedding her? And you don't have to be embarrassed – Raife and Christine doesn't know about your lifestyle in the city. I promised your father to keep an eye on you, but I also respect your privacy."

If there was one thing I hated, then it was this. My parents having to be in my business all the time. I loved them dearly, but growing up just outside New York in a very small town, drove me insane. I couldn't wait to get out of there after graduating from high school. Working with Arthur was unnerving sometimes, knowing he was closer to home than I was, but, I believed him when he said he respected my privacy. My parents knew I was gay, they just didn't know that I didn't particularly enjoy relationships or monogamy, or even sober hookups. I just wasn't interested. Life as a single, free, hot, player was just too good to give up. And with all the money I made, who _wouldn't_ want to live carefree for a while? Or a lifetime?

"So, if you respect my privacy, how come you're in my business all the time? Why are you pushing this thing about the Josie Hemmingway contract?" I was getting more and more frustrated.

Arthur refused to let my foul mood spoil his good mood. "Because I want you to know what love is before you try and tell the world what it is through music. Look, Ashley, it's not that difficult. A lot of girls fall for you. Look at this one, what's her name –"

"Spencer."

"Look at Spencer. It's been how many days? Can you honestly tell me that you're _not_ enjoying spending time with her? Can you honestly tell me that this new sample wasn't _somewhat_ inspired by feelings that _you_ don't generally get to experience?"

I could honestly tell him that I thought Spencer Carlin was bipolar, and needed help. _That_ wasn't inspiring at all. If anything, it was a tasteless, horrible experience. I doubted there was place for love in all the craziness regarding the blonde.

"It's only a couple more days, Ashley. Hang in there, who knows, maybe you'll even thank me in the long run. But it's okay to hate me now, also, because I will not give you Josie Hemmingway if you don't give me the emotions – _and_ confirmation – I'm looking for. Let's see what happens at the gala, agreed?"

 _Do I have any other choice?_

"Fine, Arthur. But let me just warn you that I'm unhappy, and I'm not scared to go to other labels." I knew my threats were fruitless, I enjoyed working with the top record label far too much than to move on to smaller things. Arthur was good that way, getting and keeping all the big musicians we reeled in.

* * *

"Why do I get the feeling that you're going to let your PMS-ing get in the way of our friendship today?"

I threw Aiden a dirty look and grabbed my jacket from the back of my chair, searching for my phone.

"It was a good track, Ash. Give him time, they're not used to your style – "

After furiously typing a text message to the blonde who'd come to ruin my life, I dropped my phone down on my desk and crashed down on my sofa, head in Aiden's lap. "He liked it." I wasn't in the mood to go into all the details, but I knew Aiden was going to pull it all out of me anyway.

"Oh? A run-in with the Carmens then?" He stared down at me and I could faintly make out the badly covered up wrinkles on his forehead and at the sides of his eyes.

"Change your base, Aiden. I can tell your age."

I enjoyed the panic on his face and the fact that I had a male friend who cared more about his image than I did. He was also the only person on this planet who understood me, _really_ understood me.

"Okay, what happened?"

I let out a long, frustrated sigh. "He won't let me ditch the psycho."

"You mean, the really hot blonde who's a tiny bit crazy, who spent the night pampering that nasty eye-job of yours?"

I wished I could channel that punch to _his_ eye. Not only did it hurt like hell, I also had trouble covering it up, resulting in ridiculously fast-spreading rumors and crazy fantasies of how it happened by co-workers. I hadn't realized that we had such creative people in our building.

"Tiny bit crazy hardly justifies it, Aid. She really needs help. How does she go from crazy girlfriend to this caring beautiful woman in the matter of minutes? If I land up in jail, it's not my fault, okay? Just keep in mind all these things I'm telling you for in case."

"I have to hand it to Mendez, she really picked an interesting one, then."

"Can you be any _more_ annoying about this?"

"Ash, come on, just let it be. Give Arthur what he wants, and you'll get it back tenfold. You know how he works."

I felt another migraine rolling in. How I wished I could rewind to the better part of the night where I was so lovingly looked after…

 _Bzzz-bzzz_

That was probably Spencer, most likely accepting my dinner invitation. I didn't even know what I was going to cook. I never cooked for anyone. And though I was tempted to add something to dinner that could possibly cause a smidge of harm to the blonde to get her off my back, I'd rather not take the chance. The safest thing for me right now was to keep it simple. Dinner at home, and hopefully get to watch the game. No lengthy interruptions or any embarrassing moments could happen at home, right?

I got up and grabbed my phone, dreading to check the text message.

 **14:59PM – Crazy Carlin: I'll feel better when I see that you're OK. Would love to come over for dinner, thank you. XOXO**

* * *

I had to remake the rice twice. First time because it got burnt, and the second time after I found myself adding insecticide to it. I was just really discouraged from spending any more time with someone who had multiple personalities _so_ severe I sometimes forgot who _I_ was, and worse, who held the key to _my_ bright future in _her_ beautiful conniving hands.

Why did I ever let the Carmens talk me into this? Why did I ever care about love songs or Josie Hemmingway or changing something good I already had going for me?

Arthur had this all so wrong. While I appreciated him caring about me still being single, I loathed the fact that he thought this was going to change anything. In fact, I was just _more_ certain now that I wasn't losing out on anything. If 'dating' someone like Spencer Carlin was any indication…

I was going to prove them all wrong. Arthur might think that my sample clip was good because of the blonde, but I'd show them at the gala that it wasn't.

The ringing of the doorbell announced the blonde's arrival. As much as I wanted to pretend that I wasn't home, preferring to crawl into bed at the onset of another migraine, I found myself yelling that it was open.

She caught me off guard seconds later, appearing in my peripheral view while I was still slaving away in the kitchen. "Hey…"

I finally looked up, my breath hitching as I took in the beauty of Spencer Carlin. How did she _do_ that?

"Hey! I'll be with you in a couple of minutes – make yourself at home."

It was the best I could offer under the circumstances. All my hatred and irritation went out the door as my eyes roamed her body. She wore a simple floral dress, showing off her tanned arms and legs, in fact, it fit her _so_ nicely it made it extremely difficult to grasp that this was the very same girl who had her own _United States of Tara_ going on. When our eyes finally met, I felt a strange sensation running down my spine.

"I'm glad to see your eye looks better," she admitted with a shy smile. If only she knew how much makeup I had plastered on there.

"It's nothing. I'm a fast healer," I brushed it away, busying myself with the last tidbits of dinner.

Spencer finally stepped out of the kitchen and roamed around my apartment. I didn't really mind, it was safer that we weren't in the same room together for too long. I was either going to kill her or make passionate love to her. While I preferred the latter, I doubted I'd be that lucky.

"Wow, Ash, you really went all out on this!"

I looked up and saw her staring at the dining room table. I'd set the table as best I could, with candles and everything. Anything to set a good mood and not let her discover my immense dislike towards her. It was already overwhelmingly difficult juggling between picturing my hands behind her neck or carefully around her throat.

"So uh, mind if I play around on your iPod?"

I shrugged, not caring about her choice of music. I already disliked her, whatever music she chose couldn't possibly make it any worse. "Sure, go ahead."

Until it did.

 _"Met a girl, thought she was grand, fell in love, found out first hand. Went well for a week or two, then it all came unglued…"_ How the hell did she get to my samples? I sprinted towards her in the living room, grabbed the iPod and stopped the song. _Oh God, she smells so good._

Her wide eyes made me realize I probably owed somewhat of an explanation.

"Was that _you_?"

I blushed. Thank _goodness_ I'd stopped the song before it got more intense. It was, after all, about her…

"Yeah, that was me. I record my own songs but I'm not interested in getting them produced and sold, if that was what you were wondering."

Spencer seemed genuinely surprised. "Why _not_?"

I sighed. Though I didn't get to tell this story very often, it still frustrated me to do so. "I enjoy the producing more. My dad is a retired musician – I don't think I could ever live up to his name, and I wouldn't ever be as good as him. I just don't want to put myself in that spotlight. And like I said… I enjoy the producing more." It felt strange to share this with her. Only a handful of people knew.

"Davies… what's your dad's name?"

And this was why.

"Maybe another time, okay? I just really don't want to go into this right now."

Spencer accepted my excuse and skillfully redirected the conversation. "So what have you got in that oven? It smells good."

I remembered the chicken and rushed back to the safety of the kitchen. Spencer smelled better than any woman I've ever been, well, _close_ to. And that was a _lot_ of women to compare to…


	12. How To: Ignore Love

**A/N : Things are about to get hectic, so hold on! Thanks for all the reads and reviews, follows, and adding my fic and author as favorites!**

 **Please note that the next chapter set might come across as a tad bit offensive to some readers – I apologize in advance! I have nothing against vegetarians, farmers, golfers, chickens, or anyone who suffers from uncomfortable ailments! Everything is purely fictional – except the very last part on Ashley's chapter. That really happened (by accident) – to me. I nearly died!**

 **Guest – CH11: Thank you for the awesome review, it is much appreciated! I'm deviating a bit from the storyline now, just to get something of my own in here – the characters will be going on one hectic rollercoaster ride! So keep on reading, this is merely the beginning :)**

 **ChezzLove – CH11: Thank you for your devoted reviewing! I also loved the theater scene and was very happy to read that my interpretation worked out! And I was absolutely stoked that you got what I'm doing with Ashley's character – I had lots of doubts, and will probably still have, but things are unfolding nicely now, so I hope the reading experience of the next chapters will be pleasant!**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To : Ignore love**

 _Samples? What do we have here?_

I looked at the playlist on Ashley's iPod and scrolled down, absorbing the interesting titles. I wondered if it was samples she was working on for new artists.

My curiosity got the better of me, and I pressed _Play_ when I read " _She Hates Me"_ , smirking at the irony of it. Ashley might listen to that song a whole couple of times when the night was over.

 _"Met a girl, thought she was grand, fell in love, found out first hand. Went well for a week or two, then it all came unglued…"_

I frowned, the voice of the artist sounding dangerously familiar. It clicked the moment I saw movement from the kitchen, and seconds later Ashley was next to me, frantically trying to stop the song.

I stared at her, wide-eyed. Her voice was incredible! "Was that _you_?"

I didn't understand why she had such a deer-in-headlight-look, while her cheeks were flushed bright red. Maybe she was just really shy about her own music.

"Yeah, that was me. I record my own songs but I'm not interested in getting them produced and sold, if that was what you were wondering."

I was dumbfounded. Why would she produce other people's music while she clearly had such outstanding talent? "Why _not_?" I made a mental note to go through her SoundCloud again, maybe some of her samples were uploaded there. I'd be sure to try and find the song I'd just heard!

Ashley gave a weary sigh, as if she'd been repeating her reasons too many times in her lifetime. "I enjoy the producing more. My dad is a retired musician – I don't think I could ever live up to his name, and I wouldn't ever be as good as him. I just don't want to put myself in that spotlight. And like I said… I enjoy the producing more."

My heart suddenly went out to her. I understood where she was coming from, but I wasn't sure she knew exactly how great her own music was. In a weird twisted way, we were almost in similar situations. Except, my parents weren't famous for anything other than raising three very disconnected children. "Davies… what's your dad's name?" I was definitely going to snoop a little.

"Maybe another time, okay? I just really don't want to go into this right now."

 _Or not_. I sensed that this conversation was making her uncomfortable, and decided a change of topic was in order. Besides, I still had some things to do… "So what have you got in that oven? It smells good."

And she was off to the kitchen, leaving me with all kinds of questions I was surely going to bombard her with over dinner. But first…

* * *

I was lucky that Ashley hadn't opened her front door to let me in. It made it easy to hide the box filled with props that would surely drive her mad and finally let me off the hook. I was partly sad that this would most likely be our last night together, but also relieved, because I didn't want to put her through any of my mishaps anymore. I'd really started to like the brunette, despite my earlier stance on her being arrogant and a player. Well, she _was_ still a player, but a nice one…

A sigh escaped my lips as I placed two teddy bears – named _Misty_ and _Colby_ – on the comfortable King-sized bed, reminiscing about last night. I loved taking care of Ashley; she made me feel things I've never felt before – not even with Katherine. I wanted to do all kinds of things for her, and _to_ her. But I had to keep reminding myself that this would never work. I had to choose between Ashley and my job… and right now, a careered future was the only thing I could see in the cards for myself. And that was only possible if I really set my mind to it and did what I came here to do… create havoc in Ashley's apartment and drive her away – for good.

It was conflicting. But I did it anyway. With a slight cringe, imagining how Ashley would feel if she saw this, I rearranged the contents of her bathroom cupboard, misplacing her items to try and squeeze in some of mine. Well, the clinging, crazy Spencer's at least. Pink toothbrush, pink shaver, a handful of topical creams that I wasn't even sure where it was safe to use, and a container with a carefully fabricated label – thanks to Chelsea – indicating I had a severe case of anal itching. Of course, it was only Tylenol inside, but I was pretty sure Ashley would never touch that container with her bare hands.

I squeezed in a vomit green towel in between her black and purple ones, fitted the toilet with a frilly pink seat cover and finished it off with a mismatched off-blue foot mat. And to top it all, decorated the top of the toilet with a handful of _Golfers Digest_ , since Ashley had a passionate hate for the sport. I had to agree with her there – if I had to find one of these magazines in my own apartment I'd burn the place down and move states.

I didn't want to do too much in her living area since we'd be spending time there for a while and I didn't want Ashley to know what I was up to. Given the already awkward moment with her iPod, I refrained from filling it with sappy love songs by female country artists.

If none of these things were enough to really piss off Ashley Davies, then all I had left was personal performance. It was going to be hard, but had to be done…

* * *

Her proud smile almost made me abort my mission. _Almost_.

Ashley placed a plate in front of me, dishing up rice, roasted vegetables, and glazed chicken. My mouth started watering and I reprimanded myself for not eating something at home. Because despite how really delicious Ashley Davies' cooking looked…

"Oh, shit…" I forced a tear from my eye, silently thanking Madison for the toothpaste-trick. I'd held it open in front of my eyes for a while before rejoining Ashley, waiting for the burning to settle so it could generate some much needed fake tears.

Ashley's smile faltered. "What? What is it?"

"I'm so sorry…"

"Spencer, what's wrong?"

She stopped dishing up, the panic in her voice breaking my heart. _You have to do this, Carlin!_

"The chicken… it looks… I'm sorry, I can't," I pushed my chair back and turned away from the food, ignoring the disagreeing angry rumbling of my stomach.

Ashley knelt down beside me and lifted my chin. When our eyes met, all I wanted to do was kiss her and devour her. And then the food. And then her again.

"Spencer?"

"I… I grew up on a farm. We ate the chickens we raised… so uhm…" Well, my very Catholic mother would be happy to learn that I was a compulsive liar. If I wasn't already disowned, now was the time.

"My favorite one's name was Chicklet, and I swear she had a twin, Chuckles. They really looked alike. Even when, you know, they were dished up…"

I was engulfed in a tight, protective hug before I could even fabricate more tears.

"Oh my gosh, Spencer, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't even think to ask – " Ashley consoled me, refusing to let go. Her hand had found the small of my back and she was rubbing comforting circles to soothe my very traumatic chicken-eating childhood.

"It's okay," I mumbled into her shoulder, savoring the moment for as long as I could. Ashley wore her famous CK One. It filled me with insane lust for her.

Sadly, the moment finally passed, and as Ashley pulled back, I wiped at my eyes, not to dry them but to invoke some more tears. It had to be _some_ what believable, didn't it?

I noticed her staring at me carefully. "I'm really sorry, Spencer. Shall we go grab something else before the game starts? Do you eat Chinese?"

I'd forgotten all about the game! There was no way I was going to miss it, especially not pass the opportunity to watch it on Ashley's big screen, on a comfortable sofa, cuddled into her. That was the only good thing I was allowing myself to have for the night.

"Okay, let's go."

* * *

I _hated_ Chinese food.

So when Ashley took a break from guzzling up her foreign soup, and noticed I'd barely touched mine, that same, incredibly beautiful, chocolate brown, concerned eyes stared at me. Her brows were furrowed and I could see she was trying to find words.

"Are you okay?"

I was about to answer when the waiter made his appearance. "Everything okay here? Can I get you anything else?"

Ashley smiled politely at him and shook her head, indicating that she was fine. When his gaze landed on me, I let out a heavy sigh, and prayed for another tear to drop.

"I… I can't eat this… my girlfriend already thinks I'm fat."

" _What_?" _Finally!_ Was this all it had to take to get _some_ worked up emotion out of the brunette?

A set of big, brown eyes stared at me, while several other patrons stared at Ashley. _Oops, that wasn't a whisper!_

"Spencer, I never said you were fat!" Ashley exclaimed, her confusion and defense chipping at my heart.

"You didn't have to – I know when people offer you soup – " I had no idea where that analogy came from, but it worked. Ashley jumped up from her chair and paced, without saying a word.

It was unnerving.

"Can we get the bill, please?" she finally asked the waiter, who was still too shocked to move.

"Certainly."

When Ashley sat down again, her gaze was on me, and I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat, wishing away the hurt and confusion in her eyes. I just wanted this to be over already.

"Your bill, ma'am."

Ashley paid for the meal and got up, surprising me by extending her hand towards me. I was wary of her behavior, but more ashamed of my own.

"Let's go watch that game, I have a feeling the Yanks will make our day."


	13. How To: Recognize Love

**Ashley**

 **How To : Recognize love**

I was flabbergasted. But not surprised. The hair in my neck prickled as I felt several sets of eyes on me. _This is not embarrassing, at all…_

"Spencer, I never said you were fat!" I didn't mean for it to come out in such a high-pitched shriek. But I was at breaking point. Spencer's behavior was really driving me insane. And more than anything, it was confusing. I made a point of it to find out if she really had some personality disorder. In a subtle way, of course. And when there were no-one around to stare at us.

"You didn't have to – I know when people offer you soup – "

It was the craziest thing I've ever heard. Either Spencer's masters degree had some loopholes in it, or she was taking me for a ride on that one too. I jumped up, feeling the need to channel my anger to my legs. Strangling her in public wouldn't go down that well for me.

"Can we get the bill, please?" I finally asked the waiter, who was still rooted in place. _Don't worry, dude, I didn't expect this either…_

"Certainly."

After he left, I sat down again, staring intently at the blonde mess in front of me. There had to be a logical explanation for her behavior. My heart broke a little when she looked up at me, her eyes filled with uncertainty and regret. It made me want to scoop her up in my arms again and hold her tight.

"Your bill, ma'am."

I sighed and paid for the wasted meal. I was ready to go home and forget about this night, forget about this stunning but absurdly crazy blonde. But when my eyes accidentally met hers, again, I couldn't help but feel the need to protect her from whatever vulnerability she was hiding from. Maybe if things calmed down a little we could talk about her problem, like adults. The idea of that kind of closeness scared me, but the unknown at this moment, scared me more.

I reached out for her hand, bracing myself for the personality I would be taking back home. "Let's go watch that game, I have a feeling the Yanks will make our day."

* * *

We never talked. We never watched the game. We never saw the Yanks lose pathetically to the lowest ranking team of the season. I barely noticed the subtle changes in my room; teddy bears on my pillows, a puce colored quilt at the foot point of my bed, a skewed painting… Not that it mattered anyway.

What mattered was the semi-naked blonde writhing underneath me, her soft moans causing my hands to touch every inch of her body in fervor. She was exquisite. I slowed down to a pace where my fingers lazily traced over her delicate rib cage, goosebumps following every part of skin I touched. Her eyes were squeezed shut, a satisfied smile playing on her lips as I continued my ministrations. Every fiber in my very existence was screaming at me to make her howl my name in ecstasy.

But I couldn't.

I wanted to talk. I wanted to know what had prompted her outbursts tonight, and every other night. And I wanted to know what had her in such a frenzy to push me up against my own front door, devouring my lips, pulling at every heartstring and touching every nerve as she mapped out my own semi-naked body with her skillful tongue.

We were both down to our underwear the minute we stepped into my apartment. She was sneaky.

My attention back to the present, I couldn't help but revel in her beauty. She was intoxicating. Very fucking crazy. But so sexy. And alluring.

I took a deep breath and lowered my mouth to hers, enjoying the hitch of her own breath as our lips touched. I breathed oxygen into her and felt her come to life, kissing me with a passion that hasn't been there before. In the beginning it was lust. Now it was… love. _Love?_

I pulled back, shocked. It couldn't be. Ashley Davies did not give or receive love. I refused both.

I noticed her frown, then a second later, her eyelids fluttered and two blue orbs stared up at me, laced with so much emotion it scared me. This is why people run. People like me. I enjoyed the simplicity of life, simplicity of people. I wasn't _completely_ heartless, just a very fierce protector of my own. Women like Spencer Carlin could so easily work their way in there and pluck at those strings, playing melodies made for two. But those strings were sensitive, fragile. The 9 gauge especially. It could snap so easily if not played right.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly. The vulnerability I'd seen earlier was still visible in her blue eyes.

Maybe she was as scared. Maybe even more than I was, given the multiple personalities condition. If it was _this_ confusing for me, I couldn't even begin to imagine how it must have felt for her.

"I should go," Spencer finally announced, her voice still soft. I knew it was still _her_ , the sensible one, by the tone and shakiness in her voice.

And as much as I wanted her to stay, I knew I needed time to digest all of this. I felt the sudden need to write a song, compose a bit, work on Josie's music.

So, disappointingly, I didn't stop her, but my heart warmed at the lit-up smile on her face when I told her I'd call her. I really wanted to see her again.

I wanted to see what this whole 'love'-thing was all about…

* * *

I wanted to kill her.

Bile rose up in my throat as I stared at a container, the color seeping from my face as my eyes scanned over the label. _Spencer Carlin… Take 3 daily after meals… For severe itching increase dosage by 50mg._

A mixture of last night's dinner – the Chinese corn soup – and several cups of coffee while working, came up faster than I could reach the toilet bowl. While already sick to the stomach, I tried to remember where her hands had been.

 _Oh, God, she touched me! My hair! My face!_

It took over an hour for me to recover from the nausea and finally pull myself together to get up from the bathroom floor. I'd considered calling in sick, but I had to get my reworked sample to Arthur. I was sure that the final changes I've made was what he was looking for. It was what the whole world was _waiting_ for.

I turned a blind eye to the chaos in my bathroom cupboard, specifically avoiding a certain container, and started getting ready for work. As seconds ticked by, my senses had picked up on several things out of place, and it pushed me to a dangerous edge. My fingers were itching, and a migraine was rolling in. But I avoided it all – I had migraine tablets at work. I'd get a new cupboard after work, and new contents, and just burn whatever was in the current one. The same with the towels. Whoever came up with such a vomit green?

The queasiness started fading and slowly the anger returned as my eyes finally landed on the top of the toilet. _Golfers Digest? Are you fucking kidding me?_

That was it. I was done. Spencer Carlin was done.

* * *

"Ash, are you sure you're alright? You look a bit pale over there."

If Aiden had to remind me _one_ more time that I looked sick, I was going to vomit all over him. I hadn't told anyone about what I'd found, for fear of my dignity, and also not being able to control the nausea. But I _did_ tell Aiden about the latest craziness, Spencer's fear for eating chicken, the soup incident, and of course, very limited detail about our making out session.

"I'm good, Aiden. I just really need some migraine tablets. Are you sure I don't have any left?" Today was killing me. Even after much praise from Arthur after hearing my improved sample, I didn't feel much better than this morning.

"I've looked everywhere. It's time for you to see the doctor again anyway. You've been getting far too much headaches lately."

I could really not believe how oblivious he was. " _Really_ , Aiden? Is the new base blocking your pores, backing up all your brain cells into a corner?" He should know by now any makeup insults was my way of telling him that I was about to crack up. "Have you _not_ noticed that the headaches increased after I was bullied into this huge fucking blonde mess?"

"Ash – "

"No, don't _Ash_ me. Just… _please_ , get Sean or _anybody_ to get me something for this headache. And nausea. Or I'm throwing up on you, I swear – "

He jumped up from my office chair – I was man down on my office sofa. "Okay, okay, I'm on it! Just keep it in lady, geez!" He was kind enough to place the wastebasket on the floor next to me – just for in case.

"Thank you," I mumbled weakly, closing my eyes as he left my office.

* * *

"Ash? Are you okay?"

Warm, soft hands touched my arm, then my damp forehead, and I found myself groaning, irate that I was being waken up.

It took a while for the voices around me to submerge from underwater, clearing up enough for me to distinguish who it belonged to.

Not a second later I jolted and grabbed onto the trashcan for dear life, emptying my already empty stomach when I recognized her voice, her touch. On me.

I was ready to die. Really. This had been enough.

"How long has it been going on for?"

"The whole day. She must have passed out when I left to go pick up her prescription. What the hell did you eat last night?"

"Well… uhm, she cooked – oh, we didn't eat that. We went for Chinese – she had corn soup."

"Did you eat any of it?"

"No, no I didn't. Do you think it's food poisoning?"

 _It's you, Spencer, it's you!_ I wanted to scream at her, but couldn't get myself to partake in their conversation or speak my mind. I was just simply too weak to fight them.

Aiden stepped closer and inspected my face. "Well, we're definitely cancelling poker night."

I couldn't even insult his makeup, even though I desperately wanted to.

"Shouldn't we get her to a doctor?"

I wasn't going anywhere with her. If she touched me – how was I going to explain this to Aiden?

" _You_ try tell her that." Aiden didn't play sarcasm well.

"Ash?"

I groaned again, fearful that the dry heaving was going to continue if she came any closer to me. Spencer seemed to get the message and kept her distance. I stared up at her, my emotions running away with me. Why? _Why_ , Spencer Carlin? Why was she so beautiful and so soft and so caring – I'd give _any_ thing to be in the comfort of her arms right now – but at the same time she was the scariest, craziest woman on the planet… with an ass itch. _Why_? Why _me_?

I haven't realized that the tears were flowing freely. I haven't realized her hand was cupping my cheek, wiping away the tears with her thumb, the other hand gently stroking hair away from my damp forehead. I wanted to push her away, but I was just too weak. I couldn't even heave this time. I was just too numb. And too sad.

* * *

"Miss Davies?"

I felt like crying, _again_. I'd _just_ managed to dose off – what did they want from me now?

We were at the emergency room. Against my will. I cringed as the young doctor adjusted an intrusive IV, lodged firmly into the crooked of my right elbow.

"It's just a quick treatment for dehydration, between the migraines and heaving, your body's lost a dangerous amount of fluids."

 _No shit._

"Can you tell me what you had for dinner last night?"

"Corn soup. Chinese," I groaned. Why wouldn't they understand that it wasn't the corn soup? I glared up at Spencer, who was painstakingly by my side, holding my left hand. How was I going to tell the doctor the cause of my very frail system was the very person next to me?

When the doctor did a double take at my file, and then frowned at me, I started to worry.

"Miss Davies, we've done some blood work, I don't think this is a food-related incident. Have you worked with any pesticides or such lately? Maybe rat poison or anything in that line?"

Oh. Shit.

The rice.

The realization – and guilt – hit me like a ton of bricks. It felt like my face lost another shade of color. "Yeah… uh, insect repellent. Yesterday. I was cooking dinner…" I let my voice trail off, too ashamed to finish that sentence.

I felt Spencer's eyes on me, and then a tight squeeze to my hand. She obviously had no clue what was going through my mind at the time – or at any given time. Tears attacked my eyes for the umpteenth time, and I wondered briefly whether this was because I was on an emotional rollercoaster ride, or because I just found out I'd nearly killed myself. Or _Spencer_. Who, ironically was here, holding _my_ hand. Caring about _me_. Dare I even say… _loving_ me…

It made me want to die just a little bit on the inside.


	14. How To: Recognize Love II

**A/N: All I can say is, WOW! Thank you everyone for the positive and awesome reviews! I had so much fun writing those last two chapters, and was blown away by the visitor/view stats shooting sky-high and just super cool reviews! So, thank you, fellow readers!**

 **Lots of emotion poured into next chapters, hope it's not too heavy after the last update! And… don't for a second think that it's the end after this!**

 **ChezzLove – CH13 : Your reviews are really conversational and I thank you for that! You've got my plot spot on! (Should I be bummed that you figured it out? ;) By what I've read from your reviews so far, I have a feeling you're going to love the ending. But I can't say more! Will just have to update, update, and update! Thanks for reading and really, thank you for your reviews!**

 **Southtrash – CH13 : I'm so glad you read this fic, your reviews on** ** _A Race to Freedom_** **was very encouraging. So I was quite happy to see you were reading! Thank you for the review! I might not have a lot of reader reviews, but the ones that** ** _do_** **comment really are very helpful and inspiring and that just makes me want to keep writing 24/7! So thank you!**

 **Melirufus – CH13 : Humor always scare me, because not all people feel the same about it, or get it, or even enjoy it. But… I worked really hard to put something good in here and try and imagine people laughing as they read –** ** _I_** **certainly did when I wrote about the anal itch condition, it just sounded like a good idea at the time! And it really makes me happy to see it worked :) Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **Guest – CH13 : Thank you for reading and reviewing so devotedly! I really appreciate it!**

 **Anjela78 – CH13 : Your review was very heartwarming! Thank you for the kind words, and Happy New Year to you too! Thank you for your praise on this fic – it's been a lot more difficult than my first one, but I hope everybody will be quite pleased and feel like it was a good read by the time I get to the end. Thank you for reading and reviewing – that is what keeps me inspired!**

 **Mukyti – CH13 : Thank you for reading and reviewing! Next chapters are here! Hope you enjoy it :)**

 **Guest – CH13 : It's finally here! Sorry it took so long – had to think long and hard how to structure this! Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To : Recognize Love II**

I found it hard to catch my breath. Catch my thoughts. Catch my fall.

It's been one of the most confusing, emotionally draining days of my life. Or as far back as I could remember. Things with Katherine was never this weird or intense. Not even when I parted ways with my family was life so confusing. But then again, I could hardly compare my history with what was right in front of me now. And it was so difficult, now, to pinpoint exactly when this had happened.

Was it the first time we met? The second? After the hundredth time when she refused to be fooled by every dirty trick I tried to pull? When was she going to give up and let me go?

My mind drifted back to the events of the previous night. I wasn't proud of myself. I knew it was what I was supposed to do, it was for my career, after all, the whole thing with Ashley was just a sham. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fight the emotions taking over whenever she looked right into my eyes, making me feel like she _saw_ me. No-one has ever looked at me like that. I got nervous when people held my gaze. But Ashley was different – maybe because I craved so often to look into her eyes, into her soul, too.

I was confused about the dinner-thing. Part of me was _so_ relieved that I'd made up the ridiculous childhood chicken chronicle – I didn't even want to imagine how bad it would have been if _both_ of us had eaten the full meal and fell ill. Things could have turned out for the worse. I don't know how Ashley had managed to accidentally poison herself while cooking, but seeing her at her lowest broke me. And I felt selfishly relieved – because not only did I _not_ want to feel the way she did, but it made me feel better that I could be here for her. Mean something to her.

Not that my presence seemed to help. She practically pushed me away since I arrived at her office. The only time I could get close to her was when she was asleep.

I didn't know what made me go there – maybe because she promised to call after our almost intimate night and never did, maybe because my conscience was eating away at me, or maybe because I had a nagging feeling that something was wrong. It turned out to be all of the above.

So when I got there and found her passed out on a sofa, pale, and clammy, it felt like I was dying a bit from the inside. I knew it wasn't, but it felt like her getting sick was my fault. She shouldn't have cooked for me. I should've broken this thing off. Every time I pulled a stint, it blew up in my face tenfold. And I was hardly the one on the receiving end – I had to watch Ashley get hurt every single time.

It was killing me.

"Spencer?"

And here she was, asking something from me that I couldn't comprehend. After _everything_ , how could she _still_ want to spend time with me? Did I not sound unstable enough? Crazy enough? Wasn't nearly _dying_ enough for her? When was she going to draw the line? Or was I supposed to do it?

"Spence?"

I finally took a moment to look at her – really _look_ at her. She was sitting upright on the bed in the emergency room, waiting patiently for a nurse to remove the IV so she could be discharged. Her complexion was still pale, but even so, Ashley remained beautiful. Her tired smile held a trace of hope. Her eyes were begging for an answer. The right answer.

She was advised to take two sick days to rest. Her parents had somehow found out about what had happened, and pleaded that she go home to recover. She had to be back in New York by Saturday for the gala hosted by both our companies.

She'd caught me off guard again. Not only had Ashley asked me to be her date for the gala, she also asked if I would go with her to recover at her parents. There were so many things loaded into that question that I could hardly pick and concentrate on any given one.

My conscience was begging me to take this opportunity and come clean with her. The rest of me was scared. _Petrified_. I didn't know if I was ready to lose her.

"Please say something?"

I couldn't find my voice. I had no idea how long I've been gasping for air, for words. For _anything_.

"I'll have to phone Paula to arrange for the days off – will you excuse me for a second?" I found myself saying.

I was almost a hundred percent sure that some color had returned to Ashley's face the instant those words left my mouth. The tiny hopeful smile was now a full-fledged nose-crinkling smile of exhilaration.

I'd do anything to keep that angelic smile on her face.

* * *

I was immediately enthralled by the Davies' ranch. It was green everywhere. Horses ran freely about in a huge front yard, accompanied by two small dogs, looking like they were playing. The house was captivating. Sporting a wooden exterior, with an open, inviting veranda leading to the front door, everything about it looked _homey_. Something I've always longed to feel since, well, childhood.

A lake glimmered in the background, and I smiled, trying to imagine what Ashley's childhood was like. I wondered if she swam in the lake during summer, and whether it froze in winter during snowfall. I wondered if she could skate.

As our cab came to a halt close to the veranda, I took in even more detail. A patrol cruiser was parked nearby. I could make out two barns hiding slightly behind the house.

Children's voices distracted me.

"Aunty Ashley! Aunty Ashley!"

The front door was yanked open, and two identical dark-haired five-year-olds came charging towards the taxi. A short woman, roughly about my age, appeared on the porch, a baby in her arms. She had a relaxed smile on her face as she called after the boys.

"James, Harrison, step away from the car. Give your aunt Ashley some space."

My eyes fell on the brunette next to me, her head resting on my shoulder, fast asleep. I felt bad to have to wake her, but knew if _I_ didn't, the restless twins outside would.

"Ash..." I shifted slightly to help her upright, thankful that her slumber wasn't that deep.

"Are we here already?" she groaned, her voice raspy. My heart did all kinds of flip-flops.

"Yeah, and there's two very excited boys waiting outside the door for you."

Her face lit up and she peeked through the open passenger window, stealing my breath away by her sudden excitement to see the boys. It was comical. Endearing. A complete different side to the Ashley Davies I'd gotten to know.

"Where's my favorite nephews!"

* * *

It was already past midnight when I finally made my way upstairs to the guest bedroom that was prepared for me. The wooden floor creaked underneath my feet and it reminded me of endless romantic movies where teenagers would sneak into their lovers' rooms. Kind of the same thing I was planning, except Ashley wasn't really my lover, and all I wanted to do was make sure that she was okay.

Upon arrival at the ranch, Ashley introduced me to her wonderful family; her father, the infamous Raife Davies whose music my own parents used to listen to, her loving mother Christine, and her sister Kyla, with her husband Jim, twins James and Harrison, and one-year old baby Leigh.

After the introductions, she spent some time with the twins, and then excused herself to get some much needed rest. I stayed behind and got acquainted with the family who raised the girl I'd grown so fond of. It was so refreshing to get to know Ashley from somebody else's point of view. Apparently the self-confidence was a family thing – her father was just as suave as she was. Kyla was more soft like her mother. It amazed me how much Ashley had taken after her father – the looks, the personality traits, and especially the music. Raife had promised to persuade Ashley to do a duet with him when she felt better. I was looking forward to hear her sing.

"Ash?" I gave a soft knock on her door, wondering why I did, knowing she'd be asleep.

I couldn't resist.

I turned the knob and slowly made my way inside, grateful that Ashley had fallen asleep with the nightlight on. Her room reflected her younger self so well. I felt like a teenager myself being in there. Black and purple walls, covered with posters of musicians and bikini clad females, an entire wall filled with CD's – from top to bottom; and a bed slightly smaller than the one she had back home. I couldn't help but grin when I realized she really loved the colors black and purple.

My eyes finally landed on the object of my affection – curled up under her duvet, sleeping soundly. My heart rate increased a little when I took in her features, still pale, but still beautiful. I couldn't imagine that anything could ever take that beauty away.

I nervously scooted onto the bed with her, leaned over and switched off the light, and plopped down on my back, content on just being close by. Her presence brought a certain calmness over me that I couldn't explain.

"Thank you."

It was so soft at first I thought I'd imagined it. But Ashley was half-awake.

"Are you feeling better?"

I heard her sigh and felt her pull the duvet from underneath me. "Getting there. Haven't thrown up in a while." A second later I was enveloped in the comfort of the warm, plush covers. "I'm sorry I left you alone with my family."

I smiled, forgetting that she couldn't see it in the pitch darkness of the room. "I had a wonderful time. You have a really great family, Ash." Her arm snaking around my waist felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"Yeah."

She was falling asleep again.

I wanted to sleep too, but being so very close to her had my mind spinning for another hour until all I could remember was spacious ranches, horses, and two little Ashleys with big blue eyes…

* * *

"Good morning sleepyhead." "Spencer! Did you sleep well, darling?" "Hey, there's my girl!"

I was overwhelmed by the warm greetings from the Davies family as I stepped into the open planned kitchen. A lump in my throat, I glanced around with a smile, trying to swallow back a sudden onset of tears threatening to spill. I've forgotten what it felt like to be surrounded by family. I haven't seen my own in almost ten years. Not that I haven't tried… but ultimately people like me were just not welcome in Catholic households.

"Aunty Spencer!" The twins caught my attention, and I could only offer a soft ' _morning boys_ ', not able to distinguish between the two.

"Did you sleep okay?" Ashley asked politely as I slid into a chair next to her.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak just yet. I _did_ sleep well. Nothing felt as good as falling asleep next to Ashley, and even though I woke up by myself, I knew I wasn't _alone_. It was a nice feeling.

Christine placed a cup of coffee in front of me and started unpacking heaps of food on the large kitchen table. "So, since we have fussy eaters here this morning, I haven't whipped up a farm style breakfast. I hope you girls are fine with fruits and yogurt? Ashley you should have some toast and bananas."

I wondered who the fussy eaters were. Breakfast was an amazing family meal.

"Spencer, honey, is there anything else you don't eat besides chicken?"

My eyes went wide. I was about to protest, but then remembered my lies about not eating chicken. The thing about lying; it was hard work. I had to think hard to remember if I'd mentioned any other foods I couldn't eat to Ashley. And then I frowned, wondering how Christine Davies knew about the chicken.

"Uh… no, that's about it, Mrs. Davies," I stammered. I felt utterly embarrassed.

"Please, call me Christine," she smiled.

"Ashley, are you going to take Spencer out on the bike today? You need to let me know so I can have it filled up for you."

"No, Raife, the girls need to take it easy today. Look at how pale Ashley still is."

"Mom, Dad – "

"How about you take the boys to their game today? That shouldn't be too strenuous – I'll let coach know."

I offered Ashley a supportive smile as she just shook her head at her parents' antics. It was sweet the way they cared – despite the fact that she was old enough to make her own decisions.

"Yay! Aunty Ashley, we want you to watch us play! Please?"

"And aunty Spencer you can come too!"

I loved the twins, they were adorable.

My eyes met Ashley's, and we silently agreed on the plans for the day – take the boys to their baseball game. I was relieved, Christine was right – it wouldn't be too demanding on Ashley – she was still not a hundred percent back to normal again. If it was up to me, I'd have her stay in bed all day. Cuddling… movies… pampering.

But it wasn't up to me, and I wasn't the person to give those kind of things to Ashley. No matter how close we felt at the moment, I still had to talk to her. Tell her everything. And only then… if she could find it in her heart to forgive me and still speak to me… then I could consider things like that.

* * *

Ashley surprised me so many times that I'd lost count. It wasn't that she was a different person at the ranch as to who she was in the city, not at all. She was just more relaxed and without the added pressure of having to be the best, and the player, and without having to deal with my personality switches. I'd decided that I had enough material for my article, and would just be myself from now on, until I could find the right time to sit her down and talk to her.

"Spencer, you're up!"

We were at the ballpark of Ashley's hometown. The twins had just won their second game of the season, and while all the other youngsters and parents were leaving, the entire Davies family was now out on the field for a friendly mini game. It was a family tradition of theirs.

"Spencer, please can you put my sister in her place once and for all and give us a home run?" Kyla begged.

I stepped up to the batter's box and grinned. Though I was no sporting professional, I had some decent batting skills. "Well, I'm up for the challenge – I _did_ play some ball back in school and college."

Ashley laughed, and tossed the ball around in her hands while waiting to pitch. "Good luck with that one, Spence. I'm the _only_ one in this family who's ever gotten home runs on this field."

Raife, Jim and James were out on the field, making up the rest of Ashley's team, while Christine, Kyla and Harrison were with me. We were batting the top inning.

"I sense that a game for the books will be happening here today. Losers get kitchen duty tonight and tomorrow – how does that sound?" Raife suggested.

We all agreed, and I couldn't stop feeling the happiness tugging at my heart. I felt a sense of belonging with the Davies. It thrilled and scared me at the same time.

* * *

I topped Ashley's record with four home runs in one game.

And while I was crowned the player of the day, Ashley made it clear that she made the pitching easy for me. We all laughed, of course. She hated losing.

"Well, Spencer, I hope you know that we expect you to come back here. You have not only beat Ashley at her own game, but you now also hold the record for the most home runs! And we are thrilled!" Raife exclaimed, writing my name on a scoreboard hanging on a Yankees memorabilia covered wall.

I blushed profusely, and scanned the log to see other names scribbled below Ashley's. "Why, were all Ashley's other girlfriends terrible batters?"

Christine let out a hearty laugh. "What other girlfriends? You're the first girl she's ever brought home!" She handed me a bottled water and pulled me into a tight hug. "Now don't go breaking her heart, young lady."

Christine's words not only frightened me, it also came as a bit of a surprise. _No_ other girlfriends? And me, break Ashley's heart? Why would they think that I would do that? And why would they think that we were in it for the long run? I'd just met the girl.

But as I looked up, and my own blue eyes met brown – allowing me a glimpse into the soul that touched mine so fiercely – I came to the shocking realization.

Everything I've been feeling about Ashley; trying to push her away, feeling terrible afterwards, unable to sleep with her next to me – and even more so _without_ her next to me, unable to be the crazy, multiple personalitied Spencer Carlin, unable to focus on my article, unable to focus on _anything_ , unable to do my job… wasn't because Ashley was suave and a player and irresistibly hot.

It was because she was funny, warm, caring. Yes, hot, and a player too. Smooth. When she looked at me, it felt that I mattered. She was forgiving – for all the things I've put her through. She was a family person despite hiding it so well in the city. She loved children. She loved baseball. She was all the things I'd wished so many times I'd find in someone someday.

And then it _really_ hit me.

I was in love with Ashley Davies.


	15. How To: Acknowledge your feelings

**Ashley**

 **How To : Acknowledge your feelings**

I'd noticed the subtle changes in Spencer the minute we stopped at my parents' ranch. She seemed calmer, but at the same time, a little withdrawn.

When I first asked her to come with me, to take two days off and just be with me without any pressure of work, of the city, of us, I was a bit scared. I was scared that she'd act out even more crazy, and I didn't know how my family would handle that – even though I've come to accept her for who she was. I just knew that if it _did_ happen, I'd be able to explain it to them. Explain _her_ to them. And I knew they would accept her – just like I did.

It was weird, feeling this way.

It's been ages since I really sat down and wrote a song that meant something to me. Not the one about hating her, but one where I accepted her. Since I met Spencer, the words have been flowing, the melody was there, the _emotion_ was there. Maybe one day I'd have the guts to play it to her. _Sing_ it to her. But at the back of my mind, it was gnawing at me that Spencer was only in my life because I was using her. Tapping inspiration out of her. Arthur loved my final production of Josie's song – ultimately the song which could make or break me at the gala.

I had no doubt that the blonde had feelings for me – her behavior at the emergency room proved that. If _that_ wasn't enough for Arthur, I didn't know what would be.

I still felt like an idiot for the way I acted. It really was off-putting given what I'd found in that cupboard, but when I really thought about it, I've never seen Spencer worry about an itch. So the medication must have worked. Which was why I packed it for her. I didn't want to embarrass her, so I left it in the guest bathroom with her toiletries while she was still sleeping peacefully in my bed.

In my bed.

Once again, the infamous player didn't go for the kill. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I'd gone a whole week without sex – it was unheard of. The intimate moments that we _have_ shared, however, was noteworthy. Spencer Carlin made me feel things. And I never allowed myself to feel, _ever_. I never took girlfriends to the ranch, an hour's drive out of the city. I never saw them more than a couple of hours in my bed. I only had one night stands. I never had _girlfriends_.

But here she was, stepping into the kitchen, still half asleep, clearly overwhelmed by my parents and Kyla greeting her like she'd been part of the family for years.

And I saw, briefly, how pain flashed across her eyes. And then it was gone, as quick as it came. It made me wonder all kinds of things about her. Her family, her life, and her condition. All I wanted to do was sit her down and tell her that I knew, and that it was going to be okay. I accepted her, bipolar personality and all.

"Aunty Spencer!" Even Harrison and James loved her. Which made me so happy. I loved kids. And Spencer seemed to get along with them quite well.

The girl who'd been constantly running through my mind slid down in the chair next to me and gave a soft smile.

I returned the smile and couldn't help but feel content. "Did you sleep okay?"

She confirmed it with a nod.

"So, since we have fussy eaters here this morning, I haven't whipped up a farm style breakfast. I hope you girls are fine with fruits and yogurt? Ashley you should have some toast and bananas," my mother said, handing Spencer a cup of coffee. I groaned at my limited allowance of food intake. Maybe one more day and I'd be fine again after the little poisoning incident.

"Spencer, honey, is there anything else you don't eat besides chicken?"

Her eyes went wide and I couldn't help but smile to myself. Of _course_ I filled my mother in about the chicken. I didn't want Spencer to feel embarrassed. Or let her go hungry.

"Uh… no, that's about it, Mrs. Davies."

"Please, call me Christine."

"Ashley, are you going to take Spencer out on the bike today? You need to let me know so I can have it filled up for you."

I looked up at my father, but before I could respond, my mother jumped in.

"No, Raife, the girls need to take it easy today. Look at how pale Ashley still is."

"Mom, Dad – " I started. I was old enough to look after myself.

"How about you take the boys to their game today? That shouldn't be too strenuous – I'll let coach know."

Well, that seemed like a reasonable idea. I loved taking the boys to their games. Maybe we'd be able to squeeze in a Davies family tradition game afterwards.

"Yay! Aunty Ashley, we want you to watch us play! Please?"

"And aunty Spencer you can come too!"

I glanced over at Spencer, and our eyes met. I loved when she did that; hold my gaze. We seemed to silently agree that baseball would be a good activity for the day.

Like I said, Spencer Carlin was making me _feel_ things…

* * *

We _did_ end up playing a Davies game. And my team ended up losing. Things like that _never_ happened. _Ever_.

I couldn't decide whether to be upset or thrilled. Thrilled that this beautiful blonde had topped my record and got crowned player of the day. Thrilled that she loved things I did. Thrilled that my family loved her.

But upset because she was all these things, but she wasn't mine. Upset that we were on kitchen duty and I'd rather not cook for the next couple of years. Upset because I hated losing.

Feeling thrilled outweighed being upset.

"Well, Spencer, I hope you know that we expect you to come back here. You have not only beat Ashley at her own game, but you now also hold the record for the most home runs! And we are thrilled!" my father exclaimed, writing her name on our Yankees wall scoreboard.

"Why, were all Ashley's other girlfriends terrible batters?" I liked seeing Spencer blush, but I didn't like where this conversation was going.

"What other girlfriends? You're the first girl she's ever brought home!" I noticed my mother pull her into a hug and whisper something into her ear.

And then Spencer looked up. Our eyes met like every other time, seeking something deeper than what was just at the surface. She was quiet, and I could see emotions flickering, just like the last time we'd almost gotten very intimate.

I knew this time I wouldn't be able to stop.

* * *

I was uncharacteristically nervous. We'd decided that Spencer sleep in my bed instead of the guest bedroom. We were old enough for these things.

But I felt like a teenager, sneaking my date into my room after everybody had gone to bed.

I closed the door behind her as she stepped inside, and my heart leaped seeing her in just boxer shorts and a tank top. Pretty much the same as I was wearing. Which I was going to change, very soon.

I pushed her up against the door, unable to contain myself any more. I needed her, I really needed to show her what I felt for her, and I was willing to risk everything.

And I knew she felt the same when her hands feverishly tugged at the hem of my top, her mouth leaving behind trails of desire on my neck, my shoulders, my jaw, and finally, my mouth.

We were both naked in my bed in seconds. She was above me, showering me in kisses and touches.

And then she stopped.

"Ashley, before we do this, I need to tell you something."

I was dumbfounded, my hands dropping from her hips. Couldn't she have saved whatever was on her mind for later? Was she flipping the switch again?

I realized maybe she was, and that she was scared.

"Spence, it's okay, I know," I tried to reassure her. She seemed so uncertain and it broke my heart.

"Really? But how – "

I was torn between the intimacy I was craving, and stopping to console her and talk everything out.

"I've noticed, okay? And I'm okay – _you're_ okay. It doesn't bother me. I _want_ you, Spencer."

She seemed to think about it for a moment. Like really think hard about it. And then, pushing her condition aside, pushing aside the tears that have pooled up in her eyes, pushing away the fear that I wouldn't accept her as she was, Spencer planted appreciative kisses all over my face. When her mouth finally met mine, it was more than just kisses. She wanted more, just like I did.

And while I let my tongue dance with hers to the melody I was writing and dedicating to her, her hands trailed down to my core and wrote an arousing love story to my heart.

* * *

I woke up feeling strangely content. Mornings were never this rosy for me. And when I took in a deep breath, feeling added weight to my chest, I realized why.

Blonde hair curtained all over my still naked form, almost tickling my neck. A warm, curled up hand rested on my stomach, while the other was poking into my side. Lifting my head ever so slightly, I could make out the side of her face, a relaxed smile visible through the blonde tresses spread all over our torsos. Eyes still closed and breathing steadily in a deep slumber, I felt my heart do impressive somersaults while watching her in her peaceful stupor. If I'd known that waking up feeling this happy would ever be possible for me, I would've settled a long time ago.

My mind drifted to our intimate night that had managed to elicit enigmatic emotions from me. Emotions that I'd pushed away _so_ far and deep that I had forgotten they even existed. Emotions that screamed _love_ in every language spoken.

Love.

I played around with the word in my head. We definitely didn't have sex. It was more in the _'making love'_ category. But then again, what was love? Was it feelings? Expectations? Acceptance? Was it even a thing?

I thought of Josie's song, and my own. Both proclaimed love. But what exactly was it?

I was so confused by it, but for some unexplained reason, it felt like I _felt_ it. I was enthralled by it, yet scared of it.

Glancing down at the sleeping blonde on my chest, completely unaware of what she'd instilled in me, I couldn't help but feel grateful. I wanted to return the feeling to her tenfold. I'd love for her to feel what I felt. I wanted to take away the confusion, fear and regret that often flashed through those striking blue eyes. I wanted to take away the pain I'd seen when she came into the kitchen for breakfast. I wanted her eyes to reflect that beautiful smile she strangely have seemed to reserve for me – I've never seen her smile like that at someone else. I wanted her to feel light and happy the same way I was feeling right now. I wanted her to feel safe and protected. No matter how many personalities she had and how often they came out. I'd endure them all.

For Spencer.

* * *

I was starting to feel even more sure about my feelings for her as the day progressed. We'd decided that it was a beautiful day to take a trip on the dirt bikes to the outskirts of the ranch. Of course, I first spent over two hours teaching Spencer how to ride a bicycle. Then the bike. I savored each moment, hanging onto the memory for dear life. Each fall, each victory. Kyla was clever enough to take some snapshots. In the back of my mind I could see them framed on our family wall – right next to Kyla and Jim and the kids' collection of silly moments.

It was already noon when we finally made our first stop, halfway to where I really wanted to take Spencer.

"You still okay back there?" I jumped off my bike and shuffled the kickstand with my foot, letting it stand upright in the path we were riding on.

Spencer came to a slow halt, and I was impressed by the way she finally held her balance, and jumped off as if she'd been doing it all her life.

"This is so much fun, Ash," she panted, removing her helmet.

I grinned and held the bike steady while she carefully pulled out the kickstand.

"I love the feeling of freedom."

I noticed Spencer taking a look around her, and grabbed her hand, knowing she'd appreciate what I was going to show her. She'd only seen parts of the lake behind the house – but she didn't know where the water came from. Though this was only a part of it, the rock pools were still beautiful.

Spencer stopped in her tracks, taking in the sight in front of her.

"Ash… this is… I can't even… it's _amazing_!"

I studied her face for a moment, taking in her features as she digested what she saw. Even dressed up in protective gear, hair dusty, splatters of mud in her face, she was breathtaking. My heart did a back-flip as her eyes landed on me, smiling that reserved smile.

I knew she pulled a nose-crinkling smile from me in return.

"Come on, let's grab a bite quickly. We still have a bit of a distance to go," I finally sighed, wishing we could just stay here forever. But I knew the final stop would be rewarding.

I removed some items from the backpack I had on my back, and handed a granola bar and water to Spencer. If anything, keeping hydrated on these rides were important. I loved my dad for giving me this gift – of bike riding and teaching me all the small little things. It gave me the opportunity to explore, made me feel free. And it gave me what was right in front of me – a smiling Spencer.

After the intense, intimate night we had, a day out exploring nature was just what we needed.

* * *

I needed more than just exploring nature it seemed. I opted to explore Spencer's body instead as she lay contentedly on the blanket I'd spread out, close to the plunge pool created by a 30-foot waterfall, just outside the perimeter of our ranch.

We were completely hidden away from any possible intrusion, yet safe from being caved in by stray or wild animals. I'd only ever encountered wild dogs or horses up here, and that had only happened once or twice in my lifetime of coming to the very spot that helped me concentrate to write songs. That helped me to calm down after I'd come out to my parents. That helped me get over my first heartbreak back in high school. And the last in college. Sometimes I came up here just because it made me feel free.

But today I wanted to come up here because I wanted to share it with the person I believed held my heart. Arthur had been right all along. I really needed to feel this before my production of Josie's song could ever work. And now that I knew what it felt like, I didn't ever want to lose it.

And I converted my thoughts into feelings and feelings into actions as I idolized the woman squirming in delight underneath me. My hands roamed her body, roamed every inch, leaving trails of love, eliciting goosebumps all over. It felt good to make her feel this way. It felt good to hear her beg for more, it felt good to hear her whisper my name as I finally pushed her over the edge, waiting to catch her in her fall.

It was so different from any other time, any other girl, where loud moans and no strings – no feelings – mattered.

This was different. This was… _love_.

I looked down at her as she finally opened her eyes, offering a tired smile. And I could see it there too – _love_.

The funny things is, this time it didn't scare me. Because in the very moment that I'd heard my name escape her lips in an ecstasy only Spencer made me feel the night before, I knew what it was now.

I just knew.

I was in love with Spencer Carlin.


	16. How To: Build castles in the sky

**A/N: It's time. Longish chapters to follow, I'm sorry if the beginning feels like a repetition of the previous chapter, but there were certain parts I wanted to reveal both characters' point of view.**

 **Any lyrics that I've quoted/will be quoting… I'll put the artist details and song names in a separate author's note. I don't own any of it – sadly.**

 **ChezzLove – CH15 : I was worried about the last update – simply because it went from a light, funny stance, to heavy filled with emotion – very quickly. But it seems once again that you perfectly got where I was going with it… including the weaved realizations of their feelings! And of course, what is a story without a bit of angst? I'm pretty sure the chapters to follow will keep you satisfied and hopefully on the edge, until it finally and sadly winds down to an end. I like the idea with more of the Davies family – I will definitely keep that in consideration – already have some scenes brewing! Thank you! And thanks for the awesome review! ;)**

 **Melirufus – CH14 &15 : Your comment on CH14 about the improvement and better character development really means a lot – thank you! I will only really know these things if people tell me – I'm in my own head way too much to see what I'm doing sometimes. But I also know that with practice comes perfection… so, maybe I'll be here to stay for a while in the world of SON and help to keep our much loved characters alive by writing as many fics as I can! CH15 : I try :) I'm glad you're happy about the girls' realization and acceptance of their feelings for each other. But, like the movie, and life as such, it's not always sunshine and roses… Thank you for the review and thanks for reading!**

 **Guest – CH1 : I hope you read the rest of the story! It's about to get even more interesting! Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **FufuTheFallenAngel – CH15 : Thank you for reading, and reviewing! Here are the next chapters, hope it doesn't disappoint ;)**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To : Build castles in the sky**

As soon as Ashley closed the door behind her, I was pushed up against it, and she kissed me fiercely.

I returned her kisses as intensely, feeling every single nerve in my body on fire. It left me kissing every exposed spot I could find on _her_ body. I tugged at her top, our clothes just creating too much resistance. I wanted to be naked with her.

We both undressed quickly, and I pressed Ashley back onto her bed, continuing kissing her, touching her. I've wanted to do this for a long time. But I'd promised myself that I would clear things up first.

 _Shit_.

The talk.

In our heated moment I'd forgotten why I agreed to come to her room in the first place. I had to stop what we were doing. I had to get this off my chest now, before we both got hurt beyond fixing things. Before I lost her for good.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, suddenly feeling terrified of telling her the truth about why I really was in her life. But it had to be done. "Ashley, before we do this, I need to tell you something."

Ashley froze underneath me, her hands immediately dropping from my hips. She stared at me for a moment, her eyes fixed on mine. Then finally she relaxed a little. "Spence, it's okay, I know."

 _What?!_

Was I hearing right? How was that even possible? And why didn't she say something? I felt utterly confused. "Really? But how – "

I could see the frustration on her face – my timing obviously really sucked.

"I've noticed, okay? And I'm okay – _you're_ okay. It doesn't bother me. I _want_ you, Spencer."

My heart was racing. When did Ashley find out? And why did she keep quiet about it? Was that why she kept pulling me closer while I kept pushing her away? Was she really _that_ forgiving? I felt tears welling up in my eyes, feeling undeserving of Ashley's unconditional devotion. I dared to look at her, and found those chocolate brown eyes staring up at me, waiting lovingly for me to believe that what she was saying was true.

Maybe it was.

I decided to trust her on this, and let all the questions and confusion consume me later.

All I wanted now was for Ashley to know that I loved her.

So I showed her.

* * *

Ashley was in an exceptionally good mood by the time we'd finished breakfast.

"I have a surprise for you," she smiled, her eyes sparkling brightly.

It made me blush. "Yeah?"

"I hope you'll like it. Come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me out the front door, down the stairs of the veranda.

I stopped dead, staring at the two dirt bikes leaning on its kickstands. My heart fell as I looked at Ashley, overly excited to take me riding. But I could barely ride a bicycle, and I told her that.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling like I'd been cheated out of the greatest thing of childhood. I mean, who did _not_ know how to ride a bike?

But Ashley was optimistic. "Hey, look at me." She lifted my chin, her eyes searching mine lovingly. "Let me teach you."

My heart fluttered. I couldn't believe things have turned out like this. I still couldn't believe Ashley knew about the article and wasn't fazed by it. I couldn't believe she accepted everything so willingly.

So Ashley held up her promise, pulled out an old bicycle from a shed behind the house, and held it steady numerous times while I learnt the art of balance. And finally, letting go, leaving me to pedal frantically up and down the gravel driveway in front of the Davies house. Of course, it wasn't all as easy as it sounded. My slightly scraped knees could attest to that. But I finally managed.

"Come on Spence, I know you can do this!"

"Go Spencer!"

The Davies sisters were cheering me on. I was almost certain that Kyla sneaked some snapshots while I wasn't looking, but decided to concentrate on my balancing instead. I could really do this!

It took almost two hours for me to get the hang of the bicycle and motorbike. Ashley was ecstatic by the time I'd confirmed that I was ready to take on our little adventure. I was quite excited too.

* * *

"You still okay back there?"

I watched as Ashley jumped off her bike and hooked the kickstand with her foot, letting it stand upright in the path we were riding on. She was such a natural at this. A _hot_ natural.

I finally came to a standstill, wishing I could do things as easily as Ashley did. It was still a bit tricky for me to get off the bike while holding it up at the same time. But I had to be honest, I was enjoying it.

"This is so much fun, Ash," I panted, removing my helmet.

Ashley grinned and rushed towards me, holding the bike upright as I pushed the kickstand out with my hands.

"I love the feeling of freedom," she admitted shyly.

It amazed me how much of the real Ashley I was getting to know on this impromptu visit to her parents. She amazed me. The scenery amazed me.

I took a look around, and allowed Ashley to take my hand to lead me down a narrow path surrounded by endless trees. When we finally reached a small clearing, my words got stuck in my throat.

It was as picturesque as I imagined rock pools would be. The water was clean, and thanks to the clear sky, the water had a blue tint to it. Green moss wrapped itself around the boulders that made up the pools. To the south, the water ebbed down towards what I guessed was the lake behind the Davies' ranch. To the north, a steady stream poured gently into the pools. I was mesmerized. Wordless.

"Ash… this is… I can't even… it's _amazing_!"

I felt her eyes on me, and my heart leaped. Between the beauty of this place, and the beauty of Ashley Davies, I couldn't help but give a full smile.

Ashley returned my smile with one of her own. "Come on, let's grab a bite quickly. We still have a bit of a distance to go."

I was almost sad that we had to leave, but I had a feeling that this was only the beginning. I watched Ashley take granola bars and bottled water from her backpack, and handed one of each to me. I was surprised at the effort she'd gone through for this trip – teaching me how to ride, packing a bag… I felt incredibly touched. Ashley really was something else.

And I loved everything about her.

* * *

We were both exhausted by the time we cruised into the ranch. We made it back in good time – the sun was _just_ setting. My memory was running wild with all the beautiful things I've seen. And all the beautiful things I've felt. The rock pools, the waterfall, the cool plunge pool, Ashley's warm, naked body against mine after our quick swim – making me feel things I never knew was possible… I was in a sensory overload and could hardly contain myself. I was sure the constant smile on my face would get stuck like that after the clock struck twelve.

But why wouldn't I smile? Everything was so perfect – so peaceful.

I helped Ashley lock up the bikes and rinsed down the mud from our gear.

Raife was sitting outside on the veranda steps when we finally made it back to the house. "Did you girls have fun today?"

Ashley turned to me for an answer, which I gladly provided. "It was amazing! The rock pools, the waterfall… the bikes! I learnt to drive a bicycle and dirt bike in one day!"

Raife laughed heartily and I was almost embarrassed by my verbal explosion of excitement. But they made me feel at home, and so welcome, that I couldn't help but wish that he was also there to experience it with us. With me. Any father figure would do for that matter.

Ashley chuckled and tugged me by my arm. "Come on, let's go get you cleaned up. Then you can tell them all about it." She winked playfully and I felt the smile I _still_ had grow even wider.

* * *

Dinner was eventful. Christine and Kyla were quite the comedic pair after a glass of wine, and with encouragement from Raife and Jim, they entertained us throughout a finely prepared salmon fillet with potato puree, fresh asparagus and salsa, and delicious waffles for dessert. I had to admit that the Davies really knew how to cook – aside from Ashley's incident with the insecticides.

I couldn't help but steal glances at the brunette, who laughed wholeheartedly with her family. I loved the sound of her laughter, and wished this night would never end.

After dinner, I was surprised that Ashley hesitantly agreed to play guitar with Raife, and finally sang a duet together.

I had goosebumps all over, listening to their voices in such perfect harmony.

 _"When the light is fading  
and it's hard to see  
I hope you know you're still a part of me_

 _So hold on_  
 _Hold on to me_  
 _Hold on_  
 _Hold on to me"_

I was entranced, to say the least. The rest of the family lounged around, quite used to the father-daughter duo. We all clapped and cheered together, but I was sure that my heart beat a tad little faster than anyone else's in that room.

And it beat only for one person, who I couldn't wait to hold in my arms as we slept.

* * *

But sleep didn't come as easily as I'd anticipated. My mind was faraway, clouding the good memories of the day.

"Spence?"

I froze in Ashley's arms, wondering if my restlessness had woken her.

She shifted up into a sitting position with her back against the headboard, pulling me up with her. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

Not only had we gotten to know each other intimately the past two days; we'd also learnt about each other's facial expressions, sighs, smiles, when to push and when to back down, irritations, small delights, and a lot more than we would like to admit to ourselves.

And right now Ashley recognized my perplexed sigh and she wasn't about to back down. "I can feel how tense you are, Spence. What's wrong? Did something happen?" she asked cautiously.

I shook my head against her. "No," I mumbled into her chest. "Nothing happened."

Her arms only tightened around me more. "Then what's wrong?"

I finally gave in. "I really like your family, Ash. And they love you – never take that for granted."

Ashley was more attentive than I have realized. "Ever since we got here you looked sad about something… is it my family?" She was silent for a moment, and then softly pressed further. "Is it yours?"

I sighed. I haven't talked about them in years. I haven't talked about my _feelings_ about them in years – not even to Katherine. Chelsea was the only person who knew what had happened. But for some reason, I felt safe to share my past with Ashley. I felt safe in her arms, safe in the comfort of her family's warm home. I wanted her to understand why I thought her family was so perfect, even with their flaws.

"Your family… they're very accepting. Of who you are, of me…"

I didn't have to say more, Ashley already understood. "When last did you see them?"

She gently wiped the tears that I couldn't stop in time. "About ten years ago. College – freshman year. I've known all my life, but I also knew that I could never risk telling them until I was out of the house. Most of the time I felt like an outcast – I was too scared that I'd slip up or that they would notice. Not that it even mattered – they were never home because their careers at the hospital was too important." I took a deep, shaky breath. "When I came out to them they basically disowned me. I've tried…" An unwilling sob escaped me. "God, I've tried so many times to talk to them, to explain to them. But they wouldn't let me. They're very Catholic. I just didn't belong there."

I wasn't sure for how long I just quietly sobbed. I wasn't sure how long Ashley comforted me and finally soothed me into a deep, dreamless sleep.

But what I was definitely sure of, between the tears and slipping into slumber, was a whisper so gentle, so loving, assuring me that I belonged here, that I belonged with her.

* * *

The last stretch of our drive back home was comfortably quiet. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders after Ashley had confessed that she knew about the article, and I was glad that I had told her about my family – or lack thereof.

Things were really starting to look up for me, in both my professional and personal life. I couldn't be happier.

"So, I'll pick you up at seven then?" Ashley interrupted my thoughts with a hopeful smile.

I looked around me and noticed we were already back in New York, parked in front of my apartment building. I blushed. "Yes, of course. You're not coming with your Harley, are you? I mean, I'm wearing an evening gown and – "

Ashley laughed, jumped out and held the door open for me, melting my insides instantaneously. "Although it would be a sight to see, I don't think either of us could pull off evening gowns on a Harley, Spence."

I gave a sigh of relief and pulled Ashley into a hug, already missing her closeness. We were going to have to figure out what we wanted to do, relationship-wise, after the gala. It was safe to say that I was completely head over heels for the brunette in my arms. I took a deep breath and revelled in that familiar scent of CK One and Ashley Davies.

She was the first one to pull away, her hands still on my shoulders as she held my gaze. "So, I'll see you tonight?"

I smiled and nodded my confirmation. "I'll see you tonight."

"Good. Because I want to give you more of these."

And she surprised me, leaning in, her mouth suddenly on mine, teeth tugging at my lips, tongue dancing with my own, leaving me breathless as she pulled away, smiled softly, and got back into the cab.

I could only stare, with a racing heart, as they drove off, leaving my mind stuck on replay after that very seducing kiss.

* * *

My resolve was to finish the article and send it to Paula before I had to get ready for the gala. I glanced over at my alarm clock, the red digits increasing the anxiety over my deadline. I didn't want to sit on this for one more day. Not even a minute longer. As much as I was excited to get it out of my system, I was also scared. Even though Ashley declared that she knew about everything, I still felt an uncomfortable uneasiness settling.

Every twenty minutes or so, I'd get distracted by memories of the Davies ranch. Distracted by memories of Ashley. A smile tugged at my lips when I reminisced about our intimate moments together. The waterfall. The bike rides. Ashley teaching me how to ride a bicycle. Ashley playing baseball. Ashley playing guitar. Ashley singing with Raife. Ashley singing…

 _SoundCloud!_

I remembered that I wanted to check if she had any samples of her own music on there. Now that I knew what she sounded like, I couldn't help but want to hear more. Ashley Davies had the voice of an angel.

I pushed aside the opening paragraph of my article, and like the juvenile stalker I was, browsed through Ashley's music collection. I recognized a couple of titles that I'd seen on her iPod, and squirmed in delight after finding _She Hates Me_ – the song she'd so desperately tried to stop. I decided to download a couple of the songs to my phone first before getting swept off my feet by the talent of a certain brunette who held my heart.

After building a reasonable playlist to carry me through the rest of the day, I flexed my fingers, ready to write the article I was so sure would change the rest of my life. And with a raspy, soothing voice of the woman I loved in the background, where could things go wrong?

 _"Met a girl, thought she was grand, fell in love, found out first hand. Went well for a week or two, then it all came unglued…"_

Although somewhat unnerving, the lyrics inspired the theme of my article to such an extent that I considered asking Ashley if I could quote some. But she didn't know that I had access to her music, and I reconsidered, wanting to hold onto her talent for just a little longer. Ashley was already very shy about her singing.

The song was somewhat abrasive. I was curious to know what the reasoning behind it was. I was curious to know what inspired Ashley to write _anything_ – what inspired her melodies and words. I daydreamed about a day maybe not too far in the future where she'd serenade me with her guitar, bravely offering her heart to me in the form of harmonic lyrics. I'd brush away happy tears and run to her, enveloping her in a loving hug.

 _Bzzz-bzzz_

And trust Chelsea to ruin this for me.

"Hey Chels," I spoke into my phone, suddenly feeling as if I hadn't seen my best friend in years. So much had happened the past three days.

 _"She's alive! Spence, are you still in the States even? I haven't heard from you since Wednesday when you called from the hospital."_

Oh.

 _Oops?_

"Yeah, things were a bit in a rush. I'm sorry I didn't call you," I offered apologetically. And I _was_ sorry, Chelsea was the only person who'd worry if something had to happen.

 _"So? Are you going to leave me in the dark here, or shall we go for coffee or something?"_

I flinched, the time constraints really working against me. "Chels, I can't. I need to finish this article, and Ash asked me to go to the gala with her tonight."

 _"Ash? As in Ashley? Davies? Spence, what's going on?"_ I could hear the rising pitch – and concern – in her voice, and laughed it away.

"Relax Chels. Ashley knows – about the article and everything. It's behind us – I just really need to get it out to Paula before I leave tonight, since you know, I wasn't there on Thursday and Friday."

 _"Are you sure, Spencer? You're not going to get your heart broken and call me to pick up the remains from the sidewalk? Because if she hurts you like Katherine did –"_ I rolled my eyes as if she could see it.

"Chelsea, _no_ -one's getting their hearts broken tonight, okay? Everything's fine. I'll call you in the morning – then we go for that coffee?"

 _"Okay… I'll talk to you in the morning then."_

I laughed as I tossed my phone down on my bed, feeling overwhelmingly touched by my best friend's concern. But she had nothing to worry about – by the end of the night, neither Ashley Davies nor Spencer Carlin would be single anymore. I couldn't wait to finally tell her how I felt about her.


	17. How To: Build a Lego House

**Ashley**

 **How To : Build a Lego House**

Although not new to me, I was starting to enjoy being in a good mood. Not that I'd never been in good moods – they were just never _this_ good before. And I didn't even have to try and fool myself why - I wasn't going to. Because the reason was sitting right next to me, her head leaning on my shoulder as we made our way back to the city. And she was a beautiful reason. Nothing could convince me otherwise.

My mind wandered back to dinner, when Spencer could barely contain her excitement over the day we've had. I felt quite pleased with myself, being the reason for such a myriad of feelings for someone. It was endearing watching Spencer tell my parents about learning to ride a bicycle, and then the dirt bike, and I remembered winking at Kyla, who'd make sure to print duplicate copies of the snapshots for me. One set would go up in the house, on the wall, where I'd pictured them, and the other I'd share with Spencer in New York. And then she moved on and told them about the picturesque rock pools – her words – and finally, the waterfall. Although he's been there plenty of times, my dad knew how to draw new details out of Spencer – imagining there were new trees, new rocks, new elements that he hasn't yet seen with his own eyes. It kept the blonde next to me childlike, describing the ranch to him in her own, creative way. She did, after all, have a masters in journalism, and it was expected of her to know how to do this.

What _wasn't_ expected of her, was for her to know how to deal with the heartache of never learning to ride a bike, of never sitting down around a dinner table and sharing exciting days with your family. It took everything out of me to not cry with her when she'd told me about how her family had kicked her out. About believing she was a disgrace to the world because of who she loved.

Morning came, and I paid extra attention to the gratitude she showed towards my family, and ultimately me, for letting her experience a semi-normal family life for a couple of days. I wouldn't label the Davies as anything _remotely_ normal, but it seemed to make Spencer happy, so…

She kept thanking me on our way home, until I finally got her to stop and enjoy the ride.

So the last twenty minutes or so was quiet, allowing me to dream up holidays at the ranch. More bike rides. Horseback riding. Swimming in the lake. Winter. Ice-skating on the lake. Christmas. Jim, Kyla, the twins, and Leigh. My father as Santa Claus. Hot chocolate and marshmallows. Mistletoe. New Years, new resolutions. Planning more holidays. And I smiled, seeing Spencer in each of those dreams.

Before I knew it, the yellow cab parked outside Spencer's apartment building, waiting patiently for us to say our goodbyes. "So, I'll pick you up at seven then?"

Spencer was cute when she blushed. She had probably dosed off on my shoulder. "Yes, of course. You're not coming with your Harley, are you? I mean, I'm wearing an evening gown and – "

I couldn't help but laugh, trying to imagine Spencer with her evening gown on my bike. I got out and held the cab door open for her. "Although it would be a sight to see, I don't think either of us could pull off evening gowns on a Harley, Spence."

She smiled that only-for-me-smile and pulled me into a hug. I appreciated the gesture – it was going to feel strange not having her so close to me anymore. We had a lot to talk about, and if I didn't get going to work on my final sample, and then the plans I had for us afterwards, I'd never leave. I pulled away slowly even though I didn't want to. "So, I'll see you tonight?"

Spencer gave a soft smile, and I could see it was as hard for her as it was for me. "I'll see you tonight."

"Good. Because I want to give you more of these." I knew I caught her off guard, pulling her in close, leaving a deep, soft, lingering kiss on her lips before I left. That was the first of many to come.

* * *

It took well over two hours to finalize the sample I'd produced for Josie Hemmingway. Nerves were starting to set in as I listened to the song over and over again, trying to find errors, place for improvement, until finally Aiden and Sean begged me to go home.

There wasn't much time left to practice my own song, but I was happy with the four times I got to run through it. I knew the words by heart anyway.

After several phone calls and endless arrangements for our night out, I could finally relax.

I crashed down on my sofa, smiling. Spencer may have thought that the gala was going to be the main event of the night, but I had other plans for us. _Us_. It felt odd to think like that. But good. I mused at how the blonde could draw smiles out of me without even being here. It reminded me just how hard I've fallen for her. Even _that_ was an interesting thought. Just two weeks ago I had strangers in my bed every night.

 _Oh, God, need to get new sheets!_

I remembered the first night we met – how I was so taken by her beauty that I couldn't even form proper sentences. It felt like years ago – Spencer made it feel like we've known each other for a lifetime, yet every time I looked at her, it was as if I saw her for the first time. Every time my heart would either skip beats or stop altogether.

It was hard to believe that I'd found someone who more or less put up with me. I knew I wasn't an easy person. Spencer still had to learn a lot about me. But I've noticed that the more time we spent together, the easier it was for both of us to just be. I've come to terms with the fact that Spencer had a personality disorder, and I knew we still had to sit down and talk about all of it, but it was easier now, to handle it. She barely had any episodes while we were at the ranch. It was something we could work on, together. The same way we would get to know _me_ , together.

And I had the perfect way to tell her all these thoughts – I may have trouble pouring my heart out to girls because well, I never _do_ it, but the one way I _could_ let my heart speak was through my music. So the song I've been working on since I met Spencer would be my way of telling her how I felt. About her. About us.

I closed my eyes, drifting into a peaceful nap with the local radio station in the background sowing seeds of love phrases across the state.

 _"I'm gonna pick up the pieces and build a Lego house, if things go wrong we can knock it down…"_

Two weeks ago I would have rushed to change stations, or worse, throw the radio out the window. But now…

Spencer Carlin made love songs bearable.

* * *

"Ashley Davies, New York's most eligible womanizer, in an evening gown?"

I shot Aiden a warning glance and tossed him my car keys. "If you scratch her, you're dead."

I begged Aiden to play chauffeur for the night. As a reward, he was allowed to drive my Porsche, and I promised him some concert tickets. And of course, a small incentive once we got Josie Hemmingway signed. He was very persuasive like that.

We both got in, and after giving him Spencer's address, we fell into a light conversation about the gala and the blonde.

"So are you guys serious then?" Aiden asked playfully. He already knew most of the details of the two days at the ranch.

"Well, planning to. That's what tonight is all about. I'm literally going out on a limb here to woo her. Would you ever have thought?"

Aiden snorted. "Hell no. You know the entire NY female population is going to be very pissed after tonight. Are you going to make this public, so by the way? I mean, at least not hide it?"

I frowned. "Why would I hide it?"

"Well, you _do_ know that you and Spencer are only together because of the Josie deal…"

I had to disagree. "Aid, it might have been the _reason_ we starting dating or whatever that was – but whatever this is now, is definitely not because of that."

"Does Spencer know?"

I swallowed hard. "No… I don't think it's relevant. Now quit it, we're here. I'm going out to get her, okay? Not a word, Aiden."

He nodded in agreement and waited in the car while I got out to meet Spencer by the front steps of her building.

She literally took my breath away. The blue dress with open back and halter neck really suited Spencer perfectly. Her eyes stood out, her hair was pulled back into a French twist braid, and her heels were just high enough to match my height.

"You look… stunning." I couldn't even find the words as I stared at her.

Spencer smiled softly and strolled towards me. "So do you, Ms Davies."

Now, I knew I looked hot. Dressed in an off-white halter, showing off my tan skin and dark curls, I definitely knew how good I looked. But there was a difference between confidently hot, and just breathtakingly beautiful. And though Spencer was hot in her own right, the words just didn't do her justice tonight. She deserved the praise and respect you'd give a queen.

I reached out towards her and pulled her closer to me. I couldn't help it. My lips crashed into hers and I stole her breath. She just did these things to me.

It took a moment for us to pull ourselves together and come up for air. "Ash…" Spencer panted.

I smiled deviously, knowing what I had in store for her later. "Shall we?"

* * *

The venue was packed. I gave Spencer's hand a tight squeeze as we entered the foyer and made our way into the banquet hall. I loved the way we made heads turn, for more reasons than one. There were a lot of women I knew would probably be upset now that I was taken – I've certainly had my fair share of being ogled over and hit on by half our female staff, let alone artists. But that didn't bother me at all. I was gloating more because the most beautiful woman in the room was taken, by me. The people could stare all they want, after tonight, Spencer was mine.

I was surprised when a couple of journalists came over to us, but as they started chatting to Spencer – they knew each other through work – it gave me a chance to let go for a moment and get us something to drink.

"Davies."

The voice put a slight damper on my good mood, but I wasn't going to let them ruin my night. In fact, I was here to ruin _theirs_.

"Matheson," I breathed in, her perfume nearly choking me. I turned around from the bar to face her.

Carmen Mendez joined in, faking a smile. "Congratulations."

I couldn't help my smugness. They had really underestimated me. Ashley Davies would _always_ be good with girls _and_ music. "Why, thank you."

"You got her here…" Carmen Matheson started.

"But the question remains, does she or doesn't she?" Mendez finished for her.

I couldn't help but chuckle at their childishness. My eyes scanned the room and finally landed on Spencer, and I felt my heart beat a little faster. She really _was_ the most beautiful woman in the room. "Well, I guess we'll find out, won't we?" I wasn't worried at all. I knew how Spencer felt about me. I didn't need to prove anything to the Carmens or even to Arthur.

But we had an arrangement, and I was here to rub it in their faces.

"She _is_ pretty," Carmen Mendez commented as her eyes followed mine. I nodded in agreement, but of course, nothing coming from the M &M twins was ever innocent. "But looks like you've got some competition."

This time I laughed in her face. "I wouldn't be so sure about that, Mendez. We're pretty solid."

Was I jealous that Spencer was laughing and having fun with other people? Of course. Was I going to let the Carmens get to me? Never.

I excused myself and moved over to another section of the bar to place my order for two glasses of champagne – we had a lot to celebrate, after all. I wasn't going to let the snide comments from Carmen upset me.

Another familiar voice soon interrupted my thoughts, but this time it was more welcoming.

"We've got to stop meeting like this."

I turned to face the infamous Josie Hemmingway and smiled. "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name?"

Josie laughed and mimicked my moves when we first met. She reached out for my hand and kissed it softly. "Josie Hemmingway."

Any other day the flirting would have increased my libido, but now it just made me uncomfortable. I pulled back and tried to locate Spencer in the crowds of people. When my eyes finally landed on her, still talking to the other journalists, I finally relaxed.

Josie followed my gaze and smiled. "You've got to introduce me to her later. She seems special."

I couldn't help but agree. "Yeah, she really is."

"So I take it she is also the girl who's been the inspiration behind the amazing production of my song?"

I've stopped arguing with myself about it and had to agree with Arthur and Josie – Spencer really was my muse. "That is correct. Her name is Spencer. I'm sure she'd love to meet you – maybe after dinner?"

I wasn't trying to get out of it, I just really wanted to get to my girl now. The bartender had already handed me our drinks and I felt nervous not being close to Spencer. I was going to feel nervous until I finally told her how I felt, and asked her to be my girlfriend. But until that happened, she was technically still a single, free, woman. _That_ thought alone made me _very_ nervous.

Josie seemed to pick up on it and frowned at me. "Is everything okay?"

No, it wasn't.

I was still here, and Spencer was over there. And Arthur, of all people, was now with her, alone.

 _Oh, God, the moment of truth…_

"I'm sorry, Josie, please excuse me – I'll catch up later, okay?"

I didn't even wait for a response.

* * *

My heart was hammering hard against my chest now. I've lost sight of Spencer and Arthur, and with the venue so packed, it was difficult to pinpoint even where _I_ was. I moved around in a frenzy, hoping to catch a glimpse of her blonde hair.

"So, what's the verdict?" Aiden had managed to come out of nowhere and stopped me in my tracks. Being taller, it was probably easier for him to see what was going on around him.

I wasn't surprised when Sean came up behind him. They really thought they were oblivious – but it was quite the opposite. "When are the two of you just going to come out of that big, walk-in closets of yours?"

The surprise on their faces were priceless.

"You _know_?" Aiden asked me, clearly shocked.

I feigned offense. "Aiden, how long have we known each other? The two of you are so obvious it's sickening."

"Oh, shit. I really thought we were being careful," Sean said thoughtfully.

I wanted to question them on their secrecy, but getting to Spencer was more important to me.

"Ashley!"

I groaned. Why, universe, _why_? All I wanted was to get to –

"Josie loves her music, I love the song, and Spencer loves you. Congratulations, Davies. The account is yours." Arthur stopped right in front of me, pulling me in for a quick hug. "I told you, you'd might hate me back then, but aren't you happy now?"

I had to agree, Arthur was right, as always.

"Go get her, tiger. She's lovely, by the way." Arthur winked and let me go in a hurry, probably on his way to the stage to get things started.

I was stunned. I knew that this was how it was going to be, but it felt strange to hear it. Spencer Carlin really loved me? Loved _me_? I was touched.

"Hell yes! Congrats babe!" Aiden exclaimed the minute Arthur was out of earshot.

"Congrats, Ash!" Sean mimicked.

I was still too much in a daze to properly respond. She really loved me!

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear – are you the new producer for Josie Hemmingway?"

I turned to face a lady in her mid fifties. She was tall, with blonde hair, almost identical to Spencer's.

Spencer. I could feel a smile creep up my face as I finally laid eyes on my girl again. It was all starting to sink in. "She loves me…"

"Good for you! And," the lady turned and tried to follow my gaze, "good for… whoever she is!"

I chuckled, and was really determined now to get to Spencer. "Excuse me, ma'am, but there is a beautiful young woman in a blue dress that I really have to get to." I pointed towards Spencer, thankful that I had found her.

"Oh! Spencer?"

I frowned. "Yes, she's my girl. Sorry, do you two know each other?"

The lady laughed. " _Know_ each other?" She reached out and greeted me formally. "I'm Paula. Spencer's my How-To girl!"

I was dumbfounded. Her _what?_ "How-To?"

Paula chuckled at my expense. "Yes, for IN-NY magazine. She's the resident How-To writer."

I felt like an idiot. Of course. But wait… _Spencer_ wrote those articles? I never read the magazine but I remembered making fun of Carmen and Aiden about reading that crap. When my eyes landed on the blonde again, I felt really bad for dissing her work. No wonder she hardly talked about it.

"Right now, she's writing an article called _How to lose a girl in 10 days_. And this poor smug she's pretending to date…"

My heart stopped.

"…well, not even _pretending_ to date, she _is_ actually dating the girl!"

I couldn't believe this. Not Spencer. I found it hard to breathe. Every word that left Paula's mouth were like daggers to my chest. I tried to remember how we met – if there were any signs that Spencer could have made a mistake, or maybe Paula had her mistaken for someone else…

"She's doing the most atrocious things to her. She's actually gone so far as to meet the girl's family to create some more havoc… and…"

Paula finally slowed down.

I couldn't find any words. Not to shut her up. Not to defend myself. Not to protect my family.

"…Oh, you're…"

Yes. _I_ was the smug idiot. _I_ was the unfortunate victim of the vindictive blonde's How-To crap.

"Ashley." My name was silent on Paula's lips as she stared at me in pity.

I felt numb. How _dared_ she? The love I felt just seconds ago was replaced by something far more heartbreaking. Anger. Betrayal. Regret.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Arthur, and The Label hereby welcomes you…"

A painful stab and an unfamiliar heaviness settled over my chest. Tears welled up. A lump formed in my throat. I couldn't even look at Paula anymore, or anyone, for that matter. Was this what it felt like to finally fall in love only to get your heart ripped apart?


	18. How To: Have your heart shattered

**A/N : Sorry (not really!)for the cliffhanger… but I kind of enjoyed the mixed reactions! I've decided to post the next Spencer chapter so long, the Ashley counterpart for the next set is not complete yet, but given what was revealed in the previous chapter, I think it's just fair that this is an equal fight!**

 **Thanks for all the reads and reviews!**

 **FufuTheFallenAngel – CH16/17 : Your guess was spot-on; of course we had to have a bit of drama after all the lovey-doveyness :) So the night doesn't end well, and this chapter reveals why. Both heartbreaks up! Thanks for the review!**

 **Southtrash – CH17 : It happened this way unintentionally, but by the time I stopped writing, it was intentional! Thanks for the review – here's part 2 of the chaos!**

 **Amy-rb9207 – CH17 : Thanks for the review – here's a little bit more so long!**

 **Guest – CH16 : You had that right! That little tidbit about knowing will be revealed a little later on. Need to keep juice to keep the story going! Thanks for the review!**

 **Guest – CH17 : I'm so glad you had a lump in your throat – it means the story/writing is working! Hope you're okay though hehe. The chaos is far from over, here's a little bit more to indulge in. Thanks for the review!**

 **Melirufus – CH16/17 : Yip, you guessed it (CH16) – when things goes too well, something's bound to give in. And enter CH17 in all its chaotic glory! Please don't cry, unless it's from emotional overload! Sorry this update is a couple of hours later, but technically this one shouldn't even be up yet. It's all fair in love and war though… and it needs to be an equal fight! So without further ado…**

 **Thanks for the review!**

 **Guest – CH17 : Unfortunately the chapters worked out unequally so you only got to see the Ashley part. But here is Spencer's little discovery… and it ain't pretty! Thanks for the review!**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To : Have your heart shattered**

Ashley made me feel like the only person in the room. I felt her soft eyes on me, a gentle smile curving her lips as she let go of my hand and offered to get us drinks from the bar. I was grateful – it was somewhat intimidating being at this venue, filled with producers, musicians, reputable journalists, and of course, my boss. I wasn't ready to face her yet after I'd submitted my article – there had been some minor changes from the last notes I'd sent through to her. Chances were she was probably not even going to read it until after it went to print. My ass was on the line and the longer I could prolong facing the music, the better.

"Spencer Carlin in the flesh!"

I turned, and smiled at an old friend from university – we went to NYU together. "Jamie! Wow, it's great to see you here!"

We used to study together and always compared notes after grueling seminars – in the form of strong coffee, maybe some alcohol – depending on the time of day, or hookah. Yeah, I had some interesting friends back in the day.

"I can say the same, Carlin! So? What brings you here?" Jamie persisted. She tugged on a guy's arm and ordered him to get her some drinks.

 _Must be the new boyfriend_ , I mused. I smiled at her and scanned the bar area until my eyes landed on Ashley. I couldn't help when my breath hitched just a little. She was definitely the hottest woman in the room.

"Ooh, nice catch! Date for the night?"

I blushed. "Well, no, yes, we're working on it… you know, to date. I also work for IN-NY."

"I saw! I _love_ your articles – but it's not quite _you_ though."

I nodded in agreement. "Oh, don't I know _that_. Hopefully after Tuesday things will change a little. Well, it has to, otherwise I need to move on." I shocked myself at my own words, but once they escaped my mouth, I knew it was the truth. Paula couldn't keep me on this promise-trip forever.

"Brave, but I must admit, you never settled for less. Good for you, Spencer. So… do tell about hotty over there!"

I noticed the two ladies who'd met up with Paula in the beginning stages of negotiation for the Rising Stars section riling Ashley up. If there was one thing I learned about the brunette over the past ten days, it was reading her body language. I wondered what they were talking about.

"Well, she's a producer, for The Label. We met about two weeks ago. And uh, well, we kind of hit it off!" I didn't really know what more to say. There wasn't much I _could_ say.

Or so I thought.

"Spencer Carlin, are you in _love_?"

My eyes shot wide. "What?" I already knew I was, but was pretty confident that I kept that under the radar! Was I _that_ obvious?

"Come on, I can see it in the way you're looking at her!"

I knew I was blushing. It was no use trying to hide it from Jamie, she knew me too well. But I had to keep some sort of control over myself, at least until the night was over and I could talk to Ashley. So the only way I thought I could keep my emotions in check, or hide, or hide behind it, was to indulge in some alcohol. And that's what I did. I grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing butler, and swallowed the contents in one swoop.

By the time I was on my third, I realized I'd lost Jamie, and had instead become friends with the staff. Who all too happily served me champagne. It was damn good too.

Ashley was still over at the bar, now chatting to Josie Hemmingway. I couldn't help but notice how the artist flirted with my girlfriend. _Ugh, not your girlfriend yet!_

Whatever. I tried to erase seeing the artist kissing Ashley's hand and played it off as a greeting.

I was jealous. And hurt.

And maybe, just maybe… somewhat tipsy.

I really wished Ashley would come get me now. I missed her arms around me, her hand on my lower back, her breath raising the hairs in my neck.

I debated marching over to the bar or finding our table. It was becoming a difficult task to decide, especially since I've now lost sight of Ashley altogether. I really hoped that skanky artist wasn't trying any moves on my girl. Ashley was… still single. _And a player_.

"You must be Spencer."

Huh?

I glanced down at the place card in my hand, and realized I was, indeed, Spencer.

The aging gentleman in front of me gave a warming smile and stuck out his hand. "I'm Arthur, I own The Label."

I took in his features and felt a slight pang as the resemblance between him and my father hit home. And then I also remembered who he really was. "Oh! I'm sorry, you're Ashley's boss!"

He gave a gentle laugh and held my slightly trembling hand still in his. "It's such a pleasure to finally meet you."

My infamous blush made its appearance. "It's a pleasure to meet _you_ , sir."

"So," Arthur said, sipping from his champagne glass. "I understand you've been quite the inspiration to Ashley lately. It's been an absolute delight working with her the past two weeks." He paused for a second and gave another warm smile. "And I must say, you look quite _inspired_ yourself – if you catch my drift."

Inspired? No. Inebriated? Yes.

"Ashley is a very lucky young lady," Arthur laughed knowingly. "Don't break her heart."

And with that, he left me to wonder how everybody knew how I felt about her, except Ashley herself. And where _was_ Ashley? And why did everybody think I was going to break her heart?

I should probably have stopped with the champagne to sober up on my overwhelming emotions, but when I still couldn't see her anywhere, the bar now empty, my heart started feeling heavy. I glanced around anxiously, trying to see if Ashley was maybe with friends or anybody else I knew. My eyes landed on Aiden and Sean, Ashley's two sound engineers, and those other ladies who'd riled her up earlier. They were hushed in a corner, looking to discuss something serious. It only made me more nervous. Especially since the two engineers were now on their way to me.

This was not how I wanted this night to turn out. I sighed and slid into my designated chair.

 _Please don't tell me Ashley is doing something with Josie, please, please, please_.

I scolded myself for thinking that, inebriated or not. If Ashley and Josie were missing together, it was probably because they were sorting out the music. Why would I ever think that Ashley would hurt me? After everything we've gone through?

I should really have stopped drinking – immediately.

"Spencer, hey!"

Aiden was a crappy actor. He was hiding something. They both looked very uncomfortable.

"Aiden, Sean," I breathed out, sitting upright in my chair. Place card still in my hand, as if trying to remind myself who I was. Well, I had alcohol in the other hand… it made sense.

They both pulled out chairs next to me, and when Aiden cleared his throat, I knew something was definitely up.

"So uhm, Arthur is going to come over and ask you, and it would be really great if you can just pretend you know nothing about the bet."

Say _what?!_

What the hell was he _talking_ about? I feared for a moment that I was already _so_ drunk that I was imagining things. "I'm sorry, can you just – "

Sean interrupted. "What he _meant_ to say is; when Arthur gets here… if you can just convince him that you really, truly love Ashley, and you didn't just pretend so that she could win the bet… it would be really great."

I was still not too sure what they were getting at. Or maybe I _was_ , but I was freaking out a bit after feeling drunk and _wishing_ I was delirious, and _being_ delirious. I didn't know which would be better right now.

Aiden and Sean left me to interpret the bomb they just dropped on me by myself.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Arthur, and The Label hereby welcomes you…"

I spun around and faced the stage where Arthur had started the evening's proceedings. Still no sign of Ashley.

Well, if she knew what was good for her now, she _didn't_ want me to find her. I was trying really hard to suppress the sudden wave of emotions that hit me as I finally realized what Aiden and Sean had just told me. Ashley Davies had been playing me all along. She _used_ me.

"… tonight is a very special night. As one of the top record labels in the country we have recognized the need to support the publicity of our artists – especially our female artists – and making them the stars they deserve to be. So in collaboration with IN-NY magazine, which I'm sure needs no introduction… "

Have I ever told you the story where Spencer Carlin got drunk and her heart broken at the same time? No?

Well, here's what happened next.

I heard Arthur mention something about an opening act for Josie, or some musical item coming up next. At the very same time I saw microphones on the stage.

With so many thoughts and emotions rushing through this terribly unstable, intoxicated mind, I couldn't really decide whether I was being a genius, or really brave and stupid.

If Ashley wasn't going to come out of hiding after crushing me like this, I would pull her from wherever she was, and just humiliate her in return. And hurt her, where it mattered. In front of all these people. Just like she was doing to me.

I rushed up to the DJ on the side of the stage, and handed him my phone after scrolling through the _Ashley_ -playlist I'd made earlier while finishing my article. And it just suddenly came to me that I had found that song for a reason. It was as if Ashley had written it for _me_. For _us_.

"Ladies and gentlemen," I stumbled onto the stage, microphone in hand. "I'm apologizing on behalf of the opening act, they will be replaced by a very talented, _very_ imperious young artist… Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Ashley Davies!"

There was a generous applause and some surprised reactions. I still had no idea where she was, but I didn't care. The DJ could play the song, with or without her on stage. I just didn't care. I nodded to him to hit _Play_ , and soon the room was filled with an acoustic intro riff of Ashley Davies' _She Hates Me._

A brunette form blurred past me, and I admired Ashley for being able to run _that_ fast on her high heels. She literally came out of nowhere. Instead of stopping the song, she surprised me by grabbing another microphone.

This was incredulous. I couldn't believe how egoistic this girl was! Was she actually going to blow her own horn and sing her song on stage?

 _Well, whatever, I'm out of here._

My work here was done. " Ashley Davies, people!"

I turned to leave but a strong hand gripped my arm. "Oh no, I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, this song is actually a duet, which I'm sure my friend, _Spencer_ , here, has memorized the lyrics quite well over the past couple of days."

She threw me a dangerous look and I snorted. "Oh, yeah, let's duet this then." I was far too drunk to care. As far as I was concerned, I would never see any of these people again. Ashley and I was over. Paula was probably going to fire me. And, well, that's who I knew. Other than Jamie, who probably pretended that she had no idea who I was right now.

Ashley started off.

 _"Met a girl, thought she was grand_

 _Fell in love, found out first hand_

 _Went well for a week or two_

 _Then it all came unglued – "_

I couldn't wait to cut her off and recite her own lyrics to the stunned audience.

 _"In a trap,_

 _Trip I can't grab_

 _Never thought I'd be the one who'd slam_

 _Then I started to realize_

 _I was living one big lie"_

We were both fighting out these dirty secrets without anyone really knowing what was going on. And as if things couldn't get any more bittersweet, without so much as agreeing to it, I heard Ashley's voice over my own as we hit the chorus simultaneously.

 _"She fucking hates me!_

 _Just she fucking hates me!_

 _I try too hard and_

 _She tore my feelings like I had none_

 _And ripped them away"_

Wasn't it ironic, that we agreed on that? I continued with the next verse, cutting Ashley off again.

 _"She was queen for about an hour_

 _After that she got sour_

 _She took all I ever had_

 _No sign of guilt no feeling the pain no"_

The tears started flowing, I just couldn't stop them anymore. My voice died in my throat as I stared at the woman who held my heart – correction, who _stole_ my heart, ripped it to pieces, and then ruthlessly tossed it out to the very shocked entourage in front of us; and she just continued with the song as if this was what she was meant to do. She actually sang her heart out.

 _"That's my story_

 _As you see_

 _Learned my lesson and so did she_

 _Now it's over and I'm glad_

 _'_ _cause I'm a fool_

 _For all I've said…"_

When she saw that I wasn't singing anymore, she stopped, letting the rest of the song play along while we played a staring game.

I cracked first.

The front doors and cool midnight air couldn't hit my drunkenness soon enough as I raced outside, trying to get away from the pain as quick as possible. But no matter how fast I ran, it followed. _She_ followed.

"Spencer! Stop! I'm not done with you!"

If it wasn't for the heels numbing my feet, I would have carried on, and never looked back.

But I had to be realistic. Evening gown, high heels, explicitly drunk, and absolutely shattered to the point where there were no shards left of my heart to be broken any more, I had to stop. I was panting, doubling over, wishing the world could just swallow me in.

"Oh, but I'm done with _you_ , Ashley Davies!"


	19. How To: Pick up the pieces

**A/N : And… here's the Ashley chapter to go with the previous Spencer-chapter. I know it might feel a bit out of sync now (it does for me with all the cliffhangers), but it's not, I promise!**

 **I'll respond to all the amazing reviews in my next update :) Thanks for reading!**

* * *

 **Ashley**

 **How To : Pick up the pieces**

"Spencer! Stop! I'm not done with you!"

She carried on down a few more steps until she finally stumbled, doubling over, catching her breath. "Oh, but I'm done with _you_ , Ashley Davies!"

Done with _me_? She had some nerve! "What the fuck was that back there, Spencer?" I demanded, stopping in front of her. "Wait, no, don't tell me. Let the alcohol speak – because clearly you can't!"

Her stumbling was a painful reminder of what had just gone down inside the venue. After Paula's revelation, things have gone from bad to total chaos in the matter of seconds. I had to watch as this drunken version of Spencer had gone up stage, hijacked the show, and completely humiliated me.

"Fuck you, Davies!" she yelled through tears still streaming down her cheeks. "You _used_ me to get ahead in your work, you arrogant, selfish, _bitch_!" she spat out. She arched her back, standing up straight, fists clenched.

I realized that she must have found out about the Josie Hemmingway deal. But what she did was way worse. Nothing she did or said could ever make me forgive her.

" _Excuse_ me? You drove me half insane just for a fucking magazine article! And you _humiliated_ me, Spencer! Time and time again! I can't believe – "

She cut me off, still screaming. I was thankful that our audience was down to a minimum – only Aiden and Sean was outside. "You told people you could make any girl fall in love with you and I was just the lucky bimbo in your way!" She paused, then frowned. "I told you about the article! I _told_ you, Ashley, and you said that you knew! You said you knew and it was going to be okay!"

Wait, _what?_ Was she delusional too, on top of being such a deceiving, conniving liar?

"When? When did you tell me, and when did I _ever_ say it was okay for you to use me like this? You used my _family_ , Spencer! When – "

"When you let me fuck you!"

Her words shocked both of us into stunned silence. But while Spencer would most probably not even remember what she said a couple of hours later, I knew this night was one for the books. This would be the night that broke me.

I gasped for words for a second. She may be a writer and have wit and have a way with words, but she was not going to have her way with me, not with my heart.

"Well, I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, Spencer Carlin. And I hope the pity fuck in return was just as good. Because that's what it was. You know… all this time, I thought you had a mental problem. Actually you just confirmed for me that you really _do_ have one. So I felt sorry for you – that's all that this ever was. I _pitied_ you. And I still do. You're fucking pathetic."

I noticed her flinch and felt a bit of my dignity return.

" _I'm_ the pathetic one?" she recovered quickly with a sneer. "Ashley, you have nothing! You _are_ nothing! You have to sleep with people and pretend to be something you're not just to do your job! Just so people can _like_ you. And _I'm_ the pathetic one?"

I was close to shove her down the last flight of steps. It wouldn't require much – she was already unstable on her feet. But I had to remind myself that I was better than this. Than _her_. She was grasping at bubbles of meaningless words in the air. Nothing she said was valid.

"Yeah? So do you recommend I rather take on multiple personalities and make up endless lies? Did that make people _like_ you any better, Spencer? Humor me here – which one am I talking to now anyway? I saw drunk Spencer in there. I've already gotten to know the 'pity-me' version at the ranch. Oh, hey, wait, let me not forget – what about the one at the movies who got me punched in the face? Or the one that drove me to almost poison myself?"

"How was that _my_ fault? Don't blame your bad culinary skills on me, Davies – "

That was it. I was about to explode. "I did it on purpose! _You_ were supposed to eat that rice!" I finally yelled. I felt so much pent up anger at her lame attempts to hurt me even more than she already did, that I just couldn't anymore. I'd do anything to just make her feel a _fraction_ of the pain I did. I didn't care what I said anymore.

And by the way her face fell, I knew I finally managed to crack through that heartless soul of hers. Good. _Let her feel the fucking sting_.

"Well, I'm so sorry that you wanted this job _so_ much that you couldn't even pull _that_ off," she replied coldly. Gone were the tears and screaming and sarcasm.

"You need help, Carlin. Go write your little story, go be famous for a day when people read how delusive you are. But please, do the population of New York a favor, and just get some fucking help."

I was exhausted. I couldn't fight with her anymore. I turned around to go back inside and try to fix what had been her undoing on my career, but I had to make sure that she knew how over this was. "Oh, and congratulations on the success of your experiment. You just lost a girl in ten days."

I didn't expect her to be so impassive, but I didn't really care anymore. "You can't lose what you never had, Ashley."

* * *

 _Bzzz-Bzzz… Bzzz-Bzzz…_

I groaned and opened my heavy eyelids, feeling completely disorientated. It took a moment to realize that I was in my bedroom, head hanging off the foot point of my bed. Actually… _half my body_ was hanging off my bed.

Something moved close to my feet on the other side, and I finally flexed and pulled myself up. The head rush was unbearable, but it felt better than the dull ache. It even felt better than the constant aching I felt in my chest.

"Your phone's going crazy."

I grabbed the annoying item from protruded hands and mumbled a hoarse ' _thanks'_. I wasn't really looking forward to see who'd been texting me so persistently.

 **09:01AM – Aiden Dennison: Ash, just checking in. Are U home safe?**

 **11:23AM – Aiden Dennison: Please let me know if UR OK**

 **11:56AM – Aiden Dennison: Ashley…**

 **13:11PM – Voicemail: You have 5 new voice messages from: Aiden Dennison**

 **14:32PM – Sean Miller: Ash, sorry babe. Let us know if you're OK**

 **14:44PM – Aiden Dennison: Davies, do you want me to call your parents?**

 **15:08PM – Aiden Dennison: I'm calling Arthur**

 **17:12PM – Sean Miller: Babe, please let us know that you're at least alive**

Oh.

I looked up with a frown, confused.

"You deleted them all."

Oh.

"Are you going to get up this time? You've been sleeping since this morning. I need to get back home."

Oh.

For the first time in my life, the thought of being alone stung a little. I felt panic rise in my chest when she got up. "Please, stay, just a couple more minutes? I'm ready to talk now. Please, just don't leave me." Floodgates opened, and it surprised me. Where did the tears come from? And why?

Kyla let out a frustrated sigh and plunged back down on my messy bed. "Ash… I hate seeing you like this. What the hell happened?"

I desperately wiped at the tears, wishing them away. I've never cried like this before.

Sensing my uncomfortable agony, my younger sister surprised me by pulling me into a tight hug. It didn't last long – it felt awkward and strange since we've never been in such a situation before – but she ultimately knew how to be there for me in her own way. "Come on, let's get out of this depressing room of yours. I may have stopped at R&D's for some bagels earlier…"

For a good couple of hours I feared that I might never laugh or smile again, but Kyla, being a replica of our sweet mother, knew how to instill some hope back into me. Even though it was with food. Good food…

She sat me down on a sofa, opened the balcony doors for fresh air, and finally plopped down next to me, cross-legged, looking at me intently.

"Okay, so here's the deal. You get one cup of coffee – and I'm sorry but you'll have to drink it black because you've been throwing up this morning. And one toasted bagel. You can decide whether you want to add cream cheese. And then you're going to tell me what happened. And only thereafter, I will allow you to have more."

God, I loved my sister sometimes. We never used to get along this well until we were seniors in high school. Kyla's one year younger than me, but when I think back, you'd swear she was the older, more sensible sister. It was still like that. Only now, I never got into trouble anymore, and _if_ I did, no-one would ever find out.

"It's a deal," I finally agreed with another small smile.

Kyla seemed thrilled and helped herself to some food and coffee. "So," she started through small bites of her bagel. "I get this rather disturbing phone call at 2AM this morning, from a very distraught and drunk sister. And I shit myself, because I'm all the way in Baltimore at Jim's parents' house..."

I vaguely remembered making a phone call. I couldn't remember much after I went out on a drinking spree – I didn't even know how I got home or when and how Kyla got in.

"So first thing in the morning, like 5AM, I explain to Jim that something's happened, and make him swear on his life that he won't tell mom and dad, and drive all the way here, to find you passed out with some girl in your bed."

 _Oh no, oh no_ … I dropped my head in shame. What the fuck have I done?

Kyla noticed and gave my knee a tight squeeze. "She said that you guys just got in, so I take it, wait, I _hope_ , nothing had happened."

I had to ask. "Was it – "

Kyla shook her head sadly. "It wasn't Spencer. In fact, in between waking up, throwing up, and crying, you've been deleting text messages and avoiding her phone calls all morning."

I didn't really remember any of it. I felt utterly ashamed of myself.

"Ash.. what the hell happened? You guys were sickeningly in love when you left the ranch and 24 hours later you're ready to star on Divorce Court?"

It would have been funny if it didn't hurt so much. Where would I even start telling Kyla what's been going on the past two weeks? Do I tell her everything? Do I tell her only what happened last night – the parts I could remember… do I tell her –

"Ash, start with last night. We can go into details later," Kyla prompted gently, as if reading my mind.

She reminded me so much of my mother, and I loved her for it.

I took a deep, shaky breath, feeling an all-too familiar sting in my chest as I revisited the night that broke me.

* * *

I wasn't exactly innocent in all of this. I've hurt Spencer probably as much as she's hurt me – less all the humiliation. And I wasn't proud of it.

I recalled our heated argument outside the venue and I really wished I could take back all the things I've said, but I was so _angry_ , and so _disappointed_ , and it was way too late now anyway. But I _did_ regret it, even though I didn't feel like forgiving the blonde was on the cards any time soon.

"It's just, everything is tainted now, Ky. She's _every_ where. That's why I never do this shit. I just don't get it. I can't even go home to the ranch – and it was my own fault that I allowed that. It feels like I have to redo my whole apartment to get rid of her."

Kyla stared at me with wide eyes. "Ash, look, I understand – gosh, I understand you so much better now, I mean, the whole non-dating thing and your stance on things. But there are some things that I think you've not yet allowed yourself to understand. You're dissing love, one of the greatest gifts any human can ever experience, based on these kind of fears – which is valid, I won't deny that. But if you never allow yourself to have that… Ash, then you will end up living a very lonely life."

I sighed. I've had this discussion with Kyla before. Previously she obviously didn't understand – she's never seen me with a broken heart before. I've never had to go through something like this before – because I knew how to protect myself from it.

Giving in and falling for Spencer was a weakness – I should've just never had let it happen. If there were no feelings involved and the truth had to come out the same way it did, neither of us would have gotten hurt.

But I couldn't deny how good she made me feel. And inspired – _so_ inspired that I started writing songs again.

Shit.

I just remembered that I never cancelled the arrangements at the park and that I had to go pick up my guitar. So much for wanting to woo someone…

"Are you going to be okay on your own?" Kyla was really a great sister.

I did my best to offer a smile, and pulled her into a gratified hug. "I don't know. But I _do_ know that if you hadn't come here, Ky, things would have turned out a lot worse."

Kyla returned the hug. "Don't think for a second that you're done crying, Ash. It's going to hurt, and it's going to last a while. Give yourself some time. Go do something you haven't done in a while, or just get out of town for a day or two. Let the dust settle before you make any rash decisions."

"I will never forgive her – "

"Never is a long time, sis."

"I know. But I can try."

Kyla just gave me a sad smile before slinging her bag onto her shoulder, and planted a chaste kiss on my forehead. "Take care, okay? And phone me, Ash. I really do appreciate that you called me."

Kyla wasn't wrong about the crying. Tears were already welled up in my eyes and a lump was stuck in my throat. "Thanks for coming all the way out here, and for everything, Ky. I love you, and let me know when you're back home safely, okay?"

* * *

Going back to sleep, alone, where _she'd_ previously been, was difficult. I couldn't understand why this was so hard and so painful. We didn't even know each other for that long. And most of that time, I wanted to kill her. Gently. With kisses and love.

 _Ugh!_

The tears wasn't going to stop – Kyla was definitely right about that. So I just let it flow, and allowed myself to remember the good times one last time. Maybe that would help me sleep. I wasn't ready for another alcohol-induced night again – I had to try and get some sleep like a normal person. Not to mention, I had to show face at work on Monday.

Which was another reason to cry.

I hated my life. And love. And Spencer Carlin.

But I missed her. Oh, God, I missed her so much.


	20. How To: Lose a girl in 10 days

**A/N: To say WOW again is kind of an understated expression, but it's the only non-profane expression I could think of to write when I saw all the reviews after the last 2 chapters! AMAZING! Thank you all so much!**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing and reading some more! It's really a great motivator to just see the view/visitor poll rise every day! If I could I would write 24/7! But I would die if I can't have coffee breaks so unfortunately it's out of the question ;)**

 **Let me not take up more of your reading time; the list of** ** _thank yous_** **is quite long and I'm sure everybody is eager to know what happens next!**

 **Anjela78 – CH18 : I love your simplistic view especially where the girls should just go to the ranch already and get married and have cute kids! If only life was that simple! I know I'm revealing a bit here but unfortunately the ending – or that kind of ending, is not on the cards yet, there is still a couple more chapters to go before I'm letting you all breathe again! Thank you for your beautiful review and wishes – hope your day/night is as fantastic – I will do my bit by enlightening it with a new chapter :)**

 **Mukyti – CH18 : I definitely agree that cliff-hangers make good stories – they're the best parts! Most people would disagree and say that happy endings are the best, but I don't like endings, because that means… no more story! Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **amy-rb9207 – CH18/9 : Thank you for reading and reviewing – here is the next update – I wish I could update more often but I have to do that other thing called 'life' – I know, right? It totally sucks not to write all the time!**

 **SaraQueen2020 – CH18 : I tried to get CH19 out there as soon as possible, and… here is CH20! Enjoy!** **Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **Melirufus – CH18/9 : You have very good reason to feel nervous (CH18) – obviously the finding out was just the tip of the iceberg – how the girls deal with the news is an entire different story – even** ** _more_** **reason to feel nervous (CH19)! I wish I could update more often but I guess it's quite evident by now that I don't have that kind of superpowers :( But I'm working on it! Enjoy CH20!** **Thank you for reading and reviewing, you are awesome!**

 **totaleclipse9110 – CH18 : I hope CH19 was quick enough, and… CH20 just a couple of lines down! Thank you for being such an amazing fan – it really warms my heart to know that I'm doing something right here! Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **ChezzLove – CH18 : I wouldn't exactly deny that I'm playing with emotions here… but don't you just love feeling that plunge and then not know what's at the bottom? By now you should have read CH19 as well (was that quick enough of an update? ;P) – and… just to play with some more emotions, here is CH20 (yes, you can say "** ** _Finally_** **!" under your breath, I won't be mad!) Thank you for being such an awesome loyal reader and reviewer!**

 **Guest – CH18 : I'm glad you're on the edge of your seat – better hold on though, it's far from over! Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **FufuTheFallenAngel – CH18 : I definitely agree – relationships should never start with lies! But thank goodness this is not for real, and that we are all expecting a happily ever after, or this story would have just sucked! Now that both girls have discovered the truths, it doesn't mean the heartbreak is over. Keep on reading to find out what goes on in the minds of our beloved Spashley! Hope you enjoyed CH19 as well – here is CH20, and like I mentioned, not over yet! Thank you for your loyal reading and reviewing!**

 **son-lyn – CH19 : Loved the review, loved that it's breaking your heart (I'm not heartless, I promise – I just appreciate that I'm invoking emotion in this fic!) – and I'm sadly going to have to warn you that it might break even more! Thank you for your kind words about this being a decent fic, I really,** ** _really_** **appreciate that! This won't be the last, already have ideas for more, and my own storyline not too far in the future. Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **Guest – CH19 : For some reason, I really took your review to heart, it was so sweet. I wish I could write all the time but it's just not possible. I do try though! And if it would make you feel better, although I couldn't update during the weekend, I felt the sting of** ** _not_** **being able to because I had to go live a little! I know it's terrible to say I** ** _want_** **you to cry, and you might even want to cry more during/after CH20. But I do promise a happy ending – that's all I can say! Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To : Lose a girl in 10 days**

"So, for our Rising Stars section, Spencer, we've got a very special treat for this edition. I'm thinking to maybe use it for our front cover as well."

I sighed and pinched my nose, listening attentively as Paula dished out our next assignments. Rising Stars have been my responsibility since the How-To's got sacked – my blunder – and I was lucky enough not to have been thrown out with it.

"Now I know there is some history, so I'm warning you in advance, Miss Carlin, that you are still on very thin ice."

I frowned. Why would Paula be threatening me? What was this all about? A quick glance at Chelsea and Madison and I realized they were as stunned as I was.

"She's reached platinum status within weeks of releasing her first album, giving us very little time to get our exclusive. She's also disclosed some exciting news to me which she's fine with getting published – she was rather excited to get the news out. So, Miss Carlin." Paula was still very evasive, and using my surname to address me didn't help.

I was starting to get nervous.

"You better not screw this up. Ashley Davies will be here tomorrow morning for the interview. She also wants us to announce her engagement to Josie Hemmingway – I'm sure she will provide you with all the details."

I felt a familiar numbing pain wash over my body as a reminder of that night just over a year ago flooded my memory. The night where I lost the one person I thought I was destined to be with.

You'd think after a year I'd gotten over it and moved on, but unlike Ashley, who'd clearly benefited from our demise, I hadn't been able to let go.

And hearing this news wasn't making things any easier. In fact, it made me feel terribly sick.

Everybody's eyes were on me, as if waiting for me to object. I wanted to, I really did, but I couldn't get any words out. The only thing Paula got out of me was the contents of my stomach…

* * *

"Spencer, breathe."

I felt hands on my shoulders, on my face, holding back my hair. Seconds later a cold, wet cloth was plastered against my neck.

"Spence, you either need to stop crying, or stop throwing up. You can't do both – you'll suffocate yourself."

It took a moment to focus on the calm voice. Was that Chelsea? I finally managed to take in my surroundings, realizing we were in her apartment, on the bathroom floor. What the hell was going on?

I pushed myself away from the suddenly obtrusive toilet bowl, nauseated by the aftermath of seemingly excessive alcohol consumption. Chelsea sat patiently beside me, one hand rubbing my back. Concern was written all over her face.

"You good?"

I shook my head ' _no'_ , the pressure to heave again eerily persistent in my throat. At least the tears had stopped.

I couldn't believe I was still so hung up about _her_.

"Just sit here for a while, until it subsides a little. I'm just going to get some cold water from the kitchen, will you be okay?"

I didn't trust myself to speak. I was sure if I opened my mouth, my heart would spew out with whatever was left in my stomach.

Chelsea was back before I even realized she'd left. I watched her sit down next to me, a glass of water in the one hand, Tylenol in the other. She pushed both towards me.

"Take slow sips. And swallow both. You'll thank me later."

I didn't think I'd be able to keep it down, but Chelsea was one of those people you just trusted to do whatever they said. Right now I trusted her to explain my current situation to me. I had no recollection of how I got here, why I was in dressed in an evening gown, and why I had the lingering taste of champagne in my mouth. The last thing I remembered was Paula's news about the new article. About Ashley Davies getting engaged.

I froze. Did I go out and drink after that? In broad daylight?

"Yes, you had an excessive amount of champagne. And your heart is still in pieces somewhere in 7th Avenue – I'll have to go pick them up for you later. And no, there's been no time warp. We're both hoping to have left IN-NY in a year's time."

Chelsea was also one of those people who loved to speak in riddles.

"Spence, you just had your heart broken. While at the same time getting ridiculously drunk. And then you walked two miles to my place, in the middle of the night. I'd love to berate you for how dangerous and irresponsible that was, but you were in no condition then, and not doing any better now."

That still didn't answer my question.

"Ashley Davies is not getting married. You've been having the same dream over and over again. But she _did_ break your heart, and as soon as you're able to hold yourself together for longer than twenty minutes, I'm going to go find her and break her neck."

I wasn't sure whether the fresh tears were because I found out I just had my heart shattered, or because there was still the slightest chance that I could reconcile with the person who caused all of this mayhem in the first place.

* * *

The next time I came to, I was finally able to put the pieces together. It was already after 6PM, I was still at Chelsea's apartment, but at least this time I was dressed more comfortably in track pants and a tank top, and the overbearing nausea had calmed down a notch. I'd managed to sleep for a couple of hours, without waking up in fear of having missed a year in my life.

Not that I would mind – if I could travel a couple of weeks, or maybe months, ahead in time, just to avoid all the tears and depression, it would be great.

But that was wishful thinking. The numbing pain in my chest wouldn't go away, in fact, it just intensified every time I thought of the beautiful brunette who had immersed me in such turmoil.

Fragments of the night's horrific events flashed through my mind. The words from Aiden and Sean that ultimately froze my blood. A humiliating recollection of singing on stage, spilling hateful words to each other in front of a stupefied audience. But the worst part of all was our altercation outside on the stairway.

My throat closed up as I recalled her painful words. Pitying me. Pathetic. Needed help. And the food poisoning.

I knew I was in the wrong as much as she was. I knew that I should have put an end to all the delirious things I was feeling when I forgot that I had a job to do. I knew I should have sat her down and not taken her word for it that she understood about the article while we were in a heated moment. I should have made the decision to either stick with her or stick with the article.

But while I had a conscience and felt terrible about what I was doing to her, she didn't give a damn about what she was doing to me. Misleading me to think that despite everything I put her through, she still wanted me.

She never wanted me.

She wanted Josie Hemmingway. A contract. More money. Maybe the fame that came with it.

But it was never me.

And that was what broke me.

It was difficult to believe now, that the words she whispered when I confided in her about my past, about me belonging with her, was at all true. It was difficult to believe that when we made love, the intimate feelings she took from me, was with heartfelt intention. It was difficult to believe that when she taught me how to ride a bicycle, she wanted to see me happy. It was just impossible to believe that any of the great times we shared was without an agenda.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to prevent the endless supply of tears from running down my cheeks. But it was too late, and seconds later, Chelsea was by my side.

"Oh, Spence, it's going to be okay," she soothed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I'd taken over her couch for the night, not in any condition to go home and be on my own. I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to make it to work the next day. I couldn't face Paula – not after embarrassing myself like that, and especially not before my article went to print. I regretted now that I had put my job – however meaningless – on the line for someone who didn't deserve a single word I'd written.

It was going to be a long week…

* * *

My heart was in my throat. Even though I knew this was coming, somewhere deep down I hoped that the years of hard work, late nights, and loyalty meant something.

Apparently it didn't.

I swallowed hard as I sat in front of Paula's desk, hands nervously wringing, waiting for her to finish reading my article from our magazine that had reached the stands early this morning. I hated Wednesdays.

"Spencer, you know, it breaks me to read this. I was going to give you what you wanted after this article. Your notes were outstanding – it really would have been your best work to date. But I regret that I cannot condone this. You understand, right?"

I didn't understand. But I felt so empty that I didn't really care. "I do."

"So this is it, then. Miss Carlin, it's painful to say these words, but I'm afraid that we're going to have to let you go. You're fired."

I flinched as Paula's words reached my ears, and finally settled in my heart.

In one week I've lost so many things. My dream girl, my job, my dignity. It couldn't get any worse, right?

Wrong.

* * *

 _When I first met her, my objective was clear; find some minuscule things that end relationships, test them, test her, and write the detailed article:_ _ **How To lose a girl in 10 days.**_

 _It was easy to find her – actually, she found me, and then we both found each other. That should have been my first warning sign. Second warning was that she's beautiful, funny, caring, warm – all carefully hidden beneath a layer of attractive cockiness. It made me fall for her immediately._

 _I started small – flipped the switch from being my levelheaded self, to crazy multi-personalitied girlfriend occasionally. It wasn't easy, having scruples and all. In fact, it wasn't that that had made things so difficult, it was the fact that she cared, more than she should have._

 _For every stint I pulled to push her away, she pulled me back in, even closer than the previous time. She forgave me for ruining the Yanks versus Tigers game. Fellow, loyal fans, you will understand if you were there. It was an exciting experience. I saw it, she didn't. How does one forgive that? She has a heart of gold._

 _Small things; like phoning every night at 2AM, creating joined social media pages, stalking her on social media, leaving hundreds of messages everywhere – voicemail, texts, post-its that she probably haven't found yet, disturbing the peace in her neatly arranged bedroom and bathroom…_

 _To bigger things that should have made her send me packing every day. I've put her in compromising situations – and more often than not, she took the humiliation and turned it into passion. There were so many times I just wanted to give in to her._

 _My conscience caught up with me. You see, as a journalist and writer, we know there are times when you have to put yourself on the line. You have to forget who you are, forget about morals, values, forget about everything you've ever been taught. And you go out there and get the story you need._

 _I wanted the story, it was a promise to a fulfilling career as a journalist. But a few days in, I started realizing that it wasn't a fulfilling career I was after, it was the love and support regardless of what the career was._

 _Every day just became harder to accept what I was doing to her – and ultimately to myself. I came to realize that I've finally met my possible match – but how ironic is it that it was under this most bizarre circumstances?_

 _So, dear readers. I may have done all those little things that we unknowingly do to drive a partner away. I'm not saying keep on doing these things unconsciously, I'm not even saying to do them at all._

 _This is after all, a How-To guide – and I'm trying to encourage you to be yourselves, but be conscious of how you treat your newfound partner._

 _Dear Ashley Davies, it's been 10 days, and I think I may have fallen in love with you. By the time you read this article, it may be difficult to believe that my actions and feelings were two separate things. So I would like to apologize to you. This article is by no means a way to make up to you for all the things I've put you through. But I would like to use it as the first step in that direction._

 _As proof of how serious I am about this, about the possibility of us, I hereby ask you to meet up with me at the next Yanks game on Saturday, where I will read this article from the pitcher's mound, and apologize to you in person, if you will let me…_

* * *

"Are you out of your _mind_? Spencer, you _do_ realize you are going to publicly humiliate yourself?" Madison dropped the half-read magazine onto our coffee table, and then looked up at me, stunned.

I sighed. "That was the whole point, Madison. I felt bad for humiliating her all the time – I wanted her to know that I was serious about fixing things."

Chelsea shook her head as I was explaining to Madison. "Spence, you can't go and do this now. You know she's not going to show. After last weekend – "

I couldn't think about it again. I reminded myself enough of what had happened. "I _know_ , Chels. But if I don't show, what kind of person does that make me? Half of New York has probably already read the article. They don't know what happened in the meantime."

My friends knew me better than I knew myself. "You still have feelings for her, don't you?" Chelsea asked in surprise. She took a sip of her coffee, her eyes trained on me the entire time.

I knew I was blushing. Of course I still had feeling for her. I desperately wished I didn't, but I couldn't help the way she made me feel – even though it was all just a sham. Part of me wouldn't let the reality of Ashley's betrayal sink in. "No, I don't. But I have to do this – I already put IN-NY in a bad light. I don't want to sit with a lawsuit on my hands after having just gotten fired too."

Madison was a little more sympathetic than Chelsea. "Oh, Spence, do you want us to go with you? I mean, you're definitely going to need us afterwards when she doesn't show."

I smiled gratefully, tears welling up in my eyes. Madison didn't even like baseball. "Thanks Mads, I really appreciate it."

"So, what are you going to do now? I mean, after IN-NY and everything?" Chelsea asked, trying to steer the conversation away from my heartache. I was so thankful to have a friend like her.

"Well," I took a deep breath. "This all actually happened in good time. I'm thinking to go travel a bit, start a blog, maybe even write something. Maybe I won't even come back to New York."

Two sets of eyes stared at me, visibly distraught by what I'd just told them.

"Spence – " Chelsea started, but I interrupted her.

"No, Chels, I _have_ to do this. We made a promise to leave IN-NY within the next year and follow our hearts, our dreams. My opportunity just came a little sooner than anticipated."

"Are you sure you're not actually running away from your heart?" she challenged me.

I chuckled. "I thought you're anti-Ashley."

"It's not that. I'm just… pro Spencer-happy."


	21. How To: Lose a girl in 10 days II

**A/N: For Melirufus – sorry this one was late!**

* * *

 **Ashley**

 **How To : Lose a girl in 10 days II**

"Would you consider releasing the first song as a single, and then we work on producing the album in the meantime, or do you want to wait?"

I was thankful that Arthur and Aiden was present in the first production meeting with Josie. She'd been on a rampant flirting mission, and though I should feel flattered and just go for it, I couldn't. I was totally vagected by a certain blonde, and it was starting work on my nerves. All I wanted to do was get all the frustration of the past week out of my system. But no matter how hard and how many girls I tried, I couldn't even get them home…

"… really great to cover up for the weekend's disaster. I feel this would help with damage control." Josie's words hit a nerve. I was already constantly reminded by Arthur and especially the Carmens that the gala had been a huge joke, thanks to Spencer's drunken performance on stage. I knew I was also to blame – I could have pulled her off instead of trying to humiliate her. In the end the whole little act didn't only put our names to shame, it also raised brows towards The Label. And for that I wasn't going to be let down soon. But Josie didn't have to remind me so insolently.

"Good. Then I will get legal to start with your paperwork, and then we can start sending it off to local radio stations. If we're lucky we can have it on air by Saturday already."

"Ashley, this is good. But remember that it will put some pressure on you guys to get that album out. One good thing that came from the gala is that people now know Josie's been working on getting something out there. We can expect some tidbits in magazines and newspapers for the next two weeks," Arthur added.

I almost felt a bit better, until he continued. "Of course, I expect you to head over to IN-NY for that exclusive this week still. Their latest issue had just been released this morning, and I had promised Paula that we'd give her staff enough time to get their Rising Stars section off the ground properly."

Please don't tell me –

"And Ashley, you will go with Josie."

Fuck.

I was hoping Arthur wouldn't say that. I wanted to protest, but knew of better. I was definitely not in his good books at the moment.

The way Josie's face lit up at Arthur's request made me want to throw up.

The universe was definitely out to get me.

* * *

"What if I pay you?"

"You already pay me in the form of a salary."

"Okay, a raise then?"

"You already owe me one. Plus, I don't think Arthur will approve a second."

"You can drive my car for a week."

"Pretty soon I'll be able to afford a down payment for my own Porsche."

"What if I just _give_ you mine?"

"Ash… you're going to have to face her eventually. Maybe you won't even see her. Just get this over and done with and then you can go on with your life."

I sank back in my office chair, feeling resentful towards Aiden. His refusal to go to IN-NY on behalf me was frustrating, to say the least. Why wouldn't he understand that I couldn't show my face there? Ever. Not only did I want to avoid Spencer Carlin, I was also not ready to look her boss in the eyes. The humiliation was still lingering over me like a salsa stain on a white shirt. Just like the ever-present migraine that wouldn't go away despite dosing myself up with the prescribed medication.

"It's not only her, Aid," I complained, wishing there was a way out of it.

Aiden just laughed and made himself comfortable on my couch, pulling out a magazine in front of him.

I managed a glimpse of the cover page and felt something snap. "Are you _kidding_ me? You do not get to read that in here!" What a traitor! IN-MY magazine, in my office, of all places!

Aiden was infuriating. He had the nerve! "Oh, come on, Ash. You _know_ I love this magazine. Plus, don't you want to read it? I see it got published in this edition; How to: lose a girl in 10 days… Catchy."

That was it. "Aiden Dennison! Get the fuck out!" I've reached my breaking point. Between Aiden being so brazen, Josie with her constant tactless flirting, and Arthur's unwillingness to forgive me anytime soon, I just couldn't take it anymore. It was hard enough to get through the day being consumed by memories I'd rather have erased. It was hard enough having her on my mind when all I wanted to do was forget.

* * *

Of course, Josie Hemmingway had to have an agenda. Why was it that everybody I met lately had ulterior motives? Was that how people were these days?

"I just hope they didn't assign her to my article. We can ask them to assign someone else, can't we? I mean, we are the clients. I would love to have a word with her though…"

And she would just not shut up about the person I was so desperately trying to forget. I shot a silent prayer hoping that IN-NY was under lock-down for some obscure reason and that we wouldn't be able to enter the building. But as we reached the front doors, everything was perfectly normal. Except for my heartbeat.

"…I'm sorry, I know you were into her. But seeing as you seemed to have distanced yourself from Miss Carlin, I hope you don't mind me exchanging some words with her. She humiliated all of us not to mention…"

I was close to frustrated tears. If Josie didn't stop rambling soon I might just do something stupid and lose my job.

"Welcome to IN-NY Magazine! How may I assist you?" a bubbly receptionist asked as we approached the reception station in the lobby of IN-NY.

I checked my phone and noticed that we were somewhat early. Great. "We have a ten o' clock appointment with Paula. Ashley Davies from The Label."

The receptionist nodded and typed something on her computer, her fingers moving at lightning speed. She smiled as she looked up again, more at Josie than anyone else. I couldn't decide if she was a giddy fan or was about to flirt with the village bicycle next to me – who'd thankfully decided to shut up for a second. "You may have a seat while I get your visitors' cards ready. Your meeting will take place on the second floor."

We took a seat on the plush couches, accepted coffee from the flirtatious receptionist, and got handed the latest issue of IN-NY together with our visitors' cards within minutes. It didn't make the time go by any faster – we were still half an hour early.

While Josie browsed through the magazine and occasionally shot seductive looks back at the receptionist, I sat trying to control my breathing, my copy of the magazine burning holes into my hands. My eyes skimmed over the cover, featuring some actress who'd just had a baby, and then to all the cover lines, including the one that had me in such a frenzy; How To: Lose a Girl in 10 Days.

I was tempted, but I was just not ready to read how easy it was for someone to break me the way she did. I didn't know if I'd ever be. Maybe years later, when I was over the blonde and happily settled with someone else. But right now it was too soon. My heart couldn't handle any more breaking.

"Ladies! I'm so glad you could make it! Come through!" Paula's chirpy voice sent shivers down my spine.

Time to face the music.

* * *

We got settled into a small boardroom on an open plan floor where dozens of writers scurried around or sat at their cubicles, hard at work. I thought for a moment that I may have spotted Chelsea, Spencer's friend, but wasn't too sure.

"First of all, on behalf of IN-NY, I would like to apologize to you ladies about the debacle at the gala on Saturday. And Miss Davies…" Paula looked me in the eyes.

Here it comes.

"Also for the article that was sent to print without my knowledge. I assure you that we have taken the necessary disciplinary steps against Miss Carlin. If there's anything we can do to rectify this – "

My heart was in my throat. What was Paula talking about? Spencer was just doing her job – why did they feel the need to take disciplinary steps against her?

I interrupted her quickly, not ready to talk about Spencer Carlin. "It's okay, Paula, you can relax. It doesn't matter anyway." To steer the attention away from myself, I cringed at my next words. "I think what's important is that we restore Josie's trust in the magazine and label after Saturday's blunder."

This made Josie's ego explode, of course. "I must say, I was rather disappointed about how things turned out, but I'm willing to overlook the gala. I expect a proper introduction in your Rising Stars section. Maybe we could come to some sort of agreement about headlining your cover page…"

I rolled my eyes. Gone was the down-to-earth Josie I'd met weeks ago. Thank goodness we never hit it off. Though now Josie seemed into me more than anything. I didn't believe for a second that she felt anything for me. She wanted fame, and money.

To my dismay, Paula's face lit up. "Well, of course! We could… well, we could put you on the cover, Miss Hemmingway…"

 _Oh, God, please save us…_

"No, I couldn't… _really_? I'd settle with just a cover line and maybe a chat to your little writer who'd brought such disgrace over this superior magazine of yours."

 _What?_

I couldn't believe this! Who the hell did Josie think she was?

Paula was like putty in Josie's hands.

What. The. Fuck.

"Oh, Miss Hemmingway, no, I'd gladly feature you on the cover. Besides, Miss Carlin had been relieved of her duties here, so I'm afraid that chat cannot happen."

Wait, _what?!_

This was absurd! My heart was racing. I wouldn't allow these people to slander Spencer like this; she'd worked hard to get where she was. She had a masters in journalism, for goodness sake! "You fired Spencer?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

Two sets of eyes were on me, staring, as if I'd interrupted some important world-changing matters.

I could feel heat creeping up my face in the form of a slight blush. "I'm sorry, what I meant was, uhm, good… to hear… about Miss Carlin."

And while they turned back to their conversation about changing the world with slutty artist magazine covers, my mind drifted off to the blonde who'd swept me off my feet. How could they just fire her? Was she okay? I haven't heard anything from her since our squabble on Saturday night. I couldn't even reply to any of the text messages she'd sent on Sunday, because I deleted them all. In fear of making a fool out of myself, I also deleted her number from my phone…

* * *

I didn't know what came over me. Sat snugly on my sofa, TV on mute, stereo on in the background, I took sips of my warm coffee while browsing through back issues of IN-NY magazines – borrowed from none other than my good friend, Aiden. Well, not exactly browsing… more like reading How-To articles ever since Spencer Carlin started writing them. Most of them were hilarious, and I could picture the blonde in most of the situations that she wrote about.

I had to give it to her, she was a brilliant writer. I wanted to read all of them, except the last magazine, which was carelessly dumped in the trash.

"…and now, people of New York, good morning to you, I'm Jill Mason from NYFM. It's 8 AM, Saturday morning, sunny, no rain forecasts for the day, and we're starting off the day with some fresh music and a hot new artist, Josie Hemmingway! Don't forget to tune in later today for updates on the big home game; Yankees against LA Dodgers!"

I've forgotten about the game. It would have been nice to go and watch, but with Aiden gone on a weekend trip with Sean, and all other acquaintances busy with whatever they did over weekends, I was pretty much by myself. Of course, the one person who I would have loved to go watch the game with, was out of the question.

Josie's voice filled the room, and I felt a sense of pride as I listened to the music. I'd worked so hard on that song. I was pretty much inspired throughout the process, and listening to the words now, I realized why…

 _I've been roaming around  
Always looking down at all I see  
Painted faces, fill the places I can't reach_

 _You know that I could use somebody_  
 _You know that I could use somebody_

 _Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak_  
 _Countless lovers under cover of the street_

I couldn't deny anymore that Spencer definitely had some influence on me while producing the song. I remembered feeling light and happy, and in love…

Unwelcome tears made its presence as I blocked off the memories and focused on the articles instead. I didn't know why I was reading them, I didn't know what I was looking for. Maybe it was some insight, or just some indication, or sign, that what I felt wasn't unrequited. I guess I was just desperately trying to console myself that Spencer would be okay, wherever she was, and that she was strong enough to start over, without feeling the same numbing pain I did…


	22. How To: Let go

**A/N : I'm sorry for posting chapter by chapter, but time doesn't allow me to do the set chapters of Spencer and Ashley at the moment, and plus even I'm too excited to not have the updates go up soon enough!**

 **Anjela78 – CH19 : Thank you so much for another heartwarming review! And for reading my fic a whole couple of times – it really means so much! I'm really glad that my writing stirs emotion, that is what I strive for!**

 **Southtrash – CH20 /21 : I know CH20 looked bleak for Spencer, and oh my word you're going to hate me even more after reading this chapter! But… while you're patiently waiting, and w.a.i.t.i.n.g... I promise I'm doing my best to get the next chapter done and will post asap!**

 **Melirufus – CH20/21 : Hahahaha, I was wondering if it was a good idea to confuse the readers a bit… to be honest I really struggled with that chapter, and I've been looking forward to write that specific chapter for so long. So I felt kind of disappointed by the outcome, but it looks like it managed to provoke everyone a little bit ;) And please don't have a heart attack, because then you can't read and review anymore, and don't kill me either, because then I can't finish the story! CH21 dedication… only a pleasure!**

 **FufuTheFallenAngel – CH20 : I can't say too much… you'll have to read this chapter to find out! Story is coming to an end soon, that's why there's so many cliffhangers and tension!**

 **ChezzLove – CH21 : Aaaah… my job here is done. Emotions – this is what I want to hear! (read). The dream sequence – like I mentioned to Melirufus – was a bit unsure but I think maybe it did work out okay in the end. I promise I'm trying my utmost best with the updates – life just really gets in the way sometimes! As long as you keep the reading between classes and not while** ** _in_** **class then I'm happy – otherwise I'll need to stop and not write anymore fics – and I've got 2 more lined up already!**

 **Thank you all for reading and reviewing – it really makes me happy to know you're enjoying this story!**

 **I've decided to dedicate the last couple of chapters to the most devoted fans; starting with the previous obviously to Melirufus for appreciating and demanding updates ;) (But then again, that's all of you!)**

 **SPECIAL THANKS TO SOUTHTRASH AND AMY-RB9207 – YOUR REVIEWS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME! THIS CHAPTER IS FOR YOU!**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To : Let go**

"… and we're starting off the day with some fresh music and a hot new artist, Josie Hemmingway! Don't forget to tune in later today for updates on the big home game; Yankees against LA Dodgers!"

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to fight off the nerves that's been eating at me since that article got published. I couldn't believe I was so stupid. Why would I do something like that to myself? Did I really think Ashley Davies – or anyone, was worth the humiliation?

 _Don't kid yourself – Ashley Davies is. Was... Still is…_

I couldn't help myself. Part of me desperately held onto the last glimmer of hope that somehow Ashley would read the article, or someone would tell her about it, or that she'd just go to the game. I'd prefer the latter – but it wouldn't matter either way. If she could just somehow magically show up today…

The song on the radio caught my attention during my internal ranting, and I paused, taking in how beautiful it was. Josie Hemmingway was really talented. And Ashley had done an amazing job producing it. Even if it was at my expense…

 _…You know that I could use somebody_

 _You know that I could use somebody_

 _Someone like you_

 _Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep_

 _Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat_

 _I hope it's gonna make you notice_

 _I hope it's gonna make you notice_

 _Someone like me_

 _Someone like me_

 _Someone like me, somebody…_

Not only was it catchy, it somehow felt like it was made for me.

I was delusional, right?

Ashley was probably off somewhere with some girl – or Josie, for that matter – doing who knows what. She'd gotten what she wanted – this song was going to be a huge success, and I knew the rest of Josie's album would be too. Soon she'd be swamped by more artists, and making money off of them like there was no tomorrow. _Glad to be of service to you, Ashley Davies_.

But no matter how bitter it made me feel, part of me was still proud of the brunette.

It was a good thing I had a plane ticket booked. Fleeing the state was the only rational thing I could think of after setting myself up for the dire embarrassment that was surely awaiting me. I'd packed up majority of the items in my apartment, ready to have it shipped off to storage. There was already interested buyers for my place, and the real estate agent had promised me that they would handle things in my absence. I could travel and have my place sold in the meantime. I didn't ever have to come back.

And I wasn't planning to.

Chelsea and Madison could come and visit me wherever I found myself settling down. I just knew it wasn't going to be anywhere on the east coast. In fact, I was considering going to Los Angeles or maybe San Francisco. All I knew was that I needed to get far, far away from New York. From IN-NY. From today. From Ashley Davies.

* * *

It didn't come as a surprise to me that the stadium was packed. Of course it would be packed – it was a big game, and some people anticipated a love story to enfold on the home soil of the Yankee Stadium. I was one of those hopeless romantics. And I was also part of the cast. Main character, if you will.

"Miss Carlin? Hi, I'm Tony Marshall, Stadium Manager. We spoke on the phone?"

I glanced up at the tall gentleman who had approached me, waiting patiently just inside one of the main gates. Chelsea and Madison squealed beside me.

"Hi, Tony, I'm Spencer. Nice to meet you," I said politely, shaking his extended hand.

"Now if you ladies can come with me, I've arranged some amenities for you. I must say, Miss Carlin, your article has created some excited hype here today. So much so, that we've been approached by the Yanks team to do something special for you."

My heart nearly stopped. Was this guy for real? I never would have thought that my sad love life gained interest of the entire New York baseball fan base , let alone my favorite team! It was such a pity that things would likely not end well.

My two best friends were like excited children as they listened in.

"For you, and your friends – your most important support, there will be VIP tickets to our Legends Suites, which have premium access to exclusive lounges, all-inclusive food and beverage vouchers, and you also get to meet the team briefly before you go out on the field. They also offered the new team jerseys and caps – Miss Carlin, we'd prefer you wear that when you do your thing on the pitch mound."

This was really incredible. I felt like an excited child myself – it took away some of the angst of what was waiting for me.

"Let's head over to the Suite to get your friends seated, and then we can sort you out, Miss Carlin. We've got about thirty minutes before you need to make your appearance. There are some security safety regulations I have to run by you, and then we also need to set you up with a mic."

We followed Tony eagerly through the hordes or people, and I couldn't help but beam at the VIP pass that bounced off my chest, grabbing the attention of jealous patrons.

 _This would've made a brilliant How-To article_ , I thought ruefully.

When we finally made it to the suite, my heart nearly stopped for the second time as I scanned the crowds. The stadium was filling up quite fast, and people who were seated already had not only come dressed in support of their favorite teams, I could also make out hundreds of posters and banners rooting for me and Ashley to be united. I chuckled at some of the hashtags; Spashley Forever, Spencer Carlin for president, Ashley Davies marry me… I was truly mortified. But touched.

If only…

"Wow, Spence, this is amazing!" Madison shrieked next to me.

I laughed and turned to Chelsea, who seemed concerned. And she had every right to be.

This was going to be one, big, embarrassing disaster.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this, Spence? I'm sure they'll understand if you want to back out," Chelsea asked.

I wished I _could_ back out – I wished I could save myself before getting ripped apart even more than I already was. But a very small part of me still hoped, _believed_ , that if Ashley was the person I was destined to be with, she'd show up today.

"I have to do this. I owe it to myself."

* * *

"Okay, Miss Carlin, you're up!"

I took a deep breath as one of the sound tech guys checked my microphone one last time, and then gave Tony an appreciative smile as he guided me towards the security detail who would escort me out to the field.

This was it, the moment of truth.

I was trembling slightly as we made our way down the stands toward the field. We passed the Yankees dugout, and I knew there was no more turning back as the players of my favorite team started cheering me on.

Seconds later we stepped into full view of roughly fifty thousand spectators, and I understood for a fleeting moment what it felt like to be a famous artist who had to perform in front of so many people. I didn't even want to think of how many people watched on their TV's, or streaming on the internet. The only temporary relief I could give myself was that it would be really funny if my parents were to watch TV right now. Thank goodness I was already disowned.

I never expected the buzz and moments later, cheers from all over as my feet dragged over to the pitching mound. I felt so small and exposed out there, and lonely, despite the hum of excitement around me. I suddenly realized that I didn't even know what I was going to say.

 _Shit!_

"This is it, the floor's all yours, Miss Carlin."

The friendly security guard smiled at me and stepped back as we reached the pitching mound. He didn't leave entirely, but I could feel the lack of his presence as he opted to stay out of the spotlight.

I slowly lifted the microphone to my mouth, and as predicted, the murmur in the stands quieted down. As if that didn't make it worse!

 _Well, Carlin, here goes nothing!_

"Hi everyone, my name is Spencer Carlin," I started off, my voice shaking.

The crowds roared – and I had to chuckle at that. They really made me feel like I was a famous rock star, or stage persona. It helped to psych me up a little.

"As most of you know, I'm here because of an article I wrote for IN-NY Magazine."

Another cheer.

If they did that after every sentence, we'd be here until midnight.

I cleared my throat, trying to find the right way to start this off. Chelsea had given me some good advice – to speak from the heart. But if only she knew how difficult that was in front of so many people.

"I'm not quite sure how to explain this for people who hasn't read the article. I guess I can just say that I was the How-To girl, who'd guide the readers of New York how to get out of some odd situations, or how to do things, or, like in this case, how to lose a girl in ten days."

There was a clear shift in the mood – some people actually booed me!

"But… as those who'd read the article will know, the whole point of my assignment was to go out and meet someone, do all these silly things that a lot of people, mostly females, tend to do when they meet someone new, and push the new partner away. Of course… I tried it, and failed hopelessly, because I ended up falling in love with that person."

This time I could hardly hear my own thoughts as the spectators went wild.

The tremble I felt earlier turned into a more serious shake. I could barely hold the microphone still in front of me as I fumbled over the words in my head.

"Maybe uh… maybe I'll read some of the article, and then explain exactly why I'm here?"

While another cheer rocked through the stadium, I took the opportunity to focus on the stands, and entrances to the field, hoping, _praying_ , that I'd be saved from this very humiliating situation.

But there was no sign of Ashley Davies.

I unfolded my printed version of the article with shaking hands, and swallowed hard as I skimmed over the words. Words that I'd hoped would reunite me with the girl I would forgive in a heartbeat. At this stage I already knew that if, by miracle, she did show up, and we got our happily ever after, I'd forgive her for anything, if it could just mean that I'd have her in my life for another day.

At first I thought that I was just desperate, but as the week progressed, I've realized that the pain was far worse than the anger, and that the memories we'd created in such a short span of time was worth everything to me.

I just needed a sign, _anything_ , to know that I meant at least a little bit to her. That this wasn't only painful for me. That I wasn't the only one who got hurt, and who wanted a second chance. I'd give anything for a second chance with her. She made me feel more alive than I've felt my entire existence.

Just something… anything…

I took a deep breath, feeling tears welling up as I read what was going on in my heart.

"It was easy to find her – actually, she found me, and then we both found each other. That should have been my first warning sign. Second warning was that she's beautiful, funny, caring, warm – all carefully hidden beneath a layer of attractive cockiness. It made me fall for her immediately…"

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat making it almost impossible to speak.

"For every stint I pulled to push her away, she pulled me back in, even closer than the previous time. She forgave me for ruining the Yanks versus Tigers game. Fellow, loyal fans, you will understand if you were here. It was an exciting experience. I saw it, she didn't. How does one forgive that? She has a heart of gold..."

The spectators chuckled, and I knew that majority of them probably _was_ at the Yanks/Tigers game.

"I wanted the story, it was a promise to a fulfilling career as a journalist. But a few days in, I started realizing that it wasn't a fulfilling career I was after, it was the love and support regardless of what the career was…"

If only they knew that I was now without a job, and after today, without any hope of finding a job at any reputable publication or print outlet. This was career suicide.

But I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered if my heart wouldn't recover from this ache.

"Every day just became harder to accept what I was doing to her – and ultimately to myself. I came to realize that I've finally met my possible match – but how ironic is it that it was under this most bizarre circumstances?"

I paused for a second, letting my words sink in. It was almost impossible to believe I had fifty thousand people quiet and hanging on to every word I was saying. It was surreal.

"So, to Ashley Davies, the girl who'd stolen my heart… I would like to apologize to you. This article was by no means a way to make up to you for all the things I've put you through. But I would like to use it as the first step in that direction. My challenge, or plead, was for you to come out here today and accept my public apology. The plan was also to woo you and ask you on a date to watch our favorite team play today, without any crazy stunts that would make you miss any of the game. In fact, I'd be at your beck and call…"

My heart started racing. If I thought I was nervous before, it was no match to what I felt right now. There was an eerie silence as I listened with the spectators, watching, _hoping_ , that I'd be reunited with the girl I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with.

I stood there, hopeful, for a full five minutes, until I finally realized that this wasn't the fairy tale where I got the girl in the end.

My fairy tale consisted of me flying off to the other side of the country, and starting over, and hopefully one day, find someone who could make me feel the things Ashley made me feel.

The spectators was starting to get edgy as well.

This was just not going to happen for me today.

"Well… I guess this is it, then. City of New York, fellow Yanks fans, and my favorite team, the Yankees, I thank you for this opportunity that you gave me today. Maybe another time…"

I nodded towards my security detail, and we slowly made our way back to our suite.

The crowd gave a supportive _'Aaaw'_ and then a standing ovation, but that was as far as this love story was going to go. I guess not all love stories had happy endings.

"Ladies and gentlemen, that was Spencer Carlin for IN-NY Magazine, let's give her another round of applause!" The voice of one of the commentators blared over the speakers, and seconds later the spectators clapped again.

"And now, let's get down to business… today is a big day, we've got the managers of the Yankees and Dodgers here in the box with us…"

I tuned out and accepted Chelsea and Madison's tight embrace as we stepped into our suite.

Chelsea pulled back and gave me a supportive but sad smile. "Airport?"

I nodded.

It was time to let go.


	23. How To: Love Unconditionally

**A/N : To FufuTheFallenAngel and the ever loyal Guest who'd been supporting this fic from the beginning! You rock!**

* * *

 **Ashley**

 **How To : Love Unconditionally**

 _Bzzz-Bzzz… Bzzz-Bzzz_

I groaned as the incessant buzzing pulled me from the kind of dream you wish you'd never wake up from. The kind of dream where I lived happily ever after. The kind of dream that made my heart break knowing I'd most probably never see my crazy blonde again.

I'd come to love her crazy side, even though it wasn't real. Reading the endless How-To articles just proved how funny and lovable she actually was.

 _Bzzz-Bzzz… Bzzz-Bzzz_

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" I grabbed the annoying phone and pressed it to my ear, not even checking who it was. "Hello?" Sitting up, I realized I must've fallen asleep on my couch.

 _"Ash, tell me you're at the game!"_

Aiden?

"Aiden?"

 _"Ash, just listen to me, where are you?"_

He sounded… I wasn't sure. Excited? Worried? Anxious? All of the above?

"Dude, I had the best dream and you just woke me. What's going on?"

 _"So you're… Aaaw, man, you're at home?"_

"Uh… yeah, I kind of live here, in case you haven't realized? Where else am I supposed to be?" Why was he acting so strange? And why was he calling me while he was supposed to be on a romantic weekend away?

 _"Switch on your TV – switch to the game. Hurry!"_

What the hell?

I looked up, the TV was already on – I'd been waiting for the game to start all day. But it hasn't yet and I frowned, wondering if they were running late. The cameramen were panning so much I couldn't figure out what was going on without sound.

Grabbing the remote, I turned up the volume, and was surprised to hear a vaguely familiar voice over the speakers. And then, as if things couldn't get any more weird, Spencer Carlin's face was blown up on my TV screen. My heart flipped.

 _"For every stint I pulled to push her away, she pulled me back in, even closer than the previous time. She forgave me for ruining the Yanks versus Tigers game. Fellow, loyal fans, you will understand if you were here. It was an exciting experience. I saw it, she didn't. How does one forgive that? She has a heart of gold..."_

Who was she talking about? What was going on?

 _"Are you watching?"_

I'd forgotten that I still had Aiden on the phone. "Yeah…"

 _"I wanted the story, it was a promise to a fulfilling career as a journalist…"_

I felt anger rise in me. What was this? Was Spencer pulling some publicity stunt just to get her lousy job back? _Unbelievable!_

"Aiden, what the fuck – "

 _"Shut up, I'm trying to listen to what she's saying!"_

I scoffed. "Well, I'm not. Thanks for the call, Aid, but no thanks."

I put the phone down in his ear and sighed, feeling millions of emotions running through me. Was I really going to watch this? While it already hurt so much? I contemplated switching the TV off, but I was too mesmerized by her beauty on screen. Her voice was soothing, I haven't even been listening to what she was saying.

 _"So, to Ashley Davies…"_

 _What?!_

By instinct, my thumb furiously pressed the volume button up even more.

 _"… stolen my heart… I would like to apologize to you. This article was by no means a way to make up to you for all the things I've put you through. But I would like to use it as the first step in that direction. My challenge, or plead, was for you to come out here today and accept my public apology. The plan was also to woo you and ask you on a date to watch our favorite team play today, without any crazy stunts that would make you miss any of the game. In fact, I'd be at your beck and call…"_

I was confused. What article? And what challenge? Have I been drunk all week?

My phone buzzed again but this time it was only a text message from a number I didn't know.

 **I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. Last chance to make things right; her plane leaves for LA at 4PM – JFK Airport. She's not coming back. Chelsea.**

Things were happening incredibly fast. Spencer was still on screen, probably waiting for me to show up. My heart did all kinds of crazy stunts. I was absolutely ecstatic about what she had just done. And at the same time I was torn apart, because she was publicly crushing herself while I was stuck in my apartment, unaware of what was expected of me. I'd never be able to make it there in time to save her from the humiliation. But I was definitely in a better position to make it to the airport in time. We were about the same distance away. I could still catch her. And stop her.

There was no way I was letting Spencer Carlin fly out of my life.

* * *

The race to the airport was of course, not without difficulty. From a traffic congestion right off Ocean Parkway, to roadworks all along Grand Central, and finally, getting pulled over for speeding - minutes away from my destination.

I was breathing hard, perspiring – it felt like I'd run all the way. But reality was I didn't; my strange symptoms arose from the dreadful fear that I was going to lose the one person who I was dreaming about of having a future with.

I was literally begging the universe to just let me have this one thing. I'd give up my fancy job, my big salary, my life savings, my apartment, my car… I'd give up _everything_ , if I could just have Spencer. She was all I wanted. She was all I ever needed.

"License and registration, please."

I pulled out the papers from the glove compartment and handed them over to the officer, my hands shaking. Of course, he noticed. He took a second to study my face, my features, and I cringed inwardly, hoping I didn't look as bad as it felt.

"Ma'am, could you please step out of your vehicle?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. _Please… this can't be happening_. I briefly wondered what Spencer would have done in such a situation. And then it hit me… Her article! How To talk your way out of a ticket!

I tried to remember the things she'd written, but I'd read so many How-To's, it was really confusing. Plus, I'd gladly accept the ticket for speeding. Whatever else this cop thought I was on, was nothing for me to worry about.

"Have you been drinking, ma'am?"

 _Stay calm, Davies. Just stay calm, answer his questions, and then be on your merry way._

"No, sir."

He eyed me suspiciously. "Is there anything in your vehicle that might put you in a compromising position? Ma'am do you have any illegal substances or weapons in here?"

I tried really hard not to laugh or swear at him. "No, sir."

He was still skeptical. "Mind if I search your car?"

I shook my head. "No, sir."

It was becoming increasingly difficult to hold my temper. Or to stay calm. My eye caught the clock on my dash and I flinched. It was almost 3PM. I was dangerously running out of time.

"Ma'am, are you under some distress of some kind?" he asked minutes later, finally done searching my car. He stared at my license, frowning, as if something was dawning on him.

I sighed nervously. Maybe if I just told the truth he'd let me go. "I just really need to get to the airport before I lose my girl forever," I breathed out, the heaviness of that sentence lingering over my heart.

The officer's face crinkled to a tiny smile for the first time since he stopped me. "Well why didn't you say so? You're _the_ Ashley Davies… I saw… on TV! I'm going to let you off with a warning – please don't speed again, ma'am. And go get your girl!"

I couldn't believe this! Why didn't I just say so to begin with?

* * *

By the time I'd parked – probably illegally, and made my way inside the airport towards Terminal 8, I was completely out of breath. There were so many domestic flights towards Los Angeles that the little oxygen I had left got snatched up by a severe case of anxiety over wondering where to go.

How was I going to find her? I barely had time left, Spencer was literally minutes away from disappearing from my life for good.

It struck me then that maybe her friend would know – the one who'd sent me the text.

I fished my phone from my pocket and dialed the number, hoping that I wasn't too late.

 _"Hello?"_

"Yeah, uh, hi… is this Chelsea?"

 _"Yes it is. Who am I speaking to?"_

"My name is Ashley Davies – you sent me a text about Spencer. Are you at the airport by any chance?" I didn't even know why I asked, I could hear the same bustle in the background on the phone than I could hear around me.

 _"Oh my - you're here?"_ she exclaimed.

 _"Who are you talking to?"_ I heard someone else in the background. It wasn't my girl.

"Yeah, but I don't know which gate – there's so many flights to LA – is…" I was too scared to ask. "Am I still…" The words wouldn't come. Tears were already pooling up in my eyes as I imagined Spencer's plane taking off.

 _"Gate 9 – they're boarding – you need to hurry!"_

I looked up, hope coursing through my veins as my eyes scanned the electronic information boards for _Gate 9_. I was at Gate 7. I glanced around the hordes of passengers and passersby, when my eyes finally landed on the queue of Flight 89B, en-route to Los Angeles, Gate 9.

And the familiar blonde hair finally caught my eye, and then her face… and I felt my insides melt.

"Spencer!"

I didn't care if my yelling caused a scene. I didn't care if people stared as I sprinted towards her, calling her name again, and again, and again, until she finally heard, and turned, something between shock and surprise written all over her face as she stared at me.

" _Ashley_?" she asked softly. I was almost certain there was a trace of hope in her voice.

Their line started moving, and I ran even faster, knocking people out of my way until I finally stopped right in front of her, blocking her way. Out of breath.

"Where are you going?" I panted, my heart in my throat.

Spencer just stared at me, as if I'd come to tell her the sky was pink after she was made to believe it was blue all her life.

"Ashley… what are you doing here?" Her voice was cracking. It was then when I noticed her eyes were puffy, and her complexion was pale. She'd been crying.

It made me cringe.

"Spence… where are you going?" I repeated. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know how to convince her not to go.

"I…uh… I'm…" she was having as hard time as I was. Finally she just sighed and pointed towards the electronic board displaying her flight details right ahead of us.

"Please, don't go," I begged her, tugging slightly at her arm. Impatient passengers squeezed past us, but it was the last thing I cared about. I just wanted to drag her out of this queue completely.

"Ashley… I can't… I mean, I need to, I – "

I finally found my voice, my words. Words I've been dying to tell her since we parted ways. "Look, I'm begging you, please, don't go. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that I hurt you, and that you had to humiliate yourself on national TV for me to realize what an idiot I've been…"

Those beautiful, _beautiful_ blue eyes stared at me, glimmering with tears. "You saw?"

"I _did_. And God, I wish I'd known, I would have been there, Spence, I promise you, I would've been there…"

She was still hesitant. It was confusing. I really thought that she'd want us to reconcile – wasn't that what her stunt was all about? But her reluctance to abandon her flight was slowly starting to break me.

"Ashley…" I didn't know if she was begging me to let her go or make her stay. How was I going to convince her that she was what I wanted all along? Without any agendas?

"Excuse me, I need to board my flight," a teenage boy interrupted us, rudely squeezing in between Spencer and myself to go through the boarding gates. I was about to slap and trip him and go off about how rude teenagers were, but the item on his back stopped me. He was carrying a guitar case.

And suddenly I knew how I was getting Spencer to stay – how I could _prove_ to her that she meant more to me than contracts and work and Josie Hemmingway.

I grabbed the case from his shoulder and set it down on the floor, and before he could even stop me, I had a beautiful _Ibanez Artwood Acoustic_ in my hands. Damn spoilt teenagers nowadays…

"Hey, lady! I need to board my plane!"

"Just shut the fuck up and enjoy the show, okay?" I blew him off. I strummed once to check if everything was in tune, and then looked up at Spencer, who was staring at me wide-eyed.

Good.

"I wrote this for you, just after we'd met. I really believed that you were bipolar or something, but Spence, despite that… in spite of that… I just loved you more. And I wanted to play this for you after the gala… but well… yeah…. I hurt you instead…" my voice died down and I fought hard not to cry. There were so many things I said that night that I wished I could take back. No matter how hurt I was after finding out that Spencer had used me as well, it just felt like I'd done a lot more damage to her.

Spencer was still staring, and a lone tear was making it down her cheek. I was tempted to wipe it away but I was running out of time. The teenage boy was making a scene to get security to come lock me away, and the airport personnel was reminding the passengers that the plane was about to take off.

I couldn't let her go. I just couldn't.

"This is for you, Spencer Carlin."

I started picking the melody, and noticed from the corner of my eye how people around me immediately stopped to listen. But they were merely in the background. What mattered to me was the person in front of me – the girl who held my heart.

 _Oh no, did I get too close?_

 _Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?_

 _All your insecurities_

 _All the dirty laundry_

 _Never made me blink one time_

 _Unconditional, unconditionally_

 _I will love you unconditionally_

 _There is no fear now_

 _Let go and just be free_

 _I will love you unconditionally_

 _Come just as you are to me_

 _Don't need apologies_

 _Know that you are worthy_

 _I'll take your bad days with your good_

 _Walk through the storm I would_

 _I do it all because I love you, I love you_

 _Unconditional, unconditionally_

 _I will love you unconditionally_

 _There is no fear now_

 _Let go and just be free_

 _I will love you unconditionally_

 _So open up your heart and just let it begin_

 _Open up your heart and just let it begin_

 _Open up your heart and just let it begin_

 _Open up your heart_

 _Acceptance is the key to be_

 _To be truly free_

 _Will you do the same for me?_

 _Unconditional, unconditionally_

 _I will love you unconditionally_

 _And there is no fear now_

 _Let go and just be free_

 _'Cause I will love you unconditionally oh yeah_

 _I will love you unconditionally_

 _I will love you_

 _I will love you unconditionally_

Time stood still as I finally slowed the melody and looked up into blue eyes pooled up with tears.

"Please stay, and let me love you the way you deserve to be loved," I croaked out.

"Ma'am? I'm sorry, but you're going to have to come with us."

I barely even registered that I was now surrounded by hundreds of excited onlookers, and a handful of security staff. And of course, a very ticked off teenager. None of them mattered.

I held my breath, staring, _pleading_ , at the beautiful girl in front of me. She was the only one who mattered. Who _ever_ mattered.

"Ashley…"


	24. How To: Accept Unconditional Love

**A/N: And… sadly this fic has reached its end – these are the final 2 chapters. Thank you all for reading and supporting!**

 **FufuTheFallenAngel – CH22 : Hahaha, loved the review on this one! I didn't have a white horse or sunset or singing birds – but read on, I'm sure the ending will be satisfactory. You're hurting me with the Disney movie references – what was in your drinks? ;) I liked the 'boo' part. Thanks for all your reviews and reading! CH23 : Nope, no meadow either. Stop drinking! ;)**

 **Anjela78 – CH22 : That was one kick-ass long review! Thank you so much! I kindof liked Spencer's speech too – there was so much more I wanted to put into it but I didn't want to make it too heavy! This next chapter might explain a little more why she's running – she was in love and got her heart broken after all. But… I agree that it's not really the greatest solution. I guess you'll just have to keep on reading to see what happens :) Josie… well, I had to add an antagonist – every story needs them! I had to keep her in the story to keep Ashley's progress going. Do not fear, dear reader – maybe there will be some more tears, but you can breathe now, last chapter has a happy ending – but that's all I'm willing to reveal! CH23 : Awwww thank you, I'm feeling very flattered now! It would be awesome to go to Prague though, but our exchange rates are horrific so travel is out of the question for a while. I don't want to give up too much, the ending is here and I do promise there is a happy ending for our favorite two characters ;) And don't worry, I struggle with sleep too especially when I want to write! Now you can stay awake and read :) Thank you so much for reading and all your wonderful reviews!**

 **ChezzLove – CH22 : Well done with the almost 4.0 GPA, I had to Google to see how it works and matches up to what we were used to, as where I'm from we used an average percentage of subjects which would give you an A-F, or percentages such as 90% etc. Anyway, well done – that is quite a high standard you're maintaining! Just for that I'll keep on entertaining you between classes with some more fics ;) CH23 : I also liked the fact that I frustrated everyone with avoiding the article being the glue to Spashley's love for each other. With the song I had in mind I wanted a better setting and not spoil Spencer's big (and so freaken sad) moment. And don't you just think that last sentence fit in so perfectly with the chapter title? Read on to see if the Davies family make their re-appearance. I kindof liked them too, they were so warm and friendly – I almost wish I knew them personally! Thank you for your supportive and amazing reviews throughout the fic – and thanks for reading!**

 **Melirufus – CH22 : OMG, I really laughed at that one – it's something I would do too – and actually, it was quite flattering that you're so hooked on the fic. Old fashioned is good – that's what romantic stories are there for! CH23 : Aaaaw I'm so glad that you're happy with the constant updates – I really try! The cliffhanger… well, sadly it was the last one. Thought I'd let everyone relax and ready happily ever after now. Thanks for your reviews and reading! I really appreciate it!**

 **NM2324 – CH23 : I didn't mean to put in so many cliffhangers, it kind of just happened. But it was cool because it kept everyone on edge! Thank you – I do try to put everything into my writing – so many words and paragraphs and even chapters have been rewritten – but only because I wanted the best for my readers!**

 **Guest – CH23 : Thank you very much! I hope the last two chapters contain so much sweetness that you'll have to eat savory snacks for a week ;) (just kidding) Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **Southtrash – CH23 : Yes, the cliché airport thing… wanted to throw everyone for a loop just to keep the story going a tiny bit more! But sadly, it's time… I also liked the teen idea. Have no idea what spurs these weird ideas on. Maybe I should also stop drinking ;) Thank you for reading and your awesome reviews!**

 **Son-lyn – CH23 : You know, weird as it might sound, your review kept me rereading it several times because it was just so funny. I loved it! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!**

 **Guest – CH23 : Thank you so much! My writing style came unexpectedly – maybe I'll do more fics like this… will have to see depending on the plot. But thank you so much for reading and reviewing!**

 **Xyepx – CH23 : Thank you so much! And thank you for posting the review I really appreciate it! Keep an eye open for more fics to come shortly :)**

* * *

 **This chapter is dedicated to Mukyti and Son-lyn (still can't get over your last review!) – you guys are truly what inspires the thought processes and writing!**

* * *

 **Spencer**

 **How To : Accept Unconditional Love**

"Passengers for flight 89B, en-route to Los Angeles, this is a final boarding call. Please queue at Gate 9 in Terminal 8, Domestic Flights."

I sighed and stared at my boarding pass with a heavy heart. I'd promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore, at least not until I was in Los Angeles and away from it all, and could do so in isolation. I knew the breakdown would probably last a couple of days.

I haven't really let anything sink in yet. Between the fight with Ashley, and ultimately losing her, and losing my job, and today's crushing humiliation, I was surprised that I could still stand here and put myself through some more misery. Not only was I running away from all these things that hurt terribly, I was also running away from two very dear friends – one childhood friend – who'd been nothing but supportive all these years.

But I didn't know for how much longer I was going to be able to put up a front before it all came tumbling down on me. That's why I had to get away so desperately – I was scared of the fall. I was scared because I was alone.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tuned in to the noise around me, listening as passengers cried goodbye to loved ones. Others were excited. For some it was just a short trip – holiday for a week, business for a couple of days, a fling over the weekend. How I wished I could slot myself into one of those categories.

It would have been nice to just be able to go have a weekend 'fling' away in another state. I imagined myself landing in LA, stepping through the gate into the waiting area after carefully spending time at baggage claims, my eyes locking with a stranger's – maybe blue, or green, because brown hurt too much. We'd feel the chemistry instantly. Book into a hotel. Fornicate away the stains of Ashley Davies from my body. And I'd come back, Monday, a fixed, new person. Go back to work as normal. Write about How-To have one night stands away from home.

If only it could be that simple. I had a feeling my body, and heart, and thoughts, would be tainted by that certain brunette for a long time before I'd be able to get over her. Get over the fact that I was nothing to her while she was everything to me. I guess I was just another notch on her headboard.

My misery only brought on a new spout of tears, together with the familiar stabbing pain in my chest every time I thought of her. Her eyes, her nose crinkling smile, her beautiful face, her raspy voice…

"Spencer!"

It was so incredibly beautiful I wanted to crumble into a heap and just cry.

"Spencer!"

Even in its anxiousness it sounded beautiful. I remembered her singing with her dad. God, another thing that hurt so much. That incredibly amazing family of hers. In all the vocabulary I possessed, for a masters alumna, I couldn't come up with one single word to describe how loved and at home they made me feel. As if we'd known each other for years. As if their daughter had found her life happiness in me. I wondered if they knew how I broke her heart after all. I could see Raife pull out his shotgun, and Christine turn from the sweet, loving woman to a madwoman with a kitchen knife.

"Spencer!"

My morbid thoughts were interrupted by the same raspy voice calling my name over and over again.

It was eerie, and confusing. I was already not in a safe state of mind. I feared that if I looked up, she wouldn't be there, and that I'd imagined hearing my name. Security would come and take me to a mental hospital.

But I dared to anyway.

And there she was, several feet away. She was a beautiful, attractive, disarrayed mess. Wearing her ever present black, tight jeans, white tank top and a leather jacket, she was breathtaking. Even the scowl on her face was gorgeous. Her hair was disheveled. She was panting. She was…

Here?

 _"Ashley?"_ As her name left my lips I almost regretted it, scared that she'd disappear.

But my acknowledgement of her existence only spurred her on to rush closer to me. While she knocked people out of her way, the passengers in my queue gently knocked me forward – towards the boarding gates.

She finally stopped right in front of me, blocking my way from a possible escape to eternal solitude.

"Where are you going?" she panted, and I wondered if her heart was beating as fast as mine.

It still felt so surreal. I wanted to reach out and touch her, just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Instead, I found my voice and asked the dumb question that made everything awkward. "Ashley… what are you doing here?"

Maybe it was valid. I don't know.

I noticed her flinch at my question, and instantly felt bad.

"Spence… where are you going?" she asked again, dismissing my curiosity of her presence. Not that I minded. Not one bit. Her use of my name in its shortened version completely threw me for a loop.

"I… uh… I'm…" How was I going to tell her that I was trying to go where she wasn't? How do I explain to her that I was shattered, after losing my heart to her in only 10 days? My inability to come up with something, _any_ thing, was frustrating. I eventually shrugged and pointed to boarding gate, where my flight details revealed where I was running off to.

She tugged at my arm, gently, as if trying to get me away from that dooming queue that was moving at a steady pace, allowing passengers through the gates that would take them miles away from home. "Please, don't go."

My first thought was to jump into her arms and let go of this heaviness that had settled over me. But then I remembered I'd paid a lot of money for this ticket, for the hotel, I'd given up my apartment – I literally wouldn't have anywhere to go. So I tried to put some of that into words, but my heart was betraying me. "Ashley… I can't… I mean, I need to, I – "

She silenced me before I could say more stupid things. "Look, I'm _begging_ you, please don't go. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that I hurt you, and that you had to humiliate yourself on national TV for me to realize what an idiot I've been…"

My eyes went wide. Her rambling held so much meaning that I struggled to hold onto any of those words that just made my heart melt. "You _saw_?" I asked, my voice small in comparison to what I felt.

Her hands grabbed onto mine. I've never seen such sincerity in someone's eyes like I did now. "I _did_. And God, I wish I'd known, I would have been there, Spence, I promise you, I would've been there…"

She had me. She didn't have to say any more. I had a lot of things to sort out, but for the first time in a very long time it felt that everything would maybe be okay after all. "Ashley – "

"Excuse me, I need to board my flight." Our hands got separated by a teenage boy who squeezed in right between us. The animosity on Ashley's face was priceless. I watched her closely as she refrained herself from probably slapping the rudeness out of the boy, to suddenly grabbing the guitar case off his back.

 _Oh, shit!_

When it was evident she wasn't going to knock him out with his own guitar case, I realized she was removing the guitar to… play something? My heart started racing. What was she _doing?_

"Hey, lady! I need to board my plane!" He was such a wimp. For somebody who could be so rude, he didn't know how to take his guitar back from a girl?

On second thought, I wouldn't have dared either as Ashley snapped at him. "Just shut the fuck up and enjoy the show, okay?" She blew him off and carefully tuned the guitar. Then her eyes met mine, and I felt the world coming to an abrupt halt around me.

"I wrote this for you, just after we'd met. I really believed that you were bipolar or something, but Spence, despite that… _in_ spite of that… I just loved you more. And I wanted to play this for you after the gala… but well… yeah…. I hurt you instead…" Her voice died down as she held my gaze.

"This is for you, Spencer Carlin."

And then she started playing. And singing. Taking me away from this dreadful airport into a fantasy world of love and happiness and big families. Every single word that left her lips touched my heart. Ashley Davies was here. She wrote a song for me. She was singing it to me! And I realized, then, what her words meant…

 _Really_ meant.

 _Unconditional, unconditionally_

 _I will love you unconditionally_

 _And there is no fear now_

 _Let go and just be free_

 _'Cause I will love you unconditionally oh yeah_

 _I will love you, unconditionally_

 _I will love you_

 _I will love you, unconditionally_

She _loved_ me? I wasn't alone in this? I wasn't the only one who felt this way?

Tears filled my eyes for the umpteenth time.

"Please stay, and let me love you the way you deserve to be loved," she croaked.

A smile broke out on my face, and all I wanted to do was grab her and hold her in my arms until we got wisped away. Which was going to be soon when I realized the annoying teenager had called security on my girl.

"Ma'am? I'm sorry, but you're going to have to come with us."

But Ashley ignored them. Her eyes were on me – _still_ on me, and it felt like I was the only person she could see. My heart pounded against my chest. I couldn't be happier. I couldn't believe that my fairy tale was about to have a girl in the end. _My_ girl.

"Ashley…" I whispered, my throat thick with joyous tears. It felt like I was destined to say only her name. I stepped closer to her, ignoring the world around us the same way she did, and gently took the guitar from her hands, handing it to the impatient teen.

And then I couldn't control myself anymore. I flung myself into her arms, my hands reaching for her face, wiping stray tears from her cheeks. When our lips connected I felt the familiar tingle that only Ashley Davies had ever made me feel. I revelled in her scent – that delicious CK One – and felt my heart race wildly as she pulled me in closer, intensifying our kiss. I refused to stop. I refused to let go of her lips, refused to remove my tongue from her mouth, seeking the familiarity of home she'd instilled in me.

I couldn't remember who ran out of oxygen first, but when we finally pulled away after the second time, we'd been carefully placed back into the hustle of the airport, with an enormous crowd around us, cheering us on, by name. Which freaked me out a little, but I then realized someone must've watched the game.

A harsher reality crashed down on us, however, when the security personnel insisted Ashley go with them.

I didn't leave her side for one second.

* * *

"Ash… " I murmured, my entire being on fire as she finally pulled away to take a breath.

"Hmm?" She rested her forehead against mine, eyes closed.

"It's green," I muttered as her soft lips grazed mine again.

She groaned and reluctantly pulled herself together behind the wheel. I missed her lips immediately.

"Are we there yet?" she chuckled, pulling away from the main intersection of her small hometown.

The words that were supposed to make me smile put a frown on my forehead instead. I was suddenly nervous about going back to her parents' ranch. What if her parents and sister hated me for hurting Ashley? What if this time around they were going to doubt my intentions and –

"Stop worrying, Spence. They can't wait to see you – you heard my mom over the phone," she interrupted my thoughts. One hand reached mine and gave it a tight squeeze while she kept the other on the steering wheel.

I let out a deep breath and trusted that Ashley knew what she was talking about. After leaving the airport – Ashley got off with a warning – our phones started going crazy. Mine, because Chelsea and Madison was ecstatic about me still being in New York, and Ashley's, because her entire family had seen my confession on TV. When she finally reassured them that things _did_ work out in the end, her mother insisted we take the hour drive and spend the remainder of the weekend at the ranch. I was in a frenzy, of course. So many things have changed since I saw them a week ago. But the beautiful brunette next to me had managed to calm me down and we decided we'd take her family up on the offer.

But now that we were close, so very close, my nerves started eating away at me again. I was scared of the heart ache if they had to reject me. It was too close to home.

"Hey, it's going to be okay. Trust me?" Ashley reassured me. She gave my hand another gentle squeeze and cut the engine.

It was time.

I barely had time to collect my thoughts when the front door yanked open, much like the first time when the twins came barging towards their aunt. But this time it wasn't the case. What I saw wasn't Raife Davies with a shotgun, or Christine Davies with a soon-to-be blood-covered butcher knife. Neither was it Kyla with a pillow to suffocate me in my sleep.

It was the friendly, loving Davies family, in all their normalcy, totally ignoring Ashley as she opened my door for me, and before I knew, I was embraced in the most bone-crushing hug ever. By Raife and Christine Davies.

I caught Ashley's smirk over her mother's shoulder, and finally felt myself relaxing. Maybe it _was_ going to be okay.

* * *

I couldn't help the overwhelming feeling that washed over me as the photos on the wall caught my eye. Framed neatly, in a section that was dedicated to _Greatest Memories_ , was a photograph of Ashley running behind a blonde on a bicycle, the girl laughing as she finally got the hang of balancing and riding the bike. A blonde girl who was me. I had to do a double take to just make sure that it was in fact, me. I've never seen myself smile or laugh like that before.

"Jim! We're so glad you're finally here – I'm sure everybody's starving!" I heard Christine by the front door.

"Sorry I took so long, I had to make a couple of stops to find this for you – it's been sold out everywhere."

"Oh I'm sure of that. After the game today I'm actually surprised that you managed to find one at all!"

I frowned. What were they talking about?

"Raife! Girls, come on, Jim's here – dinner's ready! Ash! Kyla, Spencer!" Christine's voice echoed through the house, and I felt my heart warm at the mention of my name.

It felt like… _home_.

I tore myself away from the display of the Davies family on their photo-wall, and wandered over to the enormous kitchen table, already set for the family dinner. I wasn't sure why, but I loved that table. I was sure it held so many secrets and tales of this beautiful family.

"Spencer, honey, come have a seat. Where's Ashley?" Christine frowned.

I smiled at the mention of her name. "She went to take a shower. She should be down shortly."

It was then when I noticed the magazine in Christine's hand. IN-NY. A finger carefully acting as a bookmark on the pages of my How-To article.

I blushed. And started worrying again.

"Hey." A kiss landed on the top of my head, and seconds later Ashley slid into a chair next to me. She smelled so fresh, and I suddenly regretted not taking the shower _with_ her.

I sat back and watched the rest of the family saunter to the table and made themselves comfortable. Raife sat down at the head, saving a seat for Christine on the corner next to him, with Harrison and James next to her; Jim at the other end, and Kyla, Ashley and myself on the opposite side. I tried to take in every bit of detail in my tired mind, savoring these moments.

"So, girls, after this wonderful tale of yours, I thought it would make it very special to have this dinner for you. You know, Spencer, Ashley has never brought a girl home. I know I told you that already – but I just want you to know that you must be very special to our girl. And any girl who is special to Ashley, is special to us. Welcome to the family, honey." Christine's speech brought instant tears to my eyes.

Ashley gave my hand a supportive squeeze and Raife leaned over and gripped my shoulder. "I've never seen my girl so happy."

"Mom, dad," Ashley whined. Her face was as red as mine.

"Spencer, your article is wonderful. I hope you don't mind, but we're putting this up on the wall. You know, for the grandchildren one day. Raife and I absolutely _adore_ love-stories," Christine continued despite Ashley's plead for them to stop.

"Oh, hey, here's something else you can tell your kids one day," Kyla piped up. She grabbed her phone from her pocket, and after swiping and pressing on the screen, a video finally popped up.

It was Ashley singing at the airport. Somebody had posted it online!

After a lot of tears and laughter, everybody had finally calmed down and we managed to have dinner – as a family.

Aside from having Ashley back in my life, this was the best feeling. Ever.


	25. How To: Appreciate Love

**A/N: Last chapter – I feel like crying! :( . I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed the writing! Check out the Footnote for reference to the music – none of the lyrics I used throughout the story were mine. Neither is the characters of SON. (and Girltrash)**

 **Next fic… first chapters will probably be up in two weeks or so… have to go binge watch the movies now! I've got ideas for 2 fics – still deciding if I should run them together or do one at a time. Let's see.**

 **Thank you to each and everyone for the wonderful reviews and support while writing, and thank you for reading!**

* * *

 **Special thanks to ChezzLove and Anjela78 – your reviews throughout the fic were the inspiration for the last two chapters! This one's specially for you!**

* * *

 **Ashley**

 **How To : Appreciate Love**

I saw my family through different eyes this morning. I watched intently from the kitchen table; my mother and father engaging comically in front of the stove, cooking up a breakfast for kings. Dad occasionally whispered sweet nothings into Mom's ear, making her giggle and blush.

How come I've never noticed this before?

I tried to remember other happy mornings, but there were really just _so_ many, and normally I'd gag at all the love being shared around the kitchen.

But today was different. Today I _embraced_ it.

My gaze landed on Kyla and Jim; she handed him his special mug – the boys gave it to him for Father's day. Jim smiled and lovingly kissed Kyla after taking in the scent of Mom's special brew of coffee. She still refused to tell me what beans she used – said it was the magic potion that kept her children visiting. Well, part of that was true – I did love Mom's coffee!

I never thought the day would come where my heart would warm seeing my sister being kissed. I never particularly liked Kyla being in relationships – for the fear that she'd get hurt. When Jim Woods proposed to my little sister I went berserk. But when they had the boys, and later Leigh, I was in love with their family. Secretly jealous, even. And I finally understood why.

A giggle escaped me as Jim tried to kiss Kyla again, but she turned her attention to Leigh who let out a giggle of her own. Jim's lips connected to Kyla's ear. It was funny indeed.

And finally, I felt butterflies as I saw Leigh giggle again in Spencer's arms.

Spencer.

Her features were soft, glowing, as she interacted with my niece. She was pulling funny faces, and of course, Leigh loved them as much as I did. Who wouldn't find my blonde irresistible?

I took sips of my own magical coffee, feeling appreciation well up inside me. I'd never thought this day would come, where I'd feel the kind of contentment that Kyla always babbled about. I never thought I'd understand the _love_ she was always talking about. Just a month ago I hated the word, the thought, the whole _idea_ of it.

But when love came in the form of Spencer Carlin, you didn't say no to it. You couldn't. I tried, didn't even last the week. I was broken without her.

Even now, the thought of almost losing her made me choke up.

"… game and thereafter lunch and a quick bike ride?"

I didn't realize Dad was talking to me until his hand waved in front of me. "Are you with us, kiddo?"

When five sets of eyes turned to stare at me I couldn't help but blush slightly. "I'm here."

"So what do you say? Same teams, kick some butt today?"

I figured he was talking about baseball. I was definitely in. My eyes met Spencer's, and that familiar feeling of wanting to hold her gaze forever washed over me. I think we just silently made a bet about hot sex and the winning team getting a treat. I couldn't be too sure…

* * *

So I had to admit, Spencer kicked ass on the baseball field. Topping her previous record to a staggering total of six home runs, I could no longer pretend that she just had a lucky day. I wasn't even as annoyed as the previous time. In fact, I was actually quite proud of her.

I was even more proud as she managed to get onto her dirt bike without any help, and followed me without trouble to our spot at the waterfall. _Her_ bike… I was going to paint her name on it.

She went for a swim again but I found it somewhat cold; so I was more than happy to hold her close to me and warm up her freezing body afterwards with some much needed intimate affection.

"And that sigh?" she asked softly as I released a contented breath. Her head rested on my chest, listening to my racing heartbeat as we lay on a blanket close to the water.

"It's a happy sigh. I can't believe you're here, in my arms."

"Yeah… I'm happy too, you know. It really hurt to be away from you," she admitted quietly.

"It hurt me too," I confessed. "Spence, I'm really sorry for hurting you. And for the things I said."

She lifted her head to look at me. "I'm sorry too, Ash. I wish I'd done things differently – "

"No, stop," I interrupted her. I leaned in and planted a kiss on her forehead. "You know, we wouldn't have met each other if it wasn't for our jobs. So let's focus on that part – and the good times. Though you did drive me crazy," I couldn't help but chuckle, and finally let out a soft laugh as she blushed.

"Yeah, about that…"

"I know you're not crazy. Or bipolar. I must give it to you, though, you were brilliant – you definitely had me fooled." It felt good to finally laugh about it. "I have to know, though… the Golfer's Digest – "

She let out a hearty laugh and I fell in love with her even more. "Oh, God no. I _hate_ golf. I knew you hated it too, so that's why…"

I was suddenly intrigued by all the things she'd driven my insane with. "And uhm… the toilet cover, mat, and towels?"

She pulled herself up a little, leaving a soft kiss on my lips. "My favorite color is dark blue. I got those at a garage sale."

I was somewhat scared of the next one. "And… the itch?"

She laughed again, blushing profusely. "I was surprised that you packed it for me last weekend. It was Tylenol in there – Chelsea made the label."

Relief washed over me. Not that it would have mattered, I did, after all, confess that I loved her unconditionally, but it put my mind at ease.

My silence had her laughing until tears escaped her eyes.

"What about the chicken?" I kept prodding. I wanted to know everything about her. Even the little things. _Especially_ the little things.

"I love chicken. I would have devoured that meal in minutes – it really looked delicious, Ash. I hope you'll cook for me again." She was suddenly shy.

"I'll cook for you, every day, for the rest of our lives," I blurted out before I realized what I was saying.

Spencer's eyes met mine within seconds, but I suddenly felt safe, even after betraying my heart's secrets. "I guess I'll bring you coffee in bed then, every day, for the rest of our lives…"

It was way too soon to talk like this. But Spencer had just made me the happiest woman on the planet. She sealed her promise with soft kisses on my lips, until want took over and it became more urgent. I gladly obliged, and pulled her close to me, sealing my own promise with kisses that made her scream my name.

I wished the moment would never end. I didn't want the day to end.

But even if it did, it would be okay.

Because I was in love, I had my girl, and tomorrow we would wake up together. Who knows, maybe it _would_ just be for the rest of our lives…

* * *

 **Disclaimer : I don't own any of the characters used in this fic, except for Josie Hemmingway and Carmen Matheson.**

 **Original Storyline :**

 **Written by : Brian Regan, Burr Steers for the movie**

 **Based on : How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days by Kristen Buckley and Brian Regan**

 **The lyrics/songs belong to:**

 **CH7 : How To : Reel in bait – The little things** **–** **Colbie Caillat**

 **CH9 : How To : Keep calm when the switch flips – California King Bed** **–** **Rihanna**

 **CH9 : How To : Keep calm when the switch flips – I will find you** **–** **Zedd**

 **CH16 : How To : Build castles in the sky – Hold on to me – Mandy Musgrave ft C.C DeVille**

 **CH17 : How To : Build a Lego house – Lego House – Ed Sheeran**

 **CH18 : How To : Have your heart shattered – She hates me – Puddle of Mudd**

 **CH21 : How To : Lose a girl in 10 days II – Use Somebody – Kings of Leon**

 **CH23 : How To : Love Unconditionally – Unconditionally – Katy Perry**


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